NOTE TO SELF - MOAR GRAPPLE - GET A NORMAL HAIR CUT - REPEAT
Posted On:4/16/2010 6:11am
Style: Novice Sub Grappler
Yesterday my boy told me that he wants to quit training for good. He said he hasn't enjoyed it for a long time, but didn't want me to be disappointed in him. He said he's tired of going to the gym and tired of getting beat up in sparring. Of course I told him it was fine, and that I supported his decision.
I am really upset that my kid felt pressured to get in the ring and get hit. That's just not right. No one should ever make their child do that sort of activity. To me that's like child abuse.
He has been training since he was 6 years old, and we have both sacrificed countless hours traveling, and countles dollars from the family budget to make it happen. I hope he got something out of it.
I also caught him and his punk friends smoking pot in the basement the same day.
Sometimes I hate parenting. I really do.:BangHead:
Now darkness comes; you don't know if the whales are coming. - Royce Gracie
KosherKickboxer has t3h r34l chi sao
In De Janerio, in blackest night,
Luta Livre flees the fight,
Behold Maeda's sacred tights;
Beware my power... Blue Lantern's light!
i keep tryin to spar, but nothin happens!
Posted On:4/16/2010 6:27am
Style: karate / bjj
how old is he?
have you talked to him about the concept and implications of burnout? how to see it, how to avoid it?
Posted On:4/16/2010 6:33am
He on the late side of 14. He talked about quitting about 6-7 months ago, and I gave him that speech. Apparently that was when he decided to keep climbing in the ring even though he didn't want to be there. :\
I also didn't corner him properly for his fight last spring and he could have been seriously hurt.
He got suspended from school for using the Thai clinch on a kid and kneeing him in the face.
Failing english too.
I hope you don't feel too bad. Myself, and no doubt loads of people on this site, will have had the experience of doing a martial art as a kid and ending up feeling like it's not for us...but look back at it a few years later and understand exactly what it was that we did get out of it. I'm sure you've done him a favour by getting him into it in the first place as in a few years if he is looking for something to fill any holes in his life, the martial arts will possibly be something he will understand can do that.
As for the pot thing I can only sympathise!
Posted On:4/16/2010 6:40am
Style: BJJ/ MMA/ MT
Have a smoke with him.
Posted On:4/16/2010 6:45am
Originally Posted by battlefields
Have a smoke with him.
Sorry, that's a dirty hippy move.
Keeping you safe from Mongolians
Posted On:4/16/2010 6:48am
Style: Sanda/Taijiquan *Hiatus*
Maybe you're just pushing him into competition too much. Perhaps see if he wants to just train once a week with no intention of preparing for or competing in fights. That way he'll keep his technique in shape and may decide to take it more seriously after he has his girls & beer fun.
Alternatively you could see if he wan't to try a different art? If he currently trains MT then perhaps he could see if a grappling art re-ignites his interest?
Choked out by Gene Lebell
Posted On:4/16/2010 6:52am
"Smoke some with him?"
Most stupid post I've ever read here, and that's saying something.
Now is the time you have a decision to make. Are you his parent or his pal?
The latter is the usual choice these days, doesn't seem to be working out so well.
If you are his parent, its time to lock his heels, and make some major changes before his choices in friends and activities gets any worse.
But I am aware that is a "right wing," "Dr. Laura" thing that might not sit will with many on this site....
....but in my never to be humble opinion....
Amazon.com: Stupid Things Parents Do To Mess Up Their Kids: Don't Have Them If You Won't Raise Them (9780060933791): Laura Schlessinger: Books
Your kid, your choice... good luck.
"Out of every hundred men, ten shouldn't even be there, eighty are just targets, nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle. Ah, but the one, one is a warrior, and he will bring the others back." -- Hericletus, circa 500 BC
Posted On:4/16/2010 7:03am
Let me clarify, as my solution may seem too simplistic. The allure of weed is in it's taboo. Take away the taboo by offering alternatives, such as smoking through a vaporizer with you. The rebellish behaviour is then not so rebel, plus you have provided a safer alternative to your sons health than smoking. It's not ideal by any stretch but as a Teenaged delinquent pot user this is how I will approach my kids when they do it.
I love how automatically my opinion was considered stupid, although I understand the response considering the military personnel on this board. Keep to your hard line if that's how you feel, as someone closer to that generation than many of you I offered an alternative that might possibly resonate more with ww's son. But I understand if that isn't your ethical standard, it was a suggestion.
Last edited by battlefields; 4/16/2010 7:13am at .
Posted On:4/16/2010 7:05am
That's the typical age to quit childhood hobbies. Around the same age I finally quit playing flute. After a few years started playing guitar without any guidance. I still loved music but I was sick of somebody telling me what to do with an instrument and assigning songs I didn't like at all as homework.
BTW. Since when has sane parenting been a case of political stance? Why the **** is looking after your kid and maintaining discipline somehow a right wing thing to do?
Curiosity killed the cat. But damn it had a blast.
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