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  1. --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    Josh Koscheck and Paul Daley - Douchebags of the Month



    You can't write a regular column about douchebags without occasionally getting a little douche on yourself. Of course, not literally, although the idea of walking around all day telling people you'd just been making a salad is mildly amusing. No, what I mean here is that he who fights douchebags must take care that he not become a douchebag himself.

    I say this as a preface to this column because I had to defer to the better angels of my nature to avoid using the term "Cock Joshcheck" as I wrote this. I sincerely felt entitled to use this moniker for the guy, given his behavior last night. Also, as this is a MMA website and not a politics one, I had to refrain from making a "Daley-Kos" joke. But alas, I'm a dick, not a douchebag, so I did neither.

    For those of you who were busy fapping to a Jet Li film, or playing Modern Warfare 2 instead of watching the UFC last night (in the case of the latter, you can do both; I did), there was a veritable douche fountain on display in the Josh Koscheck/Paul Daley fight. It was as if just before the fight, the Padouchesha Emperor, from his throne, commanded "The Douche must flow".

    Ok, so you didn't read Dune either. Whatever. There were two incidents in the fight that will forever go down in MMA history as a low point. And by "forever", I mean, for a few months until the memory span of the average MMA fan expires.

    1. CocJosh Koscheck blatantly faked being hit with an illegal knee. Seriously, I've seen better acting at a no-budget wrestling promotion out of Waco, Tx. He laid there on the canvas clasping his head when Daley's knee didn't even make contact with it.

    2. Paul Daley clocked Koscheck after the final bell. Not much to explain here. He walked over and just suckerpunched him. And it was a crappy punch too, since it didn't wipe off Koscheck's perpetual ****-eating grin; it actually made it bigger.

    The aftermath of this fight can be boiled down into two sentences: Dana White permanently barred Daley from ever fighting again in the UFC. And Koscheck admitted in a post-fight interview with ESPN that he'd been running his mouth to Daley during the entire fight, egging him on.

    As someone who judges MMA I've seen hundreds of fights, close enough to have shirts ruined from bloodspatter (and, unfortunately, close enough to learn that you should keep your mouth shut at all times unless you want some dude's sweat flung into it.. *retch*). I can count on one hand the number of fights in which the two guys spoke to each other during the match. And that's not just because we've got some good refs out here, and maybe or some classier fighters. I've judged fighters from all over the planet, for M-1, Strikeforce, etc.

    Nearly all of them kept their mouths shut.

    Now don't misunderstand me here:

    A.) Daley was wrong, no doubt about it. It doesn't matter if the lilly-whitetan Koscheck was whispering sweet nothings about Daley giving up fighting to go pick cotton into his ear. Clocking someone after the bell is a criminal act. If you can't settle it in the cage, train harder.

    B.) I realize that animosity sells tickets. Ken Shamrock and Tito Ortiz are both masters at this. And they're both grown-ups in that once the fight is over, win or lose, it's time to move on. I don't think Koscheck has learned this lesson, or even the lesson that it really isn't personal.

    Regardless, I'm aggravated. If it weren't for the fact that Mauricio "Shogun" Rua beat Lyoto Machida down so hard last night that a dozen Karate schools went out of business, I'd probably be genuinely cranky.

    Instead, I'm simply looking forward to the humiliation Koscheck is going to suffer at the hands of GSP. I'm no fan of the French Canadian (or his floppy head), but nobody can dispute that he's a genuine class act, and that the sport needs one hundred and thirteen more fighters just like him.

    Josh Coatcheck, Paul Daley, you are our co-Douchebags of the Month.

  2. Ka-Bar is offline
    Ka-Bar's Avatar

    is a Godd*mn Federale!

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    Posted On:
    5/09/2010 11:40am

    supporting member
     Style: Clinchology: Judo & MT

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Excellent choice, both guys were completely classless in that fight. I thought the pre-fight banter was amusing and was optimistic that after the fight, they would bury the hatchet a la Serra-Hughes or Oritz-Shamrock. I guess I'm just naive.

    This is the second fight in a row Koscheck has faked getting hit by a knee. I don't care if your hair gets parted by Daley's knee or Daley's pinky toe poked you in the eye, you know the difference between that and actually getting kneed in the face. That's a dick move and the only reason he did it was because Daley broke free in the scramble and had some momentum on his side. Doesn't excuse Daley for throwing the knee, but the timeout sure iced Daley's momentum.

    I'm dying to know what Koscheck whispered in Daley's ear. I think a smart PR move by Daley would have been to shrug it off, accept the loss and then tell the media what Kos said during a post-fight interview. Combine that with faking the knee and Daley can hype his was into a pretty quick rematch. Now he's fucked. And deservedly so.

