Harsh Rigorous Training for Monkey MMA

**Nefron** · Posted On: 3/16/2010 10:35am

I was bitten by a monkey as a kid. I tried to take a picture with him but probably squeezed him a bit to hard.

I was also chewed by a lama.

**pauli** · Posted On: 3/16/2010 10:36am

that does explain a few things.

**Sri Hanuman** · Posted On: 3/16/2010 10:39am

You know, I always find it odd when people freak out after getting jumped or approached by a monkey. When they're not hostile, they're very gentle. Feeding them is almost like feeding a 2 year old with territorrial issues. Even when they bite (at least playfully, or to warn you to stop doing something,) it's no more than a gentle nip.

**pauli** · Posted On: 3/16/2010 10:41am

...until they decide to rip off your testicles and eat your face.

**Sri Hanuman** · Posted On: 3/16/2010 10:44am

Originally Posted by pauli

...until they decide to rip off your testicles and eat your face.

My experience with larger primates is non-existent. The small ones will mostly jump and bite you. That will leave heavy bruises, and potential breakage of skin. Worst case scenario, you have some 12-20 of these pissed off natives swarming and biting the **** out of you. If you are, however, somewhere that can lead to a nasty spill, that's what you really need to worry about.

You will walk away covered in cuts and bruises, and hep-c.

However, if there is anything to be learned from Travis, it's this.
For ****'s sake, don't give your monkey anti-depressants. It will backfire!!!

**Matt Phillips** · Posted On: 3/16/2010 10:45am

That's fucking horrible. Thanks for ruining my day :(

Allow me to return the favor:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srbGW3fy4kE

**pauli** · Posted On: 3/16/2010 10:46am

Originally Posted by brak

my mother told me, NEVER TRUST A MONKEY!

listen to brak.

**Sri Hanuman** · Posted On: 3/16/2010 6:33pm

As promised, here's what NOT to do when surrounded by monkeys.
Poor idiot gets swarmed at 0:50, when he manages to piss off the vast majority of the locals.

YouTube- Monkey Attack!

In that area (Phra Sam Yod, Lop Buri, if I am not mistaken,) the monkey police walk around with sticks. In local monkey culture, stick= pain + offense. The alpha male must have seen this idiot with a stick surrounded by his comrades, and decided to lead the charge.