Kid BJJ and Injuring to Degree

**Truth42** · Posted On: 4/12/2010 7:39pm

I can't speak directly as a parent (though I did do some co-parenting for nearly 3 years), but I think that the Johhny handled the situation well. It sounds as if he remained in control for the most part but I'm not sure if the punch was called for, it sounds a bit excessive since he was clearly in control of the other child.

My father was a school administrator for most of my childhood, and I'm sure he might have a different perspective on it. I'll ask him later and then maybe post on his feelings on the topic.

::edit::

Along with that if the girls who I was helping to co-parent handled themselves in the same way at that age, I'd have told them good for them.

**Larus marinus** · Posted On: 4/12/2010 7:44pm

Originally Posted by Ninnong

I respect the kid to honest. He did what had to be done and while the last punch was a little out of line he still showed a lot of self control. Of course, I've read Lord of the Flies way too many times so any time a kid stops short of stabbing someone with a spear I think they're doing a great job. Of course, I'm not a parent but if my kid got hit I'd probably be angry but if he was the one who was screwing around then he'd be in trouble.

Not a parent either - but my grandmother's reaction (I was brought up by my nan) if I came home from school with cuts, bruises or a torn shirt from fighting was "Did you hit him first?" and if so "Well, you shouldn't have done, should you? You're not getting any sympathy from me".

Still seems reasonable to me.

**HereBeADragon** · Posted On: 4/12/2010 7:48pm

As an instructor I'd say the kid wasnt over the line and showed decent restraint, probably also helped the other child learn a valuable lesson. BUT there is generally a zero tolerance policy about fighting in schools these days. So despite the situation most of the time this will result in a suspension. In some cases these days it even goes to expulsion and court. I'd advise the lad to in the future stick to the take down and leave out the punch for his sake.

***WhiteShark*** · Posted On: 4/12/2010 7:51pm

Originally Posted by Larus marinus

How long has it been like that in the US? I'm thinking back to my time at school (80s) and I remember doing unto others and having done unto me *far* worse than that in the playground - and the most that ever happened was that I (or whoever) got told off. I once got my head bounced off a wall three times (black eye, cut lip and bloody face) and the school never told my parents (just got told to hold a wet paper towel on it and go back to class), nor did they do anything to the other kid except send him to the headmaster for a shouting-at.

Times change, huh?

Since Columbine.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Columbi...chool_massacre

**Snake Plissken** · Posted On: 4/13/2010 7:36am

Originally Posted by Larus marinus

How long has it been like that in the US?

White Shark is 100% correct in this.

**Mtripp** · Posted On: 4/13/2010 7:57am

OK, I am NOT speaking about right/wrong, only what school policy is going to be here...

School Teachers are NOT going to attempt to deal with "He started it," or "He hit me first." Remember in the modern world of "Conflict Resolution" BOTH the bully and the bullied are EQUALLY at fault. They actually spend time discussing what it is about the bullied that sets the bully off!!!!!!

If two students are "fighting" then BOTH students are going to get suspended. Period. The insane part of this is that one of the kids doesn't care, the other is going to suffer grade loss because someone punched them in the face and they fought back.

However, EVERY school allows you to "hold on" so as not to get punched or hit. As such, closing the gap, clinching, and getting a solid control position are all valid and should be high on the list of training for our youth.

I wouldn't armlock, but if there was a subtle choke to apply (arm triangle,) as I was quietly speaking to the bully in his ear something like "Do this again and I will choke you out until you piss your pants in front of all the girls," can have some advantage.

The other key however is to avoid at all costs PUBLICLY humiliating the bully. Pinning him till the teachers pull you off lets him say "If the teacher hadn't pulled me off of you, I'd have kicked your ass." Whatever, who cares, but you MUST let him keep his tough guy rep.

Because if you take it, he WILL do whatever it takes to get it back, and that includes coming back to school with a gun.

I do not envy kids growing up today; but those are my thoughts based on running a school and youth programs for over 20 years.

**Kintanon** · Posted On: 4/13/2010 8:59am

Originally Posted by Snake Plissken

White Shark is 100% correct in this.

It was starting prior to that. In my little highschool it was starting as early as 96-97, but didn't get really bad until post columbine. In the larger highschools it was getting really repressive in 96-97 and they were just looking for an excuse by the time columbine happened. So things were trending in that direction anyways, Columbine just shoved things over the edge, made it all visible.

**tao.jonez** · Posted On: 4/13/2010 9:35am

Sucks that legislation and school policy won't allow a kid to hit back even when he is the victim of assault.

My son is taking Muay Thai and works with me on the heavy bag and mitts at home. I can't effectively work grappling with him on my own (or at least I don't know how to, given the size differential...) It is this story that makes me want to put him in a kids grappling class. I don't personally think Johnny over-reacted, but I think he would be perceived as having done so.

I also think that the rules favor the loser in such an encounter rather than considering who was actually at fault.