Stupidest thing you ever tried in a fight

**jeffphansen77** · Posted On: 4/11/2010 11:44am

It was once revealed to me that part of this Goju kata I was learning was a hidden move, where you hold your opponent's head down by the hair while dropping a downward elbow onto the neck.

I found myself in an epic after-school brawl with a rare shorter opponent who suckerpunched me & I ended up grabbing his long hair & dropping repeated elbows that kept slipping right off either side of his neck (thankfully, in retrospect).

In those days I fancied myself as an iron-jawed reincarnation of Rocky Marciano or something & prided myself on taking a good shot. So in the same brawl this guy had me up against some poor mother's car at one point & was wailing on my ribs.

So I raised my arms up sideways, palms up, giving the audience an "is this all he's got" sorta gesture. No pain at the time but when I rolled over in bed the next morning my ribs made me very aware that this was a foolish move & that I would not be doing any MA workouts for a few days.

**Jcbal93** · Posted On: 4/11/2010 12:35pm

Used TKD in a fight in the 4th grade.
According to my dad... Pull guard and getting an armbar is one of the dumbest things I've ever done and I shouldn't do that.
Keeping my hands down while sparring...
Trying to win a fight in the 8th grade I unwillingly got into with only my left jab... I still won, but I realize it was stupid.

List goes on and on.

**Conde Koma** · Posted On: 4/11/2010 2:32pm

I learned one judo class that Sumi-Gaeshi doesn't work against people who outweigh you by two hundred pounds.

**pokeroo** · Posted On: 4/11/2010 4:06pm

When I was in school, lets see, hay-bailers, and the hockey punch (punching with the strong right while holding the opponent's coat with the left - This actually worked well. Judo that I learned from a book (so couldn't do the technique correctly).

**thatrugbyguy** · Posted On: 4/11/2010 4:26pm

Originally Posted by pokeroo

the hockey punch (punching with the strong right while holding the opponent's coat with the left - This actually worked well.

Provided it's done well, I don't really see anything particularly dumb about that.

**Alucard619** · Posted On: 4/11/2010 4:29pm

Beginning a sparring match with a jumping back kick which ended with my friend side stepping and kicking me in the head. Ah the days of being a no talented green belt.

**korean dragon** · Posted On: 4/11/2010 6:57pm

I've got two. First in elementary school ever fight I tried to do an pro-wrestling arm wringer into an ultimo dragon style cradle, then in a sparring match I threw a twist kick (yes that twist kick) from the clinch no less.

P.S afterwards I actually got good at landing the kick to throw people off, not from the clinch though.

**Ninnong** · Posted On: 4/11/2010 7:39pm

When I was 4-5 years old, I had to fight in a Tkd competition against a tall 6-8 year old. I charged him, he sidekicked. His point. This process repeated two more times. I lost.What can I say, I was a stubborn kid. I never won a Tkd match where I wasn't punching a kid's face repeatedly until I was about 8. Thank you puberty.

**Lysol** · Posted On: 4/11/2010 9:44pm

This requires a little back story: I was thirteen years old, shy and kind of nerdy, but I was tall and prety strong for my age. I didn't really get into fights because of that, until one day, I ran into some JMB members who tried to make an example out of me and my friend Billy.

JMB is a NEPA Juggalos "gang". No, I'm not making that up. Their name stands for "Juggalos Money Bitches", which is pretty much ripped off from a Philly gang who would wipe them out in a second if they were a threat to anyone under the age of 90. When they're not buying cigarettes for minors or tagging random buildings, they're loitering or staying out past curfiew. Anyways, me and Billy at the time were into pro wrestling. Like, to the point where we thought attempting a straight up Hardy Boyz style double attack would not be a completely stupid idea. We tried the one where Jeff (Me) jumped off of Matt's (Billy's) back (who is in the turtle position), and then, in mid air, grabbed his opponent's neck and then slammed him to the ground upon landing.

Anyone who knew their head from their asshole would have sent both of us to the ER for attempting something that impractical. Remember how I said earlier that this "gang" wasn't a threat to anyone? Yeah, it fucking worked, too. The guy I jumped at totally froze up and got slammed head first on the sidewalk. When I saw him out, I started screaming at the top of my lungs (You'd be pumped too), which sent the completely worthless "gang" running, as oppossed to beating on my defenseless, still turtled friend.

**Bobmomento** · Posted On: 4/11/2010 10:25pm

Originally Posted by Arskanator

I once had a squabble with a mate of mine, where I tried to roundhouse him to the head. I missed, but I used the momentum, spinned around like a ballerina and did another roundhouse kick, which missed too. Then, the stupid TKD kid that I was back then, I spinned again and did a third kick. He caught my leg and punched me in the dick.

Stupid TKD...

lol wow that was really funny to read. Roundhouse dick-counter sounds rough.