Phrost's Mailbag: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW GWEAT JUSTICE
When Al Gore invented email, he made Planet Earth infinitely cooler than any cap-and-trade program ever could. You mean I don't have to pay postage to correspond with people? And they receive it more-or-less instantly? Holy jujubees, that's awesome.
We completely take email for granted, and that's a shame. Could you imagine how much more insight we'd have about the thoughts of America's founding fathers if Jefferson and Adams had gone back and forth over email with the disagreements that established the modern "left/right" debate?
The idea of seeing smilies in TJ's writing notwithstanding, email simply rules. Unfortunately, there's a law of nature which states that the degree to which something rules is directly proportional to the amount of people who'll do their best to crap all over it for personal, ideological, or political gain.
Consequently, it's important that when we, as upstanding and responsible citizens of the Intertubes encounter people who do their best to ruin it for everyone, we push back. This is how you keep awesome things awesome.
In that spirit, here's the response to an email I received today (original email chain follows, email addresses removed to protect the mostly-not-at-all-innocent:
Reply to Cody Peck (ARGLEBARGLE@ARGLE.BARG) RE:FW: The (scientific) death of Jesus
What is this idiotic swill and why is my Mixed Martial Arts website copied on it?
Really, a chain forwarded email? Is this 1997?
The next time I get one of these from Mr. Peck, I'm signing up everyone who's copied on it for a Cambodian Goat Porn newsletter (I'm sure there's one out there somewhere; it's the Internet after all...). That includes you, "Pastor Dave Samples", and you "Cheryl St Clair". I'll bet you're all great people who just love getting loads of emails; what's one more?
Huh? You don't want to be subscribed to disgusting garbage like that? Now you understand how I feel about being sent unsolicited, mind-numbing, pseudoscientific, digital proselytizing.
By looking at the list of other names copied here, I can assume most of you know Cody in "real life". Perhaps you can relay to Mister Peck that emailing nonsense like this to a website that primarily involves irreverent people who beat the crap out of each other for fun, is at the very least, poorly considered.
Normally I wouldn't respond to something like this; as the director of one of the largest Martial Arts related sites on the Internet (if not the largest), I'm used to getting a ton of worthless email. This inbox has seen everything from legal threats because we shut down schools run by frauds and sex offenders, to death threats from people who actually believe they are Ninjas.
But over the past year or so, I've gotten a total of 6 emails like this from Seņor Peck, along with one asking where he could find underground fighting events in Southern California (yes, like in that horrible Jet Li/Tom Arnold movie).
I don't know if the rest of the people copied on this email enjoy seeing "FW:FW:FW: STUPID CRAP", along with 13 suspicious .dat files attached. But personally, I'd rather copulate with the appliance from the "Will it Blend" videos. Consequently I feel it's my sworn duty as self-appointed Policeman of the Internet, to club The Peckster over the head with a grammatical, (not literal for those of you slow on the uptake) nightstick in order to teach him some basic netiquette and stop this reign of terror. I do this on behalf of the rest of you, the timid masses who sheepishly delete the emails without the nerve to ever speak up for yourselves. No need to thank me.
Of course, I'm sure a few of you actually appreciate being spammed when Pecky-chan hits "forward to everyone I've ever emailed" upon receiving something Christianity-related. But do you realize that at the end of the chain of viral email forwards like this, is a dastardly Spammer, stroking his waxed moustache and cackling with glee as he now has more valid addresses to attack? How do you think they get their addresses in the first place?
And given the kinds of emails I've received from his ilk, I don't think Spammy McSpammerton is big on the whole Jesus thing. Do you really want to help make a guy like that rich?
So what's it going to be? South Asian grass-munchers in provocative poses, or removing me from this list and possibly (hopefully) expressing to Cody that it's stupid to mass-forward crap like your "send" button has Tourette's?
Yours in Christ,
Neal "Phrost" Fletcher
www.Bullshido.net - The #1 General Martial Arts Website
2nd Kings - 2:23-25
On Mon, Feb 1, 2010 at 9:59 AM, Cody Peck <ARGLEBARGLE@ARGLE.BARG> wrote:
--- On Sun, 1/31/10, Sottile7 <ARGLEBARGLE@ARGLE.BARG> wrote:
From: Sottile7 <ARGLEBARGLE@ARGLE.BARG>
Subject: Fw: The (scientific) death of Jesus
Date: Sunday, January 31, 2010, 6:15 PM
----- Original Message -----
From: Linda Hanner
To: Barb Hanner
Sent: Sunday, January 31, 2010 2:15 PM
Subject: The (scientific) death of Jesus
Subject: FW: The (scientific) death of Jesus
For the next 60 seconds, set aside what ever you're doing and take this opportunity! Let's see if satan can stop this.
THE (SCIENTIFIC) DEATH OF JESUS
At the age of 33, Jesus was condemned to the death penalty.
