Posted On:5/11/2010 2:46pm
Style: hard work work
Originally Posted by White Kimbo
this is the best thread that anyone has ever made.
This thread hits like a truckload of fat chicks.
Posted On:5/11/2010 4:08pm
#4: Ninja Turtle high five kick!
On second thought, I'm an Aikidoka. Do I have the flexibility for this?
Posted On:5/11/2010 5:47pm
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I am a living legend!
Posted On:5/11/2010 8:08pm
Style: Tatsumaki Senpuu Kyaku
Originally Posted by TheRuss
For great justice!
You thought for a second that your friend said, "NINJA TURTLE HIGH KICK!" but you quickly realized that your friend is not a fucking moron who can't read. No instead, you understood that he meant "NINJA TURTLE HOOK KICK HIGH FIVE!" Why would anybody say anything else? Only a fucking idiot would think that it was a high kick. I mean what the **** does that even mean? Oh well, luckily, nobody you know is that big of a fucking dipshit. I mean someone like that, you would wonder how they beat out the other 300 million sperm. Right?
Anyway, you and Peter step back and try for the ninja turtle hook kick high five. One of your favorite past times.
However upon raising your leg higher than your hips, your pants being the skinny jean type, pulls your other foot right out from under you. You forgot that you made a vow to never do this again. Aside from lowering your sperm count and effectively making you sterile, these pants also are worthless when it comes to kicking, which makes your previous fight a miracle considering you won.
You are on the ground staring up at the sky as your stew in your pool of embarrassment. The school nurse, Dr. Aven, comes running.
"ARE YOU OK?!" he says, because Dr. Aven is a man, he could never handle medical school and was barely able to pass his ADN. He doesn't really know much, which is why he's a school nurse. He's very sensitive about being a male school nurse though. Some people think he's gay.
You nod that you are ok. He pulls out his stethoscope and runs his hand up inside of your Bad Religion (ironic) shirt and begins to listen to your heartbeat. His brushes against your young chest stay just a little too long and, you're no doctor or anything, but you're pretty sure his fingers don't need to be touching the bare outskirts of your nipples.
"You seem fine." Dr. Aven says as he pats you on the shoulder, again, leaving his hand there just a split second too long, long enough to make you uncomfortable.
You nod again and quickly stand up. Peter is laughing hysterically, you know he totally set you up for this one. You know how much he hates skinny jeans and will take any measure he can to make anybody wearing them look stupid. Peter is actually a pretty reasonable and awesome guy, you openly assault him and his views but in truth you are envious of his confidence and his generally being right. You'd never tell him that though. Peter helps you up on your feet and you two go to try and solve the issue of getting your assignment done.
1. Get the list done.
2. Show peter the cloth.
3. Go to the bathroom.
4. Give the list to peter.
Posted On:5/11/2010 8:12pm
Style: MMA, Yoga
2. Show peter the cloth.
"Boxing is the art of hitting an opponent from the furthest distance away, exposing the least amount of your body while getting into position to punch with maximum leverage and not getting hit."
Posted On:5/11/2010 8:13pm
I do feel like I have to pee actually.
Posted On:5/11/2010 8:29pm
Style: yang taichi
2. Show him the cloth.
It's about time we got this Dashiell Hammett, Billy Chaka fail-fest out into open water.
Sumus extra manum tuam.
Posted On:5/12/2010 1:01am
Style: The power of the way
3. go to the bathroom
Posted On:5/12/2010 3:55am
Originally Posted by Sang
2. Show peter the cloth.
Peter being the only sleuth that you know, makes him a perfect friend for trying to figure out what the hell happened to your family.
You reach into your pocket and pull out the cloth. You open it up and it still reads, "Why?"
You hand it over to Peter as the both of you walk down the hallway.
"Ah.... so this must be the first clue of this great adventure. Let's see here. We'll start with some basic deduction. Your family, so far as I know, has no enemies. So we can rule out foul play for now. Occam's Razor says that maybe they all just left earlier than you. But your mom hasn't texted you back, so you have some reason for suspicion. We don't have a DNA lab, so figuring out who's blood this belongs to is out of the question. But, check your other pockets, maybe we can gather some other clues."
You reach into your pockets to find a ticket stub and a piece of paper. Both of them are from the day before yesterday. The ticket stub from a movie you saw and the piece of paper a notice from your Aikido Dojo. You hand them over to Peter.
"Well dear Jonathan. The movie ended at 7:20 and your Aikido class starts at 7:30. Your classes are an hour long so they had the opportunity to get into your pants during that hour. We need to find out who had access and who was there during your class. After school, let's head over to your dojo and find out who had been to your class that night. There's a sign in sheet there we can check."
Sometimes, you wonder if Peter isn't just some world class spy that was brought into your life like some cosmic joke.
You spend the rest of the morning taking your photos with Peter and get a B-. Instead of taking a picture of a "Flower in rest." Peter took a picture of a water spot on a window outside of the English room. His reasoning was that it kind of looked like a flower and the teacher is full of **** anyway, who cares?
Today was extended periods day so your art photography class took your entire morning. The bell rings to signal lunch. You and peter head out to the cafeteria. What do you do?
1. Buy a spicy chicken burger for lunch.
2. Take a nap.
3. Buy a burrito.
4. Buy a bowl of popcorn chicken.
Posted On:5/12/2010 4:36am
Burrito that **** up.
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