Road rage

**Mr. Machette** · Posted On: 5/21/2010 8:42pm

I mostly reserve that kind of anger for special morons. People who endanger me with their reckless **** driving, and then have the audacity to flip the bird, or even worse, try to block me and get out of their car for a fight.

Once, driving home on the freeway, some ass hat on his cellphone kept swerving into my lane. The guy nearly collides with me. Doesn't check his blind spot, or even his mirrors, just swerves into my lane. I have to break hard to keep him from hitting me. O.k., he made a mistake. Happens. He's weaving in and out of traffic. And he does it again! This time I'm honking. He's oblivious. The third time he does it, I'm thinking it's got to be something personal. We wind up taking the same exit by pure chance. At this point, I decide to follow him. He earned it. Thrice. I follow him to a nearby hospital where he's picking someone up out front. I park behind him and walk up to his window. At that point in my life, I looked like the bad guy from an action movie. Goatee, all black clothes, beanie, trench coat, boot's, the whole deal. So he looks up to see Kaiser Soze staring down at him, and Soze was fucking pissed. I explained to him that he nearly ran me off the road THREE EFFING TIMES IN FIVE MINUTES!!!! He had no idea he'd nearly wrecked at all. EFFING MORON. However, he did look like he was about to **** his pants on the spot, and I would gain nothing by assaulting him with so many witnesses. So I told him to pay better attention and left.

Another choice incident was the yuppie couple that pulled a lane change mid intersection nearly hitting my car. They were in a left turn only lane, and decided to go straight. Except that I was in the go straight lane, and they were right next to me. Another hard break and horn honk. They proceed to flip me off repeatedly for about three miles, while driving 15 in a 25, on tiny residential streets where I could not get around them. Finally, we wind up stopped at a light, and they are blocked in by other cars. I exit my car, walk up to the driver side window, and proceed to rip a new asshole into the pretentious vegetarian I find looking back in absolute terror. WTF did they think was going to happen? I was going to feel demeaned, and go cry to my therapist about it? Hell no! They could have hurt me, they could have hurt themselves, and their poor dog sitting in the back right where my car would have hit them if I hadn't reacted fast enough. Fucking oblivious assholes! Anyways, the yuppie **** never stepped up to the plate, he just made stupid surrender faces, and cried a bit then slammed the gas as soon as their lane was clear. I'm sure they managed to successfully wreck their car somehow eventually. I believe in them.

Most recent was simply stupid. And I wasn't the one in a rage. Guy cuts me off in a parking lot. No biggie, people drive like assholes here. But then he stops. For no reason. Just blocks me in. He's not going anywhere. After a couple of seconds, I give him a quick honk. Nothing big, just a little tap. He takes this as a grievous personal attack, and jumps out of his car in a rage. Now, I'm not particularly impressed by territorial threat displays, so I jut sat there while he started walking towards me, screaming and gesticulating. I grabbed my trusty Ontario Tanto which I keep in the center console for just such an occasion, and calmly use my other hand to beckon him forward. "If you want it, come get it". More or less. The **** stick gets back in his car. I figure that I can hang a left, and just get around him by weaving through the parking lot, which I do, just before he can get his car in gear, and back up to hit me, making it look like a rear end, which is exactly what the fucker tried to do.

Assholes.

You know, they call it road rage, but the way some of these fools behave, how can they expect to not get the **** kicked out of them?

Afterthought: One of my favorite road rage "fight" moves is one that I learned from my dad. You have to be outside of their car before they get out though. When your "opponent" for lack of a better word steps out of their car to fight, slam the door on them repeatedly until they stop struggling. Works like a charm. It's also something you must watch out for if you've got a pissed off troglodyte spitting all over your window, and your considering stepping out to meet him halfway.

**animlmthr** · Posted On: 5/21/2010 9:44pm

I used to drive a station wagon; an aqua green, 1994 Ford escort station wagon. As such, I got cut off, and generally disrespected, on the road quite a bit in that thing.
It seems I got the least respect (or I just noticed it more) from dickhole males in trucks.

I always enjoyed the stupid look on their faces when I finally caught up to them and proceeded to **** with them as best I could with my little wagon. Not smart, I know. Of course they were able to pass me up due their V8's, etc but it was a nice jab nonetheless.

