Thread: Fear and How to Control It
5/06/2010 7:39pm, #1
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
Fear and How to Control It
I remember when I trained with my neighbor a couple years back. I had recently told him of a fight I had almost been in, and how I was paralyzed with fear; rightly so (the kid had about 30 of his friends and had been know to pretty much **** kids up). He sent me this article about using the word, "but" to get the mind to start functioning when its stressed. It works pretty well and I still use it to this date, what techniques do you guys use to calm your nerves?
5/06/2010 7:45pm, #2
Please post the article, or at least summarise it. It will give a better context as to what you are on about.
5/06/2010 7:47pm, #3
- Join Date
- Dec 2007
Dunno how, but its quite easy for me to switch from fear to anger or calmness. I just pause for some time and tell myself not to be afraid.
I haven't heard anything about that "but" thing. Care to elaborate?
5/06/2010 7:58pm, #4
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
- Calgary, Alberta
Me, I spook easy but I don't have much of a temper. And I can see repeating a word or words might work as it could try to keep the brain active and not lock up your thought process.
5/06/2010 8:07pm, #5
5/06/2010 8:22pm, #6
Train and specially, spar.
Spar hard and often enough and you'll lose fear. That is one of the points of sparring*. And myself, when it got ugly and I was scared in a sd scene, as soon as I dropped back into stance and got ready for the speed freak I got calm and it was like watching a movie starring me. My brain kept talking but "I" wasn't talking and thinking. The verbal brain watched fug kick ass (and made comments from the chair so to speak, I mean I could have been eating popcorn while I watched it unfold, I mean watched the speed freak fold, that is).
*edit: It also might be a good idea to be in a "real" TMA where there's a Shihan level ma who knows Bushido at a deep level and also how to teach and also how to spar slow and soft, medium contact, and full on - that way you can get coached through the levels without freaking out. By deep level I mean Universal Kempo in Honolulu will teach you how to fight and be a brother in Kempo. But in some schools you will learn stand up, ground, locks, sword, and stick, and if you do stick with it, caligraphy, tea ceremony, and transcendental wisdom..... Like me! Send me $50 and I'll give you the power to Fear No Man!!!!!!!!!!!
Last edited by patfromlogan; 5/06/2010 8:29pm at ."Preparing mentally, the most important thing is, if you aren't doing it for the love of it, then don't do it." - Benny Urquidez
5/06/2010 8:48pm, #7
There's an interesting book by Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear, that I read when I was about 17. Fear is an instinct, an intuition, not a thought, if I recall the message correctly, something to do with the reptilian part of the brain reacting to a threat. We have learnt to override the instinct with thought but often in ways detrimental to survival, a memorable example is the woman who feels fear about her rapist when the lift door opens to reveal him, but due to a perceived social protocol that it would be rude to say, "I'll catch the next one", she gets in with him, he follows her and attacks her in her own apartment. Many victims of rape say they knew something was wrong before the attack took place and that they regret not listening to their intuition.
I have recommended that book to many female friends because they are more likely to adhere to their perception of social protocol, IMPO. However, I have taken the message and applied it to my life. When I feel fear, instead of thinking, "it's probably nothing", I become hyper vigilant. Many times I have felt the intuitive fear of a police speed trap being just around the corner and although I am only moderately speeding, will adjust to the speed limit. A majority of those times I have been right and those times where there wasn't a trap, there could have been, so either way I am right because I could have been wrong. I have been accused of being psychic because of this, but it is only ever my intuition, something I have honed through actually listening to myself, conceited bastard that I am.
If you take notice of your intuition, really listen to it, you will rarely be in a situation where fear dumps adrenaline through your system without notice. As said above, engaging your thought process is effective in overriding fear, just remember there is an evolutionary reason for fear and to reach the fight or flight response is its final call, if you have already thought of an exit strategy you won't have to fight. Knowing what to do both before and during the final call increases your survival rate considerably. Its one of the reasons I study martial arts.
5/06/2010 9:35pm, #8
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
Humans have spent 90% (or more) of our existence as the prey. We are amazingly slow, weak animals that rely on vigilance to survive. With our brains hardwired to fear and flee, it's no wonder that we have so many individuals in therapy, addicted to drugs, or suffering in silence. Martial arts are good for the psyche because they give us a sense of self protection that we innately lack as a species.
5/06/2010 9:52pm, #9
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
Heres the article
great stuff IMHO
I know about fight or flight, but honestly I guess I would agree with fug, when I was doing BJJ at Fred's I found myself not being as worried and more confident. I just think the only problem is that when I get caught off gaurd. . . well I forget all of it and just become a mess.
The but thing has worked for me in a couple confrontations, I felt myself saying "but i trained so I think I am prepared for this bitch" I just feel 50x better, I think that it relaxes me much more then breathing does.
5/06/2010 11:48pm, #10
I'm agreeing with fug. When you train in (effective and alive) martial arts you prepare yourself better for the adrenaline dump. I don't experience fear as acutely as others, first because I am usually hyper aware of a threat by that stage, and also because I have experienced being punched, kicked and thrown in the air by people who have trained to punch, kick and throw. That is confidence complimented by the intuitive fear, the knowledge that I have choices allows me to override my fear.
Believing you have no fear because you train is akin to arrogance. I'm not saying fug is arrogant because he has lost his fear, he has confidence in his ability thus negating fear altogether, fug is not (necessarily, in this case, sorry dude, I don't know you) arrogant. In fugs case, fear is no longer an overwhelming response of the reptilian brain, it is merely something that tells him it is time for his training to kick in. That is something to aspire to in your training.