Posted On:4/25/2010 4:24pm
Errr... "something, something" about an iron wheel melting...
Posted On:4/25/2010 5:00pm
Style: Cheng Man Ching Taijiquan
Yes. While the regular koan is meant to help you overcome secular mindset, the right wing fundamentalist koan is designed to make the heads of those already familiar with koans, implode.
Fear the monkey.
Kama Sutra blue belt.
Originally Posted by Emevas
I used to **** guys like you in prison.
Originally Posted by Rock Ape
Dude I kill people for a fucking living.
Posted On:4/26/2010 11:46am
Tokusan was studying Zen under Ryutan. One night he came to Ryutan and asked many questions. The teacher said: `The night is getting old. Why don't you retire?'
So Tukusan bowed and opened the screen to go out, observing: `It is very dark outside.'
Ryutan offered Tokusan a lighted candle to find his way. Just as Tokusan received it, Ryutan blew it out. At that moment the mind of Tokusan was opened.
`What have you attained?' asked Ryutan.
`From now on,' said Tokusan, `I will not doubt the teacher's words.'
The next day Ryutan told the monks at his lecture:
`I see one monk among you. His teeth are like the sword tree, his mouth is like the blood bowl. If you hit him hard with a big stick, he will not even so much as look back at you.
This is the story of the first Buddhist Orc.
Posted On:4/26/2010 11:55am
Originally Posted by sri hanuman
this is the story of the first buddhist orc.
for the horde!!!111!!!!
Last edited by catfishaggie; 4/26/2010 12:16pm at .
Posted On:4/26/2010 11:56am
Be one with the WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Posted On:4/28/2010 7:57am
Your daily right wing Buddhist koan.
A monk asked Chao-chou, "Has the dog Buddha nature or not?" Chao-chou said, "Mu."
From this we can clearly infer that all dogs go to hell.
Posted On:5/03/2010 2:07pm
Mokusen Hiki was living in a temple in the province of Tamba. One of his adherents complained of the stinginess of his wife.
Mokusen visited the adherent's wife and showed her his clenched fist before her face.
"What do you mean by that?" asked the surprised woman.
"Suppose my fist were always like that. What would you call it?" he asked.
"Deformed," replied the woman.
Then he opened his hand flat in her face and asked: "Suppose it were always like that. What then?"
"Another kind of deformity," said the wife.
"If you understand that much," finished Mokusen, "you are a good wife." Then he left.
And thus Mokusen helped cure the adherent's chronic masturbation.
Posted On:5/06/2010 10:48am
Your daily right wing fundamentalist koan:
Tanzen and Ekido were once travelling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was still falling. Coming around the bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection.
"Come on girl", said Tanzen at once. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud. Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer could restrain himself. "We monks don't go near females," he told Tanzen, "especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?"
"I left the girl there," said Tanzen. "Are you still carrying her?"
Realizing that he was indeed carrying the kicking and screaming girl, Ekido took her back to the village for a refund, and became enlightened.
Posted On:5/06/2010 11:04am
I am always mindful of lovely girls. Why wasn't he?
NOTE TO SELF - MOAR GRAPPLE - GET A NORMAL HAIR CUT - REPEAT
Posted On:5/06/2010 11:22am
Style: Submission Grappling
Two Monks were arguing about MMA.
The Sixth Patriarch happened to be passing by, and asked them "What is the last think to pass through Igor's mind before falling asleep?"
One said, "Mirko's face."
The other said, "Mirko's laugh."
"No." said the Sixth Patriarch "Not the face, not the laugh; The foot. And part of the shin."
Pausing he added:
The shin remains still
And neither does the Mind move
The brain is moving
Now darkness comes; you don't know if the whales are coming. - Royce Gracie
KosherKickboxer has t3h r34l chi sao
In De Janerio, in blackest night,
Luta Livre flees the fight,
Behold Maeda's sacred tights;
Beware my power... Blue Lantern's light!
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