Ohio Bullies. A friend needs help dealing with a stalker.

**JingMerchant!** · Posted On: 10/26/2009 1:44pm

Well, more like a friend of a friend really...

I apologise if there are any details missing, I heard the story hours ago and my memory isn't great when I'm tired and I'm not sure how many details I should be giving out at this stage. I'll post up more infomation as and when I get it.

Basically, a friend of mine has a friend in Ohio. This Ohio friend is a girl who has managed to aquire and E-stalker. Recently this stalker managed to trace this girl to her home state of Ohio.

Naturally, she was scared shitless by this and called the police. The local sheriff has been watching her house, but they've told her there isn't really much they can do untill he has invaded her personal space on no less than three occasions (WTF??? Does this mean she has to be assaulted on three occasions before they'll do anything??? This must be one of the details I'm vague on...)

She has a big ass dog and a baseball bat, but she's seriously considering buying a gun.

Now, what I would like is some infomation regarding her legal options.
What else can she do, within ohio state law, to help herself in this situation?

If she goes ahead and buys a gun, what would be a suitable choice and most importantly, where can she get good firearms training for it?

A decent alarm system?

Your thoughts would be well appreciated guys.

Thanks.

Teh Jing.

**Snake Plissken** · Posted On: 10/26/2009 1:56pm

Until a better authority comes along, I will suggest her getting a shotgun. The sound of a shotgun being ratcheted is usually going to be enough to scare away most and if not, it has a better margin of error by spraying shot in a wider diameter.

The kick is a bitch but most gun shops have firearm training classes and some have them specifically for females.

Tell her to get an alarm system, as well.. Not only does it help serve as a first notice system and may scare off some burglers not fully committed to the crime, but it will also possibly score her a homeowner's insurance discount.

**Sri Hanuman** · Posted On: 10/26/2009 2:16pm

Well, sounds like she covered all her major basics.

1. contact law enforcement
2. big-ass dog
3. weapons

Other than that, I doubt there is anything left. Consider a restraining order, and pack pepper spray, tear gas, and mace. Whichever hurts more. Carry one in a purse, keep one in the car in an easy to reach place other than glove box.

Most importantly, NEVER give out your info (name or phone can both be traced as I found out recently... my name brings up about 10 notable results where you can see my picture) online unless you are prepared to come face to face with internet psychos.

I wish your friend well. Be safe.

**Cy Q. Faunce** · Posted On: 10/26/2009 2:23pm

IANAL, but depending on the specifics, she could get a restraining order:

http://www.womenslaw.org/laws_state_...&state_code=OH

A shotgun is okay. So are some of the better pistols (9mm Parabellum at a minimum, decent quality). There are many tradeoffs to consider, but the important thing to find out is which one she is more comfortable with. There are indoor ranges where she can rent a number of different kinds of gun and figure out what works for her. Such ranges often offer firearms training as well. If you can say what city she lives in, I can give you more specifics.

**TheMightyMcClaw** · Posted On: 10/26/2009 2:54pm

Tell her to upgrade her home security system from a baseball bat to a baseball bat with nails driven through it.
If this is still insufficient, she can also set the bat on fire.

**Tom .C** · Posted On: 10/26/2009 3:16pm

Make sure everyone knows as much as possible about the stalker. Make sure the stalker knows that everyone knows. Never respond to unknown phone numbers and don't respond to any communication from the creep...ever. CCW with .40 semi auto and the more time you spend with friends will limit access to you while your alone.

**BackFistMonkey** · Posted On: 10/26/2009 3:16pm

Originally Posted by TheMightyMcClaw

Tell her to upgrade her home security system from a baseball bat to a baseball bat with nails driven through it.
If this is still insufficient, she can also set the bat on fire.

I just moved to Ohio but I am pretty sure the local and state law enforcement frown upon adding ways to deal death and injury to sporting equipment .

Dear OP ,

It sounds like your lady friend has the right idea and has taken the correct steps so far . Remind her to keep her home and vehicle locked . I will see what the more settled and permanent residents have to say about this situation .

... and if she can afford it buy an alarm system .

**ronin497** · Posted On: 10/26/2009 5:17pm

The shotgun's no good to you if you don't have it with you.

You can't beat it for home defense, but a person is far more vulnerable when they are in transit IMO. CCW with a caliber she's comfortable shooting, pepper spray, whatever.

