Certified Fitness Trainer
Posted On:8/01/2004 3:23pm
Style: Chemical Assistance
Numa ^ 3
Posted On:8/01/2004 3:32pm
There's this middle-aged guy who wears a grey sweatshit, purple shorts, socks that come about mid-shin, and strap sandles that comes into my gym just to use the chin-up bar. When he uses it, he kicks his legs like mad and looks like a goddamn fish with every single rep; with this pained expression on his face the entire time. When he's finished with that, he hangs around the drinking fountain and tries to talk to the gym employees about...something.
I can't do any of my sets around him; it's just painful watching him "workout".
You're a scrapper, I like that."-Ronin69
[This space for rent]
Posted On:8/01/2004 8:41pm
Style: Mixed Martial Arts
Hmm, does this qualify as a gym type?
These are the people who come into my work (mcdonalds, *sigh*) and order 5 big macs with extra big mac sauce, get 2 supersized french fries, eat the deep-fried fries with mayo, and then ask for a diet coke with their meal, because they "dont want to get fat".
Those kind of people drive me insane at work, it doesnt help that I live in a shitty town full of fat people, no, that doesnt help at all.
As well, those people generally goto the gym, 'reserve' the treadmills so they can 'speedwalk' for 30 minutes, then go home and eat Burger King, what the ****.
Posted On:8/05/2004 2:57pm
Ok, one is a type, the other was a specific person.
This one almost goes with stinky, but I think it's worse. Perfume Lady. They come in and pass by, usually in the middle of a good hard cardio workout, and leave a toxic cloud of lilac, rose petals and eucalyptus or something like that. God help you if they take the cardio machine next to yours. I would rather smell burning poop than the chemical asthma attack inducing toilet water they are doused in.
The other was a middle aged guy, in his mid to late 40's. He would get on a machine, eliptical usually, and go very hard. Soon he was sweating all over it, no big deal lots of people do. But soon he would start DROOLING, not a little random spit, but a streamer of drool from his gaping mouth to the machine below. I pointed it out to the head trainer who agreed to talk to him. Have not seen him in months, maybe he quit.
Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?
Posted On:9/06/2004 4:44pm
Eww that's gross haha...
Another story is about this guy who thinks he is a karate master, he kicks the bars on the cable machine and makes karate noises. Sometimes he will be over in the mirror throwing up one of his gloves and catching it with one hand in his karate stance. Not sure what is wrong with this guy, but he does this a lot. Well he also loads up the squat rack with like 800 pounds of plates, steps under it, lifts it about an inch, and holds it there, then lays it back down. I watched this and was like "wow, what a dumb way to get hurt." Well anyway, I guess he added another 2 plates, and the whole **** dropped, I'm talking 8 plates falling the hell off and banging against the mirror, breaking it. I felt ashamed for laughing so hard, but I definitely could not control myself. I mean, the karate **** he does alone throws my whole day off, because me and my partner can be doing something serious, he makes a high ya sound, and the weights just drop with laughter.
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Posted On:9/07/2004 9:21pm
Style: Yin Ten Do / Judo
Worst locker room nudist ass-blocking chode:
Occasionally you'll get the late 40s and early 50 big guys that just love to mill around weighing themselves, near the shower, or always taking too long in front of their locker doing whatever in the nude because you are busy limiting these sites to peripheral vision.
This guy, however is in a competely different catagory. He will as if on cue, drop something and take minutes to bending over to fucking pick the goddamn thing up. (You can go off and do something else, but he's still there.) Favorite target is blockading the passage into the showers.
Posted On:9/08/2004 5:08am
There is this guy in my gym who is wider than taller. He wears very short and tight shorts and tank top. He uses to walk around the gym speaking out loud with his buddies and laughing out loud. He also tends to look everywhere to see if somebody is watching him, I think he loves to be watched.
Usually, he lifts high weights screaming loud before he starts, something like "YES!!!", "CīMON!!!", "WHOOAAAA!!!". Usually before he goes for the squats. And after that, he walks from mirro to mirror to look himselef at.
He probably has the worst lifting technique at my gym.
Posted On:10/09/2005 11:43am
Style: One-armed flailing
My gym is on my school campus, which is also downtown, so I get some funny types as well. We have this one type, the Raquetball player, who walks past two floors of weight machines to get to the courts. Then he comes and bothers you if you've ever played him (that game is addictive). While doing reps nearby (the courts have clear back walls) he'll nag you incessantly until you come play a game with him. I just tell him to go away now, and he bugs somebody else.
Posted On:10/09/2005 12:18pm
oldman withers has perfected the ancient art of thread necromancy/necrophilia... but what the hell, i'll share a story.
this one's a long, not very funny 2 in 1 deal.
this old guy is always in the weight room standing there talking to everyone. he's worked out everyday for years and years, at different gyms, according to him. it's obvious he's in pretty good shape, but if any sensible person had been working out that long, they'd be massive... more on him in a minute.
some girl in the room asks me what i'm doing (i was doing drag curls at the time, a vince gironda specialty...) and i told her, so she's like, "oh, is that for your triceps?" when it is obvious to anyone who's ever taken 9th grade health that it is a bicep exercise. i politely say, "no, it's a bicep exercise." then old guy overhears this and decides to interject from across the room: "it's also for your forearms, because of the grip blablabla....etc.".
I expected the girl to sort of giggle and think that the guy was a dumbass, and return to her workout. but no, she upped the ante with this gem: "yeah, i dont work out my forearms. i do a lot of weed whacking for my job, so that keeps them in awesome shape". "oh, okay." i responded politely. she was fairly attractive, don't wanna insult her.
i finish my sets and the guy uses the EZ curl bar, but leaves the same weight on, and the girl asks for the bar. i believe at this point there were 2 45's on it. the guy asks "do you want me to keep the weight on?"... the girl was your average girl. very small. she responds to him with her first sensible sentence of the day: "hahaha look at his(my) arms and look at mine. do you really think i'm going to be using the same weight??" i laughed a bit, since it was a half-compliment and made the guy look stupid, and continued with my current exercise. the guy then says, "OOO like this??" and flexes for her in the strangest ways... he looked hilarious and the girl ignored him. i tell the girl to ignore him all the time, because he's full of **** and i've dealt with him before, and she says okay.
THEN the guy walks back in the room, and asks everyone in the room if they've seen that "commercial for the cleaning stuff where the guy has the big popeye arms". no one answers him and he says "Yeah!!! i want those!!"
i also know of 2 partners he's had who actually left the gym without telling him, im assuming because he's impossibly obnoxious.
that was a long setup toa shitty punchline, im sorry... just killing time
Posted On:10/09/2005 12:38pm
Style: Shito-ryu, Muay Thai
Maybe you guys don't have this problem but
Cell-Phone people, It doesn't seem to amtter what Machine I go to, there are always people on their cell phones, Talking loud and long about some of the dumbest topics I've ever heard. I may be the last person at my gym who actually goes to work-out....everyone else seems to think it's social hour.
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