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Registered Member
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Posted On:
4/05/2010 11:28pm
Style: MMA--
Probably around the same time I learn how worthless having a ground game is and stick to training to fight ninjas with chainsaws. Which coincidentally will be around the time I learn an organic way to add four inches to my penis while learning how to become a millionaire off of going on the internet for two hours a week and also learning that everything about my current religion is wrong and that I should follow this week's sacred cow for hire.
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See my tongue. SEE IT!
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- Out West, USA
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Posted On:
4/06/2010 12:03am -
Registered Member
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Posted On:
4/06/2010 12:19am -
Moderator
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- Australia, Land of Oz
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Posted On:
4/06/2010 12:24am--
A few years ago I had surgery to reset my jaw after I had broken it. While I was waiting in this room of chairs with this small old Asian fellow at the other end. We were both trying to read the outrageously out of date womens magazines when this booming voice wafted down this long corridor, steadily getting closer.
It became apparent this voice was talking to a nurse as he was trying to explain his reason for being there. Before he was even in sight he had admitted to this nurse that he had picked up a slapper from the local pub and become infected with some sort of STD. I have NEVER been so interested in the only book available, the bible, as he was ushered into the waiting room.
The nurse was trying to be polite and get away, but he had that persistancy that meant she knew if she walked away, he was following to finish the story. He explained, in great and terrifying detail, how the infection had got so bad that he found Domestos in the laundry cupboard and rubbed it on his dick. Now, for those who don't know, Domestos is a hospital grade disinfectant, one which should be diluted by a capful, about 50mls, to a few litres of water. With a smile in his voice, he said, "I used it because it said it would kill 99% of germs."
The nurse broke free, leaving a captive audience of me and this Asian dude. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him straining to get my attention, when that failed, he turned his efforts to the other guy. Stupidly, the other guy gave him attention and I heard the whole story, in even more detail.
He said they were going to operate on it with just a local anaesthetic. He said **** that, I want to be unconscious. I can't blame him.
This was, in fact, worse than the indescribable pain I felt after the operation on my jaw. My mind won't let me relive that horrifying pain, but certain phrases, such as Uncle Skippys "DON'T PUT PESTICIDES ON YOUR PENIS", take me to a dark place indeed. -
See my tongue. SEE IT!
Achievements:- Join Date
- Jul 2007
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- Out West, USA
- Posts
- 2,305
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Posted On:
4/06/2010 12:50am -
See my tongue. SEE IT!
Achievements:- Join Date
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- Out West, USA
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Posted On:
4/06/2010 12:52am -
Ninja Fruit
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Awards:
Posted On:
4/08/2010 9:30am
Style: JKD, Jiu Jitsu--
How do they put Dran-O into your bunghole? Do they cripple you first, or tear your tendins [sic]?
Also isn't kimchi made with Dran-O? Therefore Hapkidists can actually eat Dran-O with no negative side effects. Like iocane powder and the Dread Pirate Roberts...
It's all coming together now. Hapkido does work but only if you live hapkido. -
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Posted On:
4/08/2010 1:23pm -
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Posted On:
4/08/2010 3:05pm



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Moderator
Posted On:
4/05/2010 11:16pm
Style: BJJ/ MMA/ MT