'Home Invasion' drills - good idea or paranoia?

**Whacker** · Posted On: 3/20/2010 7:14pm

Originally Posted by maofas

I keep an uzi in my shower underneath the loofah and I've got a .357 hidden inside a box of Captain Crunch in the kitchen.

I've practiced my home invader speech in the mirror many times. "Sir, can't we please talk this out over a bowl of cereal?"

For the record, I take proper safety precautions by telling my kids that they should never eat sugary crap cereal.

Next TD is going to include a full dress rehearsal home-invasion of your place. Southpaw is going to lead the charge, because he's big and can absorb lots of bullets. Kishi's only goal is to run ahead of me screaming like a little girl to take any errant bullets/ninjer stars that make it past Southpaw. Simultaneously, I will behead you with my crappy dull-as-a-brick stainless steel katana (affectionally named "the Butterknife" by my asshole friends in college) while SifuJason stabs you with all 54 knives he has concealed on his person.

Then I'm going to have a delicious bowl of cereal.

**Lily** · Posted On: 3/20/2010 7:15pm

Originally Posted by Lu Tze

Oh hay I found a toy!

Boom!

Hilarity plus moar protein in ur cerealz.

**maofas** · Posted On: 3/20/2010 7:41pm

Originally Posted by sunsetsamurai

I live in a equestrian (horse) community, and a neighbor got a horse stolen 2days after x-mas, we don't own horses, we use the stables for my Father-in-laws drywall business, any way the guy just walked to our stable to look if we had taken his horse, I saw him and confronted him at the backyard I yelled and told him to "get the F*k out" I was juiced! he walked toward the house so kept telling him to get out, he kept walking closer to the back door so I closed it the door, ran and punched him in the back of the head, HE FINALLY GOT IT GET THE F*OUT he bolted for the for the street, I ran to call the cops, but went back to make sure he had left, nope he was still looking around for his horse! so I called 911 and got him in my front yard (there is a golf course across the street) 4 golfers watched me do an Ude Garami and ground and pound for all of 2 seconds and I broke my glasses, the serif was already there, the guy had reported the stolen horse and was investigating, he screamed at the guy and told him to wait by his truck, he was young and gave me the thumbs up and asked if I wanted to press charges... I didn't but they came back later to apologize, and I felt like a real BAD-A$$ when I said I could have killed you, next time just Knock and ask to look around, the sheriff told the guy almost $hit his pants. PAIR OF NEW GLASSES $100, LEGALLY KICKING YOUR NEIGHBORS A$$---PRICELESS. it was also pretty stupid I should have just called the cops and waited...lmao... instead of trying to be so GUNG HO...

You should not be allowed to own a gun. Actually, you shouldn't even be allowed to own a sling-shot.

**Larus marinus** · Posted On: 3/20/2010 7:50pm

Originally Posted by Whacker

@ searcher66071

I don't think you are a "nutter", I just think some of your self-described behaviors are "extreme". You are also correct, there most certainly are other folks that I've read about who are real nutters when it comes to weaponry, survivalism, and the like. I seem to have this memory of guys who own thousands of acres of land, have several "bunkers" built around their property, and have hundreds of guns buried in sched. 40 PVC tubing all over their property so "the man" can't come steal it. People who discuss how much ammo to have "on hand" for when "the day comes", and the like.

The race war, you mean? Yeah, I've encountered the type online.

I'm a little concerned that Searcher leaves himself and his home/family unprotected when in the shower. Has he considered investing in a Lexan shower screen and hiding a pistol in an excavated cavity behind a purposefully-loose tile in the bathroom wall?

Joking of course - but I did once read a comment on Usenet from someone who claimed to have covered the underside of his bathtub with kevlar, the idea being that he could make his kids lie down in the bath when 'they' came for him and started shooting up his house...

I'd go one further. I'd reinforce all my soft furnishings and doors with kevlar too, to serve as convenient cover for the inevitable gun battle to come (I got this idea from watching Terminator - The Sarah Connor Chronicles).

**searcher66071** · Posted On: 3/20/2010 8:56pm

Funny, but my father is oneof those hiding the PVC pipe guys. Plus I have an aunt and 2 uncles who are just like him. They make me nervous when I amaround them. I have run across guys and women at handgun and rifle training that are to the extreme as well. One husband and wife team I know have land back off the road that is stockpiled with food, arms, and ammo. They are also stocked up in other survival items and they try to get more people to be like them. They have been reading books like Patriots a little to much. If you want to see the type I am talking about go to http://www.survivalblog.com/ and check them out.

**Lily** · Posted On: 3/20/2010 9:05pm

I was home alone last night and watching Supernatural. I started wondering what I'd do if I had one of those movie moments where a zombie slammed itself in front of my window and I started hearing scratching sounds on the roof.

Is there any oven/flame-based defense I could use?

**CharlieWoopAss2** · Posted On: 3/20/2010 9:10pm

Originally Posted by Lily

I was home alone last night and watching Supernatural. I started wondering what I'd do if I had one of those movie moments where a zombie slammed itself in front of my window and I started hearing scratching sounds on the roof.

Is there any oven/flame-based defense I could use?

Two words: Bill Murray

**misanthropic777** · Posted On: 3/20/2010 11:51pm

Originally Posted by searcher66071

No elaborate troll. I am being 100% with you. I don't really consider it paranoia, as much as, being prepared.

I doubt he's a troll - I do something similar (plan for how to hanlde various BG's entering/already inside the house, weapons easily accessible, etc.). He and I are also far from the only people I know who prepare like this that I wouldn't consider paranoid gun nuts.

Snake - cold I get the name of that product? I caught some of the damned neighborhood kids trying to climb my wall last week and I'd like to discourage that *g*.

**Whathappened** · Posted On: 3/21/2010 1:40am

Genuine home defence question:
Better to ambush or stalk/investigate unexpected noise/stranger/etc?

**Nicko1** · Posted On: 3/21/2010 2:10am

Originally Posted by searcher66071

We keep access to firearms in each room, just in case. And I try to keep one on my person, as a precaution.

OK, I'll grant that you are probably as prepared as you can possibly be for a home invasion.

Can't help thinking though, in any area where a home invasion is likely, a burglary is more likely. Some criminal breaks into your home when you're not there, they're now going to be an exceptionally heavily armed criminal.

I suppose that a rejoinder to this would be that, "Yeah, but if no one's home, there's no threat to my - and my family's - safety. They can be as heavily armed as they like, they can't shoot me if I'm not there." And if you don't feel responsible when some innocent person gets held up - or worse - with what used to be your unsecured gun, then I suppose there's nothing I can say to you.

Regardless, if I lived in an area that required me to be armed at all times in order to feel safe, my chosen method of home defence would be to find a good real estate agent.