Stupidest thing you ever tried in a fight

**XXIV** · Posted On: 6/03/2010 12:47pm

Originally Posted by Lu Tze

No, not stupid.

Very smart, in fact.

Cool, I feel better now.

Considering I've only ever been in two fights (anything else has been won with confidence and posture), I guess I haven't done much that is stupid except showing too much mercy and getting sucker punched in one of them. I still won it after that though.

**tideliar** · Posted On: 6/03/2010 1:28pm

Originally Posted by BCS

The stupidest thing I ever did was probably in high school. Some punk decided he had to fight me, and provoked me until a scuffle broke out. So it was organised that the fight should resume in a more fitting place later, the school toilets...

Ours was "golf course, after school", the gong sau words of my high school. I never did it but there used to b some terrific rucks back there. once there was even an inter-school fight...my catholic all boys school vs. the local co-ed comprehensive (public school to our American cousins). The comprehensive lads were tough, but hadn't factored in that an all boys school means for a *very* competitive environment and bunch of very aggressive pent up little fuckers looking for an excuse to blow off steam. Police got called to that one.

**tao.jonez** · Posted On: 6/03/2010 2:23pm

Not quite a "stupidest thing" story, but the schoolyard fights reminded me of my High School days. I graduated high school in 1990...

We had race fights at my school. Black kids vs white kids. Very redneck area, and the white kids were almost always the instigators.

A moron to whom I am unfortunately related decided that he would pull a knife out and intimidate the biggest and most athletic of the black guys in the school. What a dipshit. The black guy actually snatched the door off of his locker (tore the metal hinges off), slapped the knife out of my cousins hand with it and beat the living hell out of him. Said cousin was carried off in an ambulance and hospitalized for over a week.

A few days after the fight I saw the black guy at his job. He had been expelled from school and was working in construction near my house. I walked up to him and said "you know that guy you put in the hospital was my cousin, right?" I thought he was going to kill me right there but I kept talking. "I really hope he learned a lesson, and I wanted you to know that just because he's in my family doesn't mean we believe the same things." No incident occurred between me and this guy. I was scared to speak to him, but it sure was satisfying to know that somebody had shut my dumbass cousin up for a while. And moreso to let the guy know that I wasn't on my cousin's wavelength despite our shared heritage.

**Lysol** · Posted On: 6/03/2010 3:03pm

Fucking spot on, tao.jonez

**Ningirsu** · Posted On: 6/03/2010 3:09pm

Originally Posted by tao.jonez

Not quite a "stupidest thing" story, but the schoolyard fights reminded me of my High School days. I graduated high school in 1990...

We had race fights at my school. Black kids vs white kids. Very redneck area, and the white kids were almost always the instigators.

A moron to whom I am unfortunately related decided that he would pull a knife out and intimidate the biggest and most athletic of the black guys in the school. What a dipshit. The black guy actually snatched the door off of his locker (tore the metal hinges off), slapped the knife out of my cousins hand with it and beat the living hell out of him. Said cousin was carried off in an ambulance and hospitalized for over a week.

A few days after the fight I saw the black guy at his job. He had been expelled from school and was working in construction near my house. I walked up to him and said "you know that guy you put in the hospital was my cousin, right?" I thought he was going to kill me right there but I kept talking. "I really hope he learned a lesson, and I wanted you to know that just because he's in my family doesn't mean we believe the same things." No incident occurred between me and this guy. I was scared to speak to him, but it sure was satisfying to know that somebody had shut my dumbass cousin up for a while. And moreso to let the guy know that I wasn't on my cousin's wavelength despite our shared heritage.

Good story! Good lesson too.

I wish I could do what the black guy did. Next time somebody pulls a knife on me I'd totally rip a door off and beat him to death with it, lol.

Helps being big I guess...sadly I am not. :(

**tideliar** · Posted On: 6/03/2010 5:29pm

I had a mate in uni, we'll call him Big Dave, who was a body builder and used *a lot* of 'roids. He had a bit of temper problem. One his roommates mentioned that he thought thisBig Dave's girlfriend was cute (she was, mad as a box of rabbits, but very cute), and Big Dave flipped out. Total 180 full on chicken oriental.

So the poor little roommate ran for his life and locked himself in his room. Big Dave just ran at the door...and didn't stop. He knocked the whole fucking door off it's hinges and out of the frame. Roommate just stated screaming in full falsetto panic, which brought Big Dave to his senses thankfully.

we used to laugh about that, later.

**sunsetsamurai** · Posted On: 6/03/2010 7:12pm

I remember I was like 8 and tried taking down my obese cousin with a double leg take down, I only hurt my back... but I played the "crazy card" I rolled around in pain then got up and ripped my shirt and said I was gonna kill him and he got scared and ran but man my back hurt like a mutha...

**Squerlli** · Posted On: 6/03/2010 7:35pm

Originally Posted by tideliar

I had a mate in uni, we'll call him Big Dave, who was a body builder and used *a lot* of 'roids. He had a bit of temper problem. One his roommates mentioned that he thought thisBig Dave's girlfriend was cute (she was, mad as a box of rabbits, but very cute), and Big Dave flipped out. Total 180 full on chicken oriental.

So the poor little roommate ran for his life and locked himself in his room. Big Dave just ran at the door...and didn't stop. He knocked the whole fucking door off it's hinges and out of the frame. Roommate just stated screaming in full falsetto panic, which brought Big Dave to his senses thankfully.

we used to laugh about that, later.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Omfg, it's like the fucking Hulk Charging! XD!!!

I seriously lol'd right now, my eyes are watering, thank you.

**Alucard619** · Posted On: 6/03/2010 7:50pm

Originally Posted by pokeroo

What would be stupid would be to just let them beat you up and not try to fight them off. I mean that's just a bad situation. Your other option of running might have been better, but that'll only work if your faster and have more endurance than every one of them.

I was already fighting one when the remaining three ran and intervened. Thankfully my buddy and three of my cousins came and turned the tables after about five minutes.

Walked away with swollen knuckles, a swollen cheek and right eye but otherwise ok.

**money** · Posted On: 6/03/2010 8:00pm

Stag party in New Orleans about 5 years ago to celebrate 2 of my friends getting married. 10 of us all drunk as **** in a bar on Bourbon street and my friend James thinks it'd be funny to give another friend a bit of a shove while he's at the urinal. This pisses my friend off and he takes off down the street. Me being the responsible drunk (wtf) chase him down and talk him into coming back to the bar.

We walk back in and up to James so he can apologize, and instead he dumps a class of water over my friends head. Friend takes off, I just roll my eyes, give James a big hug then knee him between the legs so hard he probably choked on his nuts.

I weigh 120 soaking wet, James was at least 240-250 at the time. Next thing I know he's picked me up over his head and I'm scrambling to hold on before he can throw me at something. I then see the look on the waitress's face (who we've all been flirting shamelessly with all night), start laughing, which starts James laughing and it just ends there.

They called me "Spider Monkey" for years and said if we ever got in a real fight they'd just throw me into the melee and to take care of the problem.