So one of the mothers got mad at me

**Alucard619** · Posted On: 4/20/2010 11:01pm

Because her son got his ass kicked in the sparring class I was teaching. Nothing too serious but she's been bitching non-stop about it. Here's what happened:

Last week I taught the red belt sparring class. Being red belts the level of intensity is very high, as expected. So I began the class with a light warm up then right into footwork drills. Then partnered the kids up for drills in basic combination, countering, defense etc.

So for the last 20 minutes of class I had them spar. Now, the kid in question is a pain in the ass to teach. He's unfocused, obnoxious, lazy and he constantly talks. Several times I had to 'politely' remind him he needed to shut the **** up. So when it was his turn to spar he was partnered with this girl.

Now, this little girl is tough. She's a very aggressive fighter and easily spars against kids more experienced then her and can hold her own. The bad thing is she has a temper. When I saw them pair up I made a note of myself to remind her she needed to keep it controlled.

At this point I had the kids sit against the wall and called them up by pairs to fight. So they go up, bow and assume their stances. That's when I spoke.

"Alright guys I want to see good contact. Watch your control and remember, use the combination and footwork drills we practiced." so they began. Right away she started kicking the **** out this kid and he was barely fighting back. After 30 seconds when I saw he was mostly running and tapping her gently I stopped.

Me: "Dude what are you doing?"

Him: "I can't fight that hard against a girl! She's a lower rank then me."

Me: "Rank is never an issue and neither is her gender. Now stop running and fight or you're sitting down."

So they continue. Gradually he starts fighting back a little harder but the girl is still wailing on him pretty good. I encouraged him to fight back and use the techniques we practiced. Just when I was about to stop (one minute rounds) BAM! She caught with a turning kick right in the gut. Hit him so hard he fell down and started crying. So I went over to him. Helping him up I told him to relax and try and calm himself and steady his breathing. I then asked if he still wanted to go as there was 30 seconds left for their fight and he said yes.

So they resumed. He tried kicking her, she cut to the side and kicked him right against his elbow. Again, down he went so then I just stopped. I told the girl to sit back with the class while I helped him to the side. Now he was getting hysterical, taking off his helmet he flung it to the ground. I started getting a little frustrated.

Me: "Yo. If you are going to behave that way, do not come to this class. You are a red belt. Act like one."

Him: "But it really hurts and she wasn't supposed to kick so hard!"

Me: "This is red belt level sparring. The contact is harder then for the lower ranks. That is part of your training and we can't accommodate to you because it is too hard. Be strong man, can't give up so easily."

I said this to no avail because he threw a tantrum to which I told him to leave the class. Went back to teaching the other kids, ended class no big deal right?

Next day I was sitting in the front after teaching green belts and waiting for some food I ordered to be delivered. Phone rings, head master picks up. He then turned towards me (I was sitting right in front of his office).

"Hey Mr. Clark?"

"Yes?"

"It's that boys mother. The one you kicked out?"

"Yeah I remember. Something wrong?"

"She wants to talk about what happened that day."

Cursing under my breath I went into the next office and picked up the other line. Introduced myself and the conversation began. She accused me of singling her son out and not properly supervising him blah blah blah. After just listening to her I spoke.

"Thank you for taking the time to call so we could discuss this. I have to tell you that part of your son's incident stemmed from his not listening to my instructions. He was disruptive several times and I had to remind him numerous times to pay attention and focus. When he began to spar I was watching the whole time. When he first got hurt I asked if he wanted to stop to which he said no. The second time he was hurt I intervened and sat him aside. He became very hysterical and I told him that behavior is not tolerated in this school, especially at his belt level. It did not stop so I asked him to leave the class. Please understand it is not personal. At this school we do not tolerate rude or obnoxious behavior. For our students that are high ranking belts we especially emphasize discipline and control and humility. I wanted your son to understand that at his rank now a major part of his training will be humility and having the right mind set."

After that she more or less repeated the same dribble about my singling him out and being unfair. Then she said "I don't want him sparring if the kids are going to hit him so hard."

"Well I understand your concern but please realize that sparring is a crucial part of your martial arts training, especially as a red belt. It is very important that in order for him to grow fully in his Taekwondo promotion he spars frequently to grow accustomed to it."

Again she went on and on about the same bullshit. Finally she said she wished to speak back to the head master so I thanked her again and connected her to the other line. Now she's been calling complaining she doesn't want him in class period if he can get hurt like that again.

Did I handle this right? I was not out to get this kid hurt or make him squeal and cry. Don't understand why she blew up over something like this.

