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Thread: Hapkido vs bjj

  1. #101
    battlefields's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Which of course will be deemed as wrong. When will you learn Lysol?

  2. #102

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Probably around the same time I learn how worthless having a ground game is and stick to training to fight ninjas with chainsaws. Which coincidentally will be around the time I learn an organic way to add four inches to my penis while learning how to become a millionaire off of going on the internet for two hours a week and also learning that everything about my current religion is wrong and that I should follow this week's sacred cow for hire.

  3. #103
    Uncle Skippy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lysol View Post
    I learn an organic way to add four inches to my penis
    I've already told you.

    STOP PUTTING PESTICIDES ON YOUR PENIS!!

    Some people just don't want to listen...

    Hmmm... penis mention in a BJJ thread. I never would've thunk.

  4. #104

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    And it's not even my first penis mention in this thread. Whodathunkit?

  5. #105
    battlefields's Avatar
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    A few years ago I had surgery to reset my jaw after I had broken it. While I was waiting in this room of chairs with this small old Asian fellow at the other end. We were both trying to read the outrageously out of date womens magazines when this booming voice wafted down this long corridor, steadily getting closer.

    It became apparent this voice was talking to a nurse as he was trying to explain his reason for being there. Before he was even in sight he had admitted to this nurse that he had picked up a slapper from the local pub and become infected with some sort of STD. I have NEVER been so interested in the only book available, the bible, as he was ushered into the waiting room.

    The nurse was trying to be polite and get away, but he had that persistancy that meant she knew if she walked away, he was following to finish the story. He explained, in great and terrifying detail, how the infection had got so bad that he found Domestos in the laundry cupboard and rubbed it on his dick. Now, for those who don't know, Domestos is a hospital grade disinfectant, one which should be diluted by a capful, about 50mls, to a few litres of water. With a smile in his voice, he said, "I used it because it said it would kill 99% of germs."

    The nurse broke free, leaving a captive audience of me and this Asian dude. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him straining to get my attention, when that failed, he turned his efforts to the other guy. Stupidly, the other guy gave him attention and I heard the whole story, in even more detail.

    He said they were going to operate on it with just a local anaesthetic. He said **** that, I want to be unconscious. I can't blame him.

    This was, in fact, worse than the indescribable pain I felt after the operation on my jaw. My mind won't let me relive that horrifying pain, but certain phrases, such as Uncle Skippys "DON'T PUT PESTICIDES ON YOUR PENIS", take me to a dark place indeed.

  6. #106
    Uncle Skippy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lysol View Post
    And it's not even my first penis mention in this thread. Whodathunkit?
    Something about the BJJ brings out the penis references.

    Penis* penis = new Penis;
    int l = penis->length();

    Penis reference?

  7. #107
    Uncle Skippy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by battlefields View Post
    operation on my jaw. My mind won't let me relive that horrifying pain, but certain phrases, such as Uncle Skippys "DON'T PUT PESTICIDES ON YOUR PENIS", take me to a dark place indeed.
    I'll skip the 'Draino in the bunghole' mention then.

    I hear that is how Hapkido guys increase their crippling power.

  8. #108
    tao.jonez's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Skippy View Post
    I'll skip the 'Draino in the bunghole' mention then.

    I hear that is how Hapkido guys increase their crippling power.
    How do they put Dran-O into your bunghole? Do they cripple you first, or tear your tendins [sic]?

    Also isn't kimchi made with Dran-O? Therefore Hapkidists can actually eat Dran-O with no negative side effects. Like iocane powder and the Dread Pirate Roberts...

    It's all coming together now. Hapkido does work but only if you live hapkido.

  9. #109

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Heh, you guys said bunghole:


  10. #110

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Epic.

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