Don't do much of the road rage now, probably due to an upgrade to a 4runner and old age.

***battlefields*** · Posted On: 5/21/2010 10:10pm

Update: next day, same guy trying to stare me down at another set of lights. Window goes down and I basically say what's up Giving my best, don't **** with me impression and he says you shouldn't be so aggressive, I tell him his oblivious driving frustrated the **** out of me to start with then you nearly damage my vehicle by swerving into my lane. I said I didn't appreciate being followed and that he was treading a dangerous road. He apologised and said he was frustrated when I threw the finger and he flipped. I said cool, we were both pissed off and we could leave it there. *window up*

**Squerlli** · Posted On: 5/21/2010 10:42pm

I know I have a couple of posts about seeing road rage (I've yet to get into a fight since I've only been driving for a little less then 2 years, I'm only 19 turning 20).

Something that happened a few days ago was very funny though. Some idiot in a HUGE GMC yukon (here's an example: http://www.gmc.com/yukon/yukon/index.jsp) tries to cut me off in a two way street. Here's when karma kicks him in the balls.

I speed up just a little bit because frankly for him to cut me off I'd have to slam on my breaks and hope the car in front of me has enough room to fit his oversized car infront of me. So as I speed up he's right next to me trying to inch ahead and all of a sudden a car turns into the lane he's in from the corner ahead and he slams his breaks down, waits for me to move up with the rest of the cars in front of me and gets back behind me while the car that just turned off the corner is blasting their horn at him.

I gave him a thumbs up when we got a red light. He screamed "**** you ******!" and I laughed for like 3 minutes straight. What a clown.

Story of what happened to a friend's family member: This guy was driving down the Highway with his wife. He's a bit of old timer (he was in his mid 50's when this happened, so the whole "going fast for the **** of it" thing wore off on him years ago) and he make a lane change going from the left lane to the middle lane. He's in front of some random guy, whatever no big deal, he was like 10 feet ahead of him and made a clean and proper transition.

Random guy does not feel this way.

Random guy goes from the middle lane to the right lane and drives next the old timer. He rolls down his window and starts screaming profane obscenities and just a bunch of totally unneccesary nonsense. He gets ignored for like 5 mins. He then starts hurling **** from his car at the old timers car. Water bottles, loose change, a bunch of **** not only endangering the old mans life but the lives of drivers behind them as well. This goes on for like 10 more mins simply because of bad traffic and the nervousness + adrenaline the old guy is dealing with.

Old man snaps. He drives the bastard off into the pull over lane and parks his car an angle in front of him. Douche bag didn't count on the fact that the old dude used to lift weights like crazy and even at his age looks like a fucking Adonis. He grabs a pipe, smashes the idiot's windows (all of em), pulls him out of the car and proceeds to beat him with one hand while he has his hands around his throat with the other. Old guy is raging out, he's doing this for like 10 mins while his wife is shouting. Cops pull up.

He served 7 years for that and the jackass got off scott-free :\

Use your head, make sure the first thing you do is call the cops. Justice is not distributed equally for everyone, it's given to those smart enough to know how to use it.

**crawford** · Posted On: 5/21/2010 11:21pm

http://www.aaafoundation.org/resourc...utton=agdrtext

Just an FYI. 62% of people experience aggressive tailgating each year, but only 1% or less get physical.

**sunsetsamurai** · Posted On: 5/21/2010 11:43pm

I was at a stop light in the front of a a row of cars in a two lane road that merges into one lane , some car comes out of nowhere next to me, he was trying to wait for the green light, and speed past every one up I said f#@k that as soon as the light turned green I punched it and cut the guy off... I looked in my rear-view mirror and saw big wavy hair i thought it was a woman, and brushed it off... the "woman" suddenly comes out of the left lane crosses 2 lanes to cut me off, I thought it was funny so I turned into a random street and this "woman" followed me, I said damn shes ballsy... when I looked at the driver next to me I saw a man with big curly hair cursing at me and all that good stuff... NEXT TIME ILL JUST LET THE MOTH3R F*#K3R PASS ME UP ITS NOT WORTH DEALING WITH PSYCHOS...