**Dak** · Posted On: 4/20/2010 11:12pm

HOw old is the child?

***Omega Supreme*** · Posted On: 4/20/2010 11:18pm

No, you should've told him to stop being a *****, suck it up or he can do push ups. I would've told her that maybe next time you should come to class and make sure I'm doing things right.

***Omega Supreme*** · Posted On: 4/20/2010 11:20pm

BTW we just had an inhouse tournament using old school TKD rules. I kid got hurt, I told her "What did we learn?"...laughed at her and got her back in the tournament.

**HereBeADragon** · Posted On: 4/20/2010 11:28pm

You handled it perfectly. Some people never are happy and there is always one of those mothers to deal with it seems. They want their kid to be able to defend themselves but do not want him or her to spar or my personal favorite learn techniques that they could hurt someone with. I had a mother like that in a kids class who complained about everything. Complained about the class times, cost of equipment, about the contact being to hard, etc, etc etc. You handled it right so don't worry to much about it and be ready for more of them because there always is one.

***Omega Supreme*** · Posted On: 4/20/2010 11:38pm

Originally Posted by HereBeADragon

You handled it perfectly. Some people never are happy and there is always one of those mothers to deal with it seems. They want their kid to be able to defend themselves but do not want him or her to spar or my personal favorite learn techniques that they could hurt someone with. I had a mother like that in a kids class who complained about everything. Complained about the class times, cost of equipment, about the contact being to hard, etc, etc etc. You handled it right so don't worry to much about it and be ready for more of them because there always is one.

BTW you two you do realize we have an instructors section in the blackbelt club rght?

Yes, kids are easy, the parents are the hard ones.

**HereBeADragon** · Posted On: 4/20/2010 11:46pm

Originally Posted by Omega the Merciless

BTW you two you do realize we have an instructors section in the blackbelt club rght?

Yes, kids are easy, the parents are the hard ones.

Actually no I don't I will be sure to check it out thou thanks.

**Alucard619** · Posted On: 4/20/2010 11:58pm

Originally Posted by Omega the Merciless

No, you should've told him to stop being a *****, suck it up or he can do push ups. I would've told her that maybe next time you should come to class and make sure I'm doing things right.

HA HA that was my first reaction when he started crying.

BTW you two you do realize we have an instructors section in the blackbelt club rght?

No I did not know that.

Originally Posted by Dak

HOw old is the child?

15

***Omega Supreme*** · Posted On: 4/21/2010 12:08am

15 year old kid? Damn, I would so fucking emasculate him in front of his peers it would've been embarrass him. I'd be like "Are you kidding me, I'm going to call your high school and put your ass in the year book as "the person in most need for hormone therapy". Now get you ass up there before you realize you don't have a date for homecoming.

**omoplatypus** · Posted On: 4/21/2010 12:12am

i had 2 similar incidents in my classes. one class, i have a boy who wants to be the next chuck lidell. he's dedicated and never misses classes, but sometimes he sits back on his laurels with kids his size and belt level. so, a few weeks ago, i put him with higher belt ranks in sparring. btw, he takes class with his dad. while sparring a bigger kid, he got the wind kicked out of him. he sat down and started crying, his dad told him to suck it up and not be a puss. i untied his chest protector and told him to walk laps around the room until he was calm.
his dad checked up on him before he put his gear back on and we were good. he learned a valuable lesson. 2 lessons actually. 1, don't be a *****; 2, don't be a lazy ass.

in another class, i had a boy who was contently punching to the face or kicking to the groin. he knew better, and he knew the proper techniques, but he got over excited in sparring and **** all over his training with a barrage of haymakers and nard shots.

one night i was sick of it, and gave him a stern warning at the beginning of class that i would not tolerate any **** from him. sure enough, the first thing he did was kick his opponent in the dick. i stopped the match and gave him 40 pushups. after that, he did it again. i gave him another 40 pushups. then i put on focus mits and a chest protector and told him to work techniques on me as i fed him mits or opened my chest for shots. he punched straight down the middle and hit me in the nose.

another 40 pushups. now he starts crying. i sit him out of class.

his mom threw a **** fit and pulled him out of the program. i haven't seen him since.

i will teach any child that wants to learn, but i really really wish i could put the parents through try outs before i let them be krotty moms.

edit: i just read that the kid was 15. the first child of mine was 13 and the second was 10. if either of them were 15 and acted like that in my class, i would have pulled their belts, chucked them a white belt and told them to line up with the 4 year olds the next week, and if they didn't like it, i'd get them some pampers and a pacifier out of my car for them.