What would you do? Observing spouse abuse...

**Sri Hanuman** · Posted On: 5/21/2010 10:48am

Originally Posted by Lebell

don't get me wrong but you guys are too sensitive.
emotionally i mean.
if a gf pulls that **** with me she has another thing coming, not because im a superawesome badass, but trough my childhood which was somewhat troubelng ive learned to switch off any affection of any kind instantly.
a gf can slap to vent anger, tats allright with me, but when it becomes a pattern and its not out of anger it will have to end.

i've had two ocasions of weird exes, allow me to tell two amusing stories.

no1 was a stereotypical black chick like you would see in comedy movies with martin summin summin playing that fat black chick.
she'd be superjealous, and suddenly have outbursts etc.
now i learned from that relationshp that jealous people are actually more prone to cheating themselves, thats why they have so little trust in others.

things went sauer, i broke it off, she went weird,suddenly had a bf, i phoned her to ask some of my books back which were at her place, this guy picks up the phone:'uhm, yeah she is under the shower now..'
'lolwut?'
it was ON!

so we met up, talked a little and she wasnt very clever so soon enough i found out she'd already messing with him while with me.
she'd go on a holiday with him to greece etc etc
so the week before greece she came to my place dropping off stuff or picking up, cant remember.
i planned that.
i sat her down and did the ' so this is it then' story, it was worthy of an oscar, i concluded:i just want YOU to be happy...
she said:you really love me huh?

so she went home, and she went on holiday.
i texted her something sweet on the day she'd leave.
my planworked like a charm:she called me from greece and said: look...can we work it out if i break it off with this guy?
i said yes and she dumped him in the middle of fucking greece, tooka flight to lolland and went to my place:
we had the most dirty nasty unnatural sex session you've ever seen on youporn.com, i mean semen everywhere, bedsheets soaked with all kinds of fluids and what not.

then when i had put all my clothes on i smiled and said: get the **** out of my house.
she: what..?!
i say when its over, not you, you dirty cheater, now get dressed and **** off.

i wonder if she's lesbian today.

I love you man.
(havent laughed this hard since a cat got punted into the ceiling fan)

**Tsukyomi** · Posted On: 5/21/2010 11:02am

ouch, just yesterday I Ssen a girl and boy arguing in front of the school im thinkin maybe they were just joking around (its hard for me to tell at times) or maybe just small relationship problems e.t.c I really dont know...but then they both started screaming at eatch other and the dude said "ima knock your A** out"

(This happend in front of a crowded school) people were watching. then they started to brawl, I couldnt tell if he was hitting her or pushing her from my distance but as I was walking towards it to stop it the fight was already stopped in a couple of seconds

I was like "wtf?" I mean cmon now its high school....

**Mtripp** · Posted On: 5/21/2010 11:03am

I have not given up on life, at least not yet.

I have given up on that thing called "love" and "relationships." My selection process sucks, and enough is enough.

**XXIV** · Posted On: 5/21/2010 11:20am

Originally Posted by War Wheel

continuing from the above... for what it's worth this is how I have tried to work around these feelings: I accept that while the responsibility for being violent rests with my ex wife, the thing generating the fear was my seeming lack of ability to spot a psycho. This is what other people are for; this is what your friends are for. Your friends (hopefully) are not stuck on your new girl. Introduce her, and they'll tell you if this one pings their PsychoDar. It is very difficult to see clearly when you are stuck on someone, even if they are damaged. I am stuck on such a person right now, but I have FINALLY got my PsychoDar up and running, and I will not go there. Even I learn, if slowly.

Incoming Catharsis:

That was a lot of my problem - My PsychoDar was off kilter. I had quite a few great friends that saw through his bullshit, but everyone else had their own affairs in high school - My friends were starting to date, my other friend's parents passed away and she drifted away in her grieving, I made the mistake of letting my 15 year old crush hormones get tied up in a foreign exchange student that was my friend but a relationship that would never work etc. It seems so stupid to me now, but he saw his opening and latched on like a parasite. Now that I look back on him after reading the DSM-IV-TR he fits quite a few things like a glove - my therapist and rape counselor agrees.

I allowed myself to overcome the red flags he constantly threw up and before I knew it, I was completely in his clutches.

To this day I regret hanging out with him for the better part of that night, passing his constant innuendo off as a joke. I regret being so ignorant and trusting despite what my instincts told me, despite what my friends felt from him. I actually thought for some time that maybe I was always supposed to feel nauseated, filthy and depraved after sexual contact.

I'd share specifics but I think they need spoiler tags here.

I met my current boyfriend (of 4 years now) shortly after I stopped speaking to the guy entirely. All my boyfriend knew was that the guy was 'crass' and 'disgusting'. I last spoke to him in 2005. I never told anyone what happened until October 2008. There were trust issues with my boyfriend in the beginning - then I spiraled into deep depression on and off - to the point where I lost my ability to draw and focus. Keeping that entire situation bottled up from 2005 until 2008 absolutely destroyed me on the inside. I tried to find every excuse as to why it wasn't him, why he was an ok guy and I was just young and didn't know how to sort my feelings, it was because I hated school, it was because I hated work - anything but him, right? I skyrocketed from 220 lbs to 290, trying to eat the pain away. My doctor put me on Wellbutrin but it did nothing but make me feel shitty so I was promptly taken off of it.

I binge eat at a Chinese buffet all alone one night. I'm sitting in my car after they close staring at the steering wheel - all the sudden it hits me like a ton of bricks it was him all along. I curled into a ball and cried, screamed, wailed like I was possessed. I called my stepmother and finally told her. I called my father. I called my mother. I called a therapist who I saw for the better part of 08-09

Here I am in 2010 finally getting on with my life. I've turned my grades around, just got accepted into art school, I'm able to keep a retail job without going completely insane and I'm playing sports/fighting and dropping all this weight. He took everything from me, he took some great years of my life away from me and wanted them for his own.

END CATHARTIC RANT

**It is Fake** · Posted On: 5/21/2010 11:26am

Originally Posted by Pezzle

Here I am in 2010 finally getting on with my life. I've turned my grades around, just got accepted into art school, I'm able to keep a retail job without going completely insane and I'm playing sports/fighting and dropping all this weight. He took everything from me, he took some great years of my life away from me and wanted them for his own.

END CATHARTIC RANT

Doesn't matter when, how long, or why you move forward as long as you do.

**Sri Hanuman** · Posted On: 5/21/2010 11:27am

Ouch. Glad you were able to get it off your chest. These kind of things really **** with your mind and being in a very intense way that affects literally... everything.

Props on having the courage to finally get it out.

**Lebell** · Posted On: 5/21/2010 11:27am

Originally Posted by Mtripp

I have not given up on life, at least not yet.

I have given up on that thing called "love" and "relationships." My selection process sucks, and enough is enough.

You should come visit me sometimes, ill take you to amsterdam and i swear we will find you that special little lady.
well for at least an hour or so.
;-)

then we'll smoke a nice fat joint (dont worry, its legal here) and philosophise about the tight asses of the hot european women that pass us by.

how bout that huh?

**Lebell** · Posted On: 5/21/2010 11:31am

Originally Posted by Pezzle

I made the mistake of letting my 15 year old crush hormones get tied up in a foreign exchange student that was my friend but a relationship that would never work etc. It seems so stupid to me now, but he saw his opening and latched on like a parasite.

Was he italian or french?
must be one of the two.
i think more italian cos they're slightly bigger douchebags then the french.