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Adventures in MMA Fandom....
You ever have one of those nights where you are just surrounded by sandal clad cretins? Not at Bullshido mind you but actually in real life? I felt like a dipstick Groundhog Day was occurring but there was no groundhog, Bill Murray or beautiful co-star. Well technically there was, but she was one of the sandal clad cretins.
Ok, Enough waxing poetic and trying to come up with a proper Intro. The best way to describe this is that you always pray you don't run into that "Tapout/Affiction Shirt Guy" at a bar while watching a UFC fight. Of course my country behind did just that at a San Bernardino sports bar/Club for UFC 124. It was bad enough that Josh Kosheck had smack-talked his way to another title shot with Kosheck and everyone knew he was going to get pummeled. I decided in some type of protest to go watch it at a bar rather than pay $55 at my house.
So I walk up and order a pitcher of shock-top for myself and get to drinking. I'm waiting for my buddy to get there to walk me into the VIP room and am watching the pre-lims. Shock-Top is good stuff...very good stuff. Some youngster taps me on the shoulder and asks me if I like shock-top. Sure do. Guy smirks and pulls up a chair and starts up conversation. I am trying to ignore the tapout shirt and give him a chance. We start talking careers.
"Hey dude, what do you do?"
"I'm a VP somewhere"
"What do you do?"
"I fight mma?"
"Uhm...you mean you train or you fight?"
"What team are you with?"
"I'm between teams right now"
"of course you are?"
My buddy D can't get there soon enough. Now, as anyone who has had runins with "Tapout/Affliction Shirt Guy" knows the 2 worse things that can happen is that the dude gets liquor in him or a hot chick walks up. My buddy D arrives...
"Drinks on me J...and your boy can have one too!"
As if the Gods themselves are spitting in my drink, the most beautiful girl I've seen in about 10 minutes walks up and sits down. Tapout/Affliction Shirt Guy starts putting the moves on the girl. She's ignoring him and talking to me. The story of my life. I am a 300lb love blocker. I notice this guy ordered some drink called a skittle. A skittle? really? Whatever, it's a redbull drink with vodka, guaranteed to have you laid out in an alley somewhere. He buys the girl the same drink, might as well since he didn't pay for his. The girl gives it to me and now Tapout/Affliction Shirt Guy must balance things out.
"Hey man ain't she out of your age bracket"
"Son, why don't...uhm...look...you see this wedding ring? not interested, you two kids have fun."
I walk off to the other side of the bar to finish my pitcher, settle up and go in the VIP room. The girl follows me and so does my Tapout clad friend. Now, the girl tells him, he said stop following him and get lost. Now I'm pissed. It seems little missy is a drama queen and this dude has taken the bait. Now he's shouting at me and the girl. My buddy and security show up and he's still screaming.
"I wish a mutha f#cka would!"
I suggest that he try to be the first Tapout/Affliction Shirt Guy in history to actually just shut up, sit down and enjoy his fruity ass drink. I like to do my duty for the youngsters about to get beat down by security when I can. It's like a public service announcement. All I got from him was a puzzled look so I go off to VIP.
I'm trying to understand this whole thing. All I wanted to do is gorge myself in chicken wings and a pitcher of booze and watch how stupid Dana White will feel about letting GSP pound on Kosheck again. I had no idea it was going to be THAT bad of a beating, but I think the result surprised no one. Now I know that I am not old enough to be ignored and too old to be allowed to chat up cute lil fight fans. Guys wearing MMA apparel and Fight/Train MMA can be very loud, but mostly harmless.
As an appendix I offer an example of the "Tapout/Affliction Shirt Guy"
Last edited by RaiderFunk; 2/24/2011 12:58pm at .