At the time crucifixion was the "worst" death. Only the worst criminals condemned to be crucified. Yet it was even more dreadful for Jesus, unlike other criminals condemned to death by crucifixtion Jesus was to be nailed to the cross by His hands and feet.
Each nail was 6 to 8 inches long.
The nails were driven into His wrist. Not into His palms as is commonly portrayed. There's a tendon in the wrist that extends to the shoulder. The Roman guards knew that when the nails were being hammered into the wrist that tendon would tare and brake, forcing Jesus to use His back muscles to support himself so that He could breath.
Both of His feet were nailed together.. Thus He was forced to support Himself on the single nail that impaled His feet to the cross. Jesus could not support himself with His legs because of the pain so He was forced to alternate between arching His back then using his legs just to continue to breath. Imagine the struggle, the pain, the suffering, the courage.
Jesus endured this reality for over 3 hours.
Yes, over 3 hours! Can you imagine this kind of suffering? A few minutes before He died, Jesus stopped bleeding..
He was simply pouring water from his wounds.
From common images we see wounds to His hands and feet and even the spear wound to His side. But do we realize His wounds were actually made in his body. A hammer driving large nails through the wrist, the feet overlapped and an even large nail hammered through the arches, then a Roman guard piercing His side with a spear. But before the nails and the spear Jesus was whipped and beaten. The whipping was so severe that it tore the flesh from His body. The beating so horrific that His face was torn and his beard wripped from His face. The crown of thorns cut deeply into His scalp. Most men would not have survived this torture.
He had no more blood to bleed out, only water poured from His wounds.
The human adult body contains about 3.5 litres (just less than a gallon) of blood.
Jesus poured all 3.5 litres of his blood; He had three nails hammered into his members; a crown of thorns on his head and, beyond that, a Roman soldier who stabbed a spear into his chest.
All these without mentioning the humiliation He passed after carrying his own cross for almost 2 kilometres, while the crowd spat in his face and threw stones (the cross was almost 30 kg of weight, only for its higher part, where his hands were nailed).
Jesus had to endure this experience, so that you can have free access to God.
So that your sins could be "washed" away. All of them, with no exception! Don't ignore this situation. JESUS CHRIST DIED FOR YOU! For you, who now read this e-mail. Do not believe that He only died for others (those who go to church or for pastors, bishops, etc).
Accept the reality, the truth that JESUS IS THE ONLY SALVATION FOR THE WORLD.
God has plans for you, show all your friends what He experienced to save you. Now think about this! May God bless your life!
60 seconds with God...
For the next 60 seconds, set aside what you're doing and take this opportunity! Let's see if satan can stop this.
All you have to do is:
1. Simply pray for the person who sent this message to you: Lord, you know the life of _________. I ask You to bless him/her in all things and make him/her prosperous. Take care of his/her family, his/her health, his/her work and all his/her future plans. Lead him/her not into temptation, but deliver him/her from evil. In Jesus' name, amen.
2.Then, send this message to 10 people.
3.10 people will pray for you and you will make that many people pray to God for other people.
4. Take a moment to appreciate the power of God in your life, for doing what pleases Him.
If you are not ashamed to do this, please, follow Jesus' instructions. He said (Matthew 10:32 & 33): "Everyone therefore who acknowledges me before others, I also will acknowledge before my Father in heaven; but whosoever denies me before others, I also will deny before my Father in heaven".
If you believe, send this message... But send it only if you believe in Christ Jesus is your Lord and Savior.
Yes, I love God. He is my source of life and my saviour. He keeps me alive day and night.
Without Him, I am nothing, but with Him "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me". Philippians 4:13.
This is the simple proof. If you love God and youbelieve and trust in salvation through Christ Jesus, send this to all those you love.
Importing contacts has never been easier.
Bring your friends over to Yahoo! Mail today!
Total Comments 26
2/01/2010 12:10pm, #2
Goat porn is too good for them. Sign them up for Nambla and KKK's maliling list, along with some right wing extremist newsletters. In addition to spamming the **** out of their mailbox, you will get them on FBI's watch list.
2/01/2010 12:13pm, #3
I'm just sending a shot of common sense across Cody's bow, not trying to keep these people from getting on airplanes.
2/01/2010 12:51pm, #4
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
2/01/2010 1:02pm, #5
Now imagine if you got (vastly under)paid to do this!
2/01/2010 1:20pm, #6
I will bring this up at my prayer breakfast, tomorrow.
2/01/2010 1:23pm, #7
You sir are my god-damned hero for that reply.I do not aspire to be great, or even good, I hope to suck a little less then last class.
2/01/2010 2:35pm, #8"and he (elisha) went up from thence unto bethel: And as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.  and he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.  and he went from thence to mount carmel, and from thence he returned to samaria."
2/01/2010 2:37pm, #9
I was hoping someone would notice that.
Best bible verse EVER.
2/01/2010 2:42pm, #10