    Oh, and LOLlercoasters at "Daley-Kos"

    Rudy Reyes > Bear Grylls
  3. Robstafarian is offline
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    Senior Member

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    Posted On:
    5/09/2010 12:13pm


     Style: None

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    That was another in a series of great articles, but would you mind putting spoiler tags around the Rua/Machida comment?
    Quote Originally Posted by Snake Plissken View Post
    cuz FastPass on Indiana Jones was like being a ghetto rock star.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kiko
    But graffiti isn't a bowl of fruit...
    Quote Originally Posted by Robstafarian View Post
    Merely insulting you is not an ad hominem fallacy: them calling you an idiot would be ad hominem if they said "You are an idiot, therefore your argument is invalid."

    What is instead happening is thus:
    1. Your argument is bullshit.
    2. You keep repeating, and expanding upon, your argument.
    3. Therefore, you are an idiot.

    That isn't an ad hominem fallacy; that's inductive reasoning.
  4. marcusdbrutus is offline
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    Senior Member

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    Posted On:
    5/09/2010 12:15pm


     Style: MT, Judo & BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    GODDAMMIT I FORGOT THAT WAS LAST NIGHT. ****.
  5. Matt Phillips is offline
    Matt Phillips's Avatar

    NOTE TO SELF - MOAR GRAPPLE - GET A NORMAL HAIR CUT - REPEAT

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    Posted On:
    5/09/2010 12:51pm

    supporting member
     Style: Submission Grappling

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by marcusdbrutus View Post
    goddammit i forgot that was last night. ****.
    i know, it seems like it was at least thursday if not earlier. Drink less.
    Now darkness comes; you don't know if the whales are coming. - Royce Gracie


    KosherKickboxer has t3h r34l chi sao

    In De Janerio, in blackest night,
    Luta Livre flees the fight,
    Behold Maeda's sacred tights;
    Beware my power... Blue Lantern's light!
  6. Neo Sigma is offline

    Senior Member

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    Posted On:
    5/09/2010 12:53pm


     Style: Muay Thai

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    the Padouchesha Emperor
    So, so many pushups.
  7. hapkido_keith is offline
    hapkido_keith's Avatar

    Crappler Extraordinaire

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    Posted On:
    5/09/2010 1:34pm

    supporting member
     Style: Judo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Does this mean that he who controls the Douche, controls the universe?
  8. Robstafarian is offline
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    Posted On:
    5/09/2010 1:59pm


     Style: None

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by hapkido_keith View Post
    Does this mean that he who controls the Douche, controls the universe?
    Dana White would like to think so.
    Quote Originally Posted by Snake Plissken View Post
    cuz FastPass on Indiana Jones was like being a ghetto rock star.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kiko
    But graffiti isn't a bowl of fruit...
    Quote Originally Posted by Robstafarian View Post
    Merely insulting you is not an ad hominem fallacy: them calling you an idiot would be ad hominem if they said "You are an idiot, therefore your argument is invalid."

    What is instead happening is thus:
    1. Your argument is bullshit.
    2. You keep repeating, and expanding upon, your argument.
    3. Therefore, you are an idiot.

    That isn't an ad hominem fallacy; that's inductive reasoning.
  9. hapkido_keith is offline
    hapkido_keith's Avatar

    Crappler Extraordinaire

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    Posted On:
    5/09/2010 2:02pm

    supporting member
     Style: Judo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Robstafarian View Post
    Dana White would like to think so.
    So Dana White is the Padouchesha Emperor. Ahhh it all makes sense now. Plans within plans.
  10. Robstafarian is offline
    Robstafarian's Avatar

    Senior Member

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    Posted On:
    5/09/2010 2:20pm


     Style: None

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by hapkido_keith View Post
    So Dana White is the Padouchesha Emperor. Ahhh it all makes sense now. Plans within plans.
    That must mean that Scott Coker is the Kwisatz Haderach! "Dana White himself will be forced to deal with us!"
    Quote Originally Posted by Snake Plissken View Post
    cuz FastPass on Indiana Jones was like being a ghetto rock star.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kiko
    But graffiti isn't a bowl of fruit...
    Quote Originally Posted by Robstafarian View Post
    Merely insulting you is not an ad hominem fallacy: them calling you an idiot would be ad hominem if they said "You are an idiot, therefore your argument is invalid."

    What is instead happening is thus:
    1. Your argument is bullshit.
    2. You keep repeating, and expanding upon, your argument.
    3. Therefore, you are an idiot.

    That isn't an ad hominem fallacy; that's inductive reasoning.
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