4/21/2010 10:17am, #31
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
Well, that was before I started any MA training. I was the security guy at an elementary school, and this guy came and started acting crazy, talking to himself and kicking a football hard on the schools fence from the outside.
It was already noon and some classes were going home, so the gate was open, and I was trying to pay attention to all the kids and all the parents that were standing near the gate.
Suddenly this guy came to me and started pushing me hard, trying to get through me into the school. I pushed back as best as I could. This guy was around 40 years old and quite tall (not as me, though). So we pushed each other, moving a metet back and forth until he gave up and I managed to push him outside and I locked the gate behind him...
Before I could tell something on the radio, the guy opened his fly, pulled out his penis and waved it so all the kids in the yard could see.
I called the police that came 40 minutes later, after the guy was long gone.
Later some kids told me this guy tries to grab kids in the market and drag them to his car. I hope the police did something about him. I only saw him once in the city after that incident.
There was also another incident where an older brother of a girl (about 25 years old) came to the school to beat up a boy who was harrasing her. He managed to give some slaps to that boy until I pushed him aside and called the police. This time I locked the fucker inside the school, so the police arrived when he was still there, this time. They just talked to him for a minute and drove away. He didn't even try to get inside the school after that.
Well, now, after a mother entered a school with a gun and beat some kids with it (the clip fell off earlier, luckily), they are not letting parents enter the school freely like they used to. I'm also lucky I don't have to work in security ever again. The pay sucks.
4/21/2010 10:21am, #32
I worked in a restaurant with a crazy old pothead prep cook. He always had the best music. Anyway one day he's cutting up potatoes and chops the end of his finger off. Not a little bit, like 90% of the nail and a huge chunk of bone were lopped off.
He's hurt and pissed, so he throws the finger nugget across the room at me. I tried to catch it (they can re-attach you know), but ended up bobbling it into the fryer.
I told him I couldn't find it, bandaged him up and took him to the emergency clinic.
Now his pointer finger is short and the nail grows out at a funny angle.
Unrelated, I used to challenge people to drink whole bottles of Tabasco faster than me. I always won the bet. The very first time I did it I shat lava. Then I learned to eat ice cream right afterwards.
These are dumbass stories, right?
4/21/2010 10:27am, #33
I once had to make the unenviable, split-second decision to either stand between a gunman and my wife, or a gunman (same guy) and my sister. I couldn't do both, and he had an accomplice which made it unlikely that I'd do anything other than get shot and stabbed.
In the end the decision was easy and I put myself between the guy with the gun and my wife.
I have two other sisters, after all, but only one wife.
I don't think this makes me better than Omega: he'd simply have produced pan-pipes and soothed the robber dudes with his musical genius, probably rehabilitating them into the bargain.Where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence.
4/21/2010 10:27am, #34
- Join Date
- Sep 2006
I fended off an aggressive homeless guy with aikido on Thanksgiving day in Manhattan. After following/hassling my fiancee and me for bit, the bum grabbed my wrist -- I swear to God. I automatically tai sabaki-ed, rolled my wrist and gave him a push on his elbow as I turned (ikkyo for you aikido folks) and dropped his head down. I chose not to spin more and slam his head into the dumpster next to us.
I said "that's assault" when he was on knees and then walked away. He was jawing at us so I knew where he was and could have known if he was going to continue to follow. He didn't. Because my fiancee was with me at the time and he threatened her, I was pretty much prepared to beat his ass to a pulp.
The really weird part was that I hadn't done aikido in years and was doing BJJ at the time. Although, as I think about it, BJJ didn't give me any tools to deal with that situation. And, yet, aikido still sucks.
4/21/2010 10:35am, #35
I once kao'ed someone off the L train (a combination of deranged lumpen elements and Williamsburg hipsters) because he was obviously insane or at least extremely drug-addled and harassing two women who were sitting by the door. He even grabbed one of the women's hair and tugged on it. At the next stop I waited a couple of seconds for timing's sake, then ran from my seat and bumped him out the door. He was stunned for a second, put up his hands to fight, and then the doors closed and I waved as the train pulled away.
4/21/2010 10:35am, #36
I once opened a blister pack containing a new electronic device using only my bare hands, some channel locks and a razor knife.
4/21/2010 10:39am, #37
4/21/2010 10:56am, #38
I once beat a kitten in a fair fight. Almost.
Last edited by jnp; 4/21/2010 1:06pm at .
4/21/2010 11:11am, #39
- Join Date
- Feb 2008
I was the captain of the WTF- TKD team for my university, and at the university games I was fighting for Silver. Fighting a Real live Korean dude for the first time which kinda freaked me out.
They guy starts screaming like Bruce Lee off the start. Point deduction.
Me 0 Him -1
The guy kicks me in the nuts.
They guy blocks my kick by kicking me in the nuts. Point deduction
Me 0 Him -2
We trade kicks, he gets a point
Me 0 Him -1
Then kicks me in the nuts - another warning for DQ (I can hardly move by now)
Then fakes a nut kick, kicks my head - 2 - points
Me 0 Him +1
He wins. My coach goes ape asking why I didn't Judo throw him to get him back...my response thru the pain and tears 'Honour?'
Anyway the guy and 2 friends come to see me in the change room - I thought they were coming to castrate me and finish the job...but he came for ask for forgiveness, and to shake my hand. I just wanted the nut kicking to stop, so I shook it.
Three kicks to the gonads and they give me a bronze.
4/21/2010 11:45am, #40