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  1. King Sleepless is offline
    King Sleepless's Avatar

    I am a living legend!

    Join Date
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    Cuba
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    Posted On:
    3/22/2010 11:58pm

    supporting member
     Style: Tatsumaki Senpuu Kyaku

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    BREAKING NEWS: How to win amateur grappling/mma events

    After hearing from buddies about their recent adventures in various grappling/mma events, I've notice a disturbing trend on how to win. Here is my guide on winning. I sure wish I would've just done this instead of like, trying to win.

    Guide to winning grappling tournaments

    Step 1:

    Take up wrestling.

    Step 2:

    Go to tournament.

    Step 3:

    Keep pushing for single leg, until you get a single leg.

    Step 4:

    Hold on to dear life until time runs out.

    Step 5:

    Win via points.

    Easy, isn't it? It's just as easy as it sounds. Don't learn grappling techniques, just focus on a single leg, learn to pin someone well and how to circle and you will win. If you come up with someone else who is working on this technique, just do it marginally better than him.

    Guide on how to win Amateur MMA

    Step 1:

    Take up wrestling.

    Step 2:

    Get fight.

    Step 3:

    Keep pushing for single leg, until you get a single leg.

    Step 4:

    Hold onto dear life, circle, hold onto dear life until time runs out.

    Step 5:

    Win via decision.

    - Mark Coleman "How I became a UFC Champ" (C) 1997.

    See the nice thing about mma "fights" is that if you're circling or just kind of squirming, the ref can't say that you're not improving your position. You don't even have to throw a single punch!

    That'll be $10 please.

    paypal: sircnay@gmail.com
  2. Omega Supreme is offline

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    Posted On:
    3/23/2010 12:01am

    staff
     Style: Chinese Boxing

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Um yeah, it's called being "Tito Ortiz'ed"
  3. battlefields is offline
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    Australia, Land of Oz
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    Posted On:
    3/23/2010 12:03am

    forum leader
     Style: BJJ/ MMA/ MT

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I will never pay for common knowledge.
  4. King Sleepless is offline
    King Sleepless's Avatar

    I am a living legend!

    Join Date
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    Posted On:
    3/23/2010 12:03am

    supporting member
     Style: Tatsumaki Senpuu Kyaku

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Actually don't send me any money. Mark Coleman might sue me for plagiarizing him and Greg Jackson might get mad I'm giving his secrets away.
  5. Lindz is offline

    Senior Member

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    Posted On:
    3/23/2010 12:03am

    Join us... or die
     Style: Judo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Sirc View Post
    After hearing from buddies about their recent adventures in various grappling/mma events, I've notice a disturbing trend on how to win. Here is my guide on winnin g.I sure wish I would've just done this instead of like, trying to win.
    This is not how you use the conditional case.
  6. King Sleepless is offline
    King Sleepless's Avatar

    I am a living legend!

    Join Date
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    Cuba
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    Posted On:
    3/23/2010 12:05am

    supporting member
     Style: Tatsumaki Senpuu Kyaku

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Lindz View Post
    This is not how you use the conditional case.
    It's cool bro. I'm just trying to be like my peeps, you know. And like, using words and **** they can relates to.

    We cool, nig?
  7. RandomTriangle is offline

    Registered Member

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    Philly
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    Posted On:
    3/23/2010 12:08am


     Style: Judo-Brown

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    When you say amateur grappling events do you mean the beginner division of grappling events?
  8. King Sleepless is offline
    King Sleepless's Avatar

    I am a living legend!

    Join Date
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    Posted On:
    3/23/2010 12:12am

    supporting member
     Style: Tatsumaki Senpuu Kyaku

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by RandomTriangle View Post
    When you say amateur grappling events do you mean the beginner division of grappling events?
    Beginner to Int.

    Sorry, I was trying to use a single sweeping phrase to catch everything. But yeah.

    I've discovered that after blue belt, if you're still relying on Orteasing people who don't have this secret technique, then you're probably going to drop out of competition all together because all of a sudden, people are submitting you.

    BUT THEN

    I hear that when you get to black belt level, you go back to this strategy, only, now the both of you are REALLY good at this game again.
  9. Omega Supreme is offline

    Administrator

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    Posted On:
    3/23/2010 12:16am

    staff
     Style: Chinese Boxing

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I think they need to take away the point system in grappling tournaments.
  10. Cybren is offline

    Registered Member

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    Posted On:
    3/23/2010 12:20am


     Style: TKD, BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Now you just need a time machine to teach this to yourself before the DTT gong sau
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