Here's some more advice you can pass along:

1. Vary the routine. Stagger leaving for work and getting home by as much as 30 minutes to an hour. Always assume the stalker has time on his side, and will patiently start building a profile of your daily routine. He'll then make the decision to approach based off what he learns here. Minimize that as much as possible.

2. Shred Everything. Our trash says more about us than we realize. Shredder is an absolute must. If she's dealing with a truly obsessed stalker, he's going to want to learn everything he can about all aspects of her life. Somewhere in his mind lies a fantasy of knowing his target so well that she falls in love with him on the spot when he finally confronts her. Look at the guy that drove across the country to meet Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson at the Dancing with the Stars event. He was convinced they were going to be together.

3. Keep your head on a swivel. Assume your stalker is going to be watching you, and is eventually going to confront you. If he does this covertly, you might never know when he's done it to inform the police. If something feels wrong, it probably is.

4. Keep a journal of every time something didn't add up. Documentation can be your friend in a case like this. If something wasn't where it was, write it down in the journal. If she thinks she saw him out in public, make a note and write it down.

There's a difference between being applying smart counter-surveillance techniques, and turning into a raving paranoiac, shouting at every homeless person and census taker you come across.

I think keeping strong lines of communication with her family and friends will go a long towards retaining her sanity and not cross that "line" where she's emptying a clip every time the house creaks or a Girl Scout wants to sell her a box of Tagalongs.

Best of luck to your friend. These sorts of situations are horrible.

**crawford** · Posted On: 10/26/2009 5:37pm

I am not licensed in Ohio, however the report that the sheriff requires three contacts seems really strange to me. It would appear to me that some Ohio statutes would apply:

2903.211 Menacing by stalking.

(A)(1) No person by engaging in a pattern of conduct shall knowingly cause another person to believe that the offender will cause physical harm to the other person or cause mental distress to the other person.
(2) No person, through the use of any electronic method of remotely transferring information, including, but not limited to, any computer, computer network, computer program, or computer system, shall post a message with purpose to urge or incite another to commit a violation of division (A)(1) of this section.

2917.21 Telecommunications harassment.

(A) No person shall knowingly make or cause to be made a telecommunication, or knowingly permit a telecommunication to be made from a telecommunications device under the person’s control, to another, if the caller does any of the following:
(1) Fails to identify the caller to the recipient of the telecommunication and makes the telecommunication with purpose to harass or abuse any person at the premises to which the telecommunication is made, whether or not actual communication takes place between the caller and a recipient;
(2) Describes, suggests, requests, or proposes that the caller, the recipient of the telecommunication, or any other person engage in sexual activity, and the recipient or another person at the premises to which the telecommunication is made has requested, in a previous telecommunication or in the immediate telecommunication, that the caller not make a telecommunication to the recipient or to the premises to which the telecommunication is made;
(3) During the telecommunication, violates section 2903.21 of the Revised Code;
(4) Knowingly states to the recipient of the telecommunication that the caller intends to cause damage to or destroy public or private property, and the recipient, any member of the recipient’s family, or any other person who resides at the premises to which the telecommunication is made owns, leases, resides, or works in, will at the time of the destruction or damaging be near or in, has the responsibility of protecting, or insures the property that will be destroyed or damaged;
etc...

you can check it out here:
http://codes.ohio.gov/orc/2917

anyway, here's what else I'd do: contact the State's Attorney first thing in the morning. If I can't make any headway there, contact the office of victims rights, or the county victims rights advocate.

assuming that the victim of this behavior has contact with large office buildings, hospitals, or a college campus, I would also notify the security department of those entities.

and, document, document, document every contact she has, be it in person, online, via telephone, or through a third party.

**Beorn** · Posted On: 10/26/2009 5:57pm

Jing, where in Ohio does she live? There are lot of different municipal areas and if she lives in one of the urban/suburban areas her reaction should be different than if she lives in one of the very rural areas. if your not comfortable posting what city she lives in, PM me. Also if she is in college there are several options the university can help with.

concealed carry is a good option, but there are a ton of places where she cannot carry it and would have to leave it in her car, like if she attends classes at a university. Pepper spray and tasers are better, IMO, because they can be carried everywhere. Shotgun for the house. Tell her to always go out with a group of friends. And most importantly, link the guys facebook here and we can all make fun of him.