8th grader with a bully problem

**ciscodog** · Posted On: 5/19/2010 8:50am

So i get done training last night and am asked to take a trial lesson. The kid is 14 and in 8th grade. I ask him the obligatory " Why do you want to take MA?" He says for self defense. I think "ok" and we start his trial lesson. As the lesson is winding down i ask him " Are you having problem with a a bully at school or something" He meekly replies "yes" and goes on to describe to me that another kid is hitting him everyday. Well i know that the trial lesson isnt going to help this kid so I ask him how hes being hit by this kid. He shows me that the kid is throwing haymakers and hitting him in his head and told me it happened again today. I wanted to show him something so he could at least not get hit so I took some time to show him how to check hands and cover for a haymaker and drilled him for an extra 10-15 minutes on it, me throwing straight punches and hooks and him blocking or checking, not to look at his face but focus on the kids chest...his mom is watching and i tell him that he should be able to at least keep himself from getting hit to hard and get a teachers attention. Because his mom was there i didnt want to tell him to drop the kid like a bad habit, and since hes had one 30 min lesson i didnt think it would be practical. My question is if you had 10-15 minutes to teach a kid how to avoid being hit or at least avoid being hit hard, what would you teach him?

**shelbydeth** · Posted On: 5/19/2010 9:01am

How to run? No I suppose basic defensive skills are a good start, but make sure to let him know he isn't going to be Ralph Machio with a few lessons. It won't do any good if he is under the illusion that he is a deadly ninja. I think you did well.

**ciscodog** · Posted On: 5/19/2010 9:05am

i was surprised to hear from him and his mom this was happening in school. Hes coming back tonight for another and he will be joining the adult class eventually, i just wanted him to have something he could use to minimize the damage he was taken until he could get to a teacher etc. Hes under no illusion, hes just bumming because i guess this **** happens to him a few times a week.

**Matt Phillips** · Posted On: 5/19/2010 9:08am

10 to 15 minutes is not enough time to teach anything. If I HAD to do it I would do as you did. You called it exactly right. If I had even a little more time though I would teach them 1 clinch&trip, and how to hold the mount. That is the ideal position for either punching back, waiting for a teacher, or just holding the kid until he gives up (younger grades).

HOWEVER, in my experience no amount of training will protect your kid from being bullied. I have an 8th grader with very basic Ne Waza, decent wrestling, and 6 years of boxing and kickboxing. It makes no difference. Sure he never gets bullied by the same kid twice, but he just gets bullied by someone else the next time. He is literally knocking people out and still gets picked on. At the end of the day, if you have a personality reason, racial reason, class reason, etc that is attracting trouble, knowing how to fight will do nothing to protect you from trouble. Just injury (if even, as his hand are often getting injured)

Worth noting.

**shelbydeth** · Posted On: 5/19/2010 9:08am

Well I hope he can overcome his problem. With deadly force! Or good conflict resolution skills. That's not as fun though.

**Kintanon** · Posted On: 5/19/2010 9:11am

Crazy monkey -> duck under -> RNC would be my 10-15 minute drill I think.... But dunno what the liability is for teaching a 14 year old to choke his classmates unconscious. That's still the best combo eva when any of my goofy retard friends want to spar though, and I figure most of them are about the same skill level as your average 8th grade bully.

**ciscodog** · Posted On: 5/19/2010 9:13am

good idea WW, thats what ill show him tonight, check or block , close the gap, takedown and mount...hes a big 14 year old, just kinda goofy, and i think that may be attracting the bully to him. His coordination seems ok, he picked up the concept of lead checks rear and vice versa and was able to use it.

**Yoj** · Posted On: 5/19/2010 9:13am

You don't have to fight back _much_ to put a bully off, after all, they are in it for the ease of it. If it looks like he is picking up some skills from somewhere, he probably won't have to resort to hitting him, the bully is going to figure out the good times are coming to an end and is most likely to avoid getting into it with him when he starts fighting back properly. Hopefully.

If not he can get a lot of his frustration out by smacking him.

**ciscodog** · Posted On: 5/19/2010 9:17am

Originally Posted by Kintanon

Crazy monkey -> duck under -> RNC would be my 10-15 minute drill I think.... But dunno what the liability is for teaching a 14 year old to choke his classmates unconscious. That's still the best combo eva when any of my goofy retard friends want to spar though, and I figure most of them are about the same skill level as your average 8th grade bully.

I dont want him to apply an rnc or triangle etc just keep himself from getting hurt right now. I think getting a dominant position will be easier for him to grasp and get the hang off in 30/45 min.

**Lebell** · Posted On: 5/19/2010 9:21am

i have some very good advice for you on these matters but i need to know more about the mom first.
how old is she?
whats her figure?
how tall is she?
she divorced?