what they say-what it means

**tgace** · Posted On: 10/25/2009 3:40am

Due to the popularity of “reality television” shows like Cops, Wildest Police Videos, Stories of the Highway Patrol and the rest, some people my not understand the “language of the street”.

In this language there are many phrases and customs that the unitiated may have difficulty understanding. Some viewers may become confused by the actions of officers when the person they are dealing with seems to sound perfectly reasonable.

Therefore, as a public service I am providing this easy to understand guide. With it the viewer can have a better understanding of what exactly the police officer and his “customer” are saying to each other. Be reassured that in most cases each party knows exactly what the other is saying:

When he/she says—He/she really means:

That’s not mine!—That’s mine.

I don’t have my ID on me.—Im going to lie about my identity.

I didn’t do anything!—I did it.

I swear to God!—I’m about to lie.

That’s not my purse—I have drugs in my purse.

I don’t know his name/I know him as…—I’m about to lie about my friends identity because he probably has a warrant.

I swear on my child’s life!—I’m about to lie.

I’m just driving around—I just came from a drug house.

I don’t have my drivers license on me— My drivers license is suspended or revoked. The judge took my license away from me.

I’m not going to lie to you officer!—I’m about to lie.

I did what? What did you say?— Im trying to think up a lie.

These aren’t my pants!—That’s my dope in the pocket.

“As far as I know” (usually in response to a question about warrants, licenses, presence of illegal items)— I don’t know if the warrant was issued yet. I can’t remember when the protective order expires. I’m unsure if the suspension took effect yet.

I swear on my mothers grave!—I’m about to lie.

I paid for that!—I stole that.

I just got paid/ I won it at the casino/I just sold my car.—That’s my drug sales money.

Why are you hasslin’ me?— Why do I keep getting caught?

This is bullshit!—I hate getting caught.

You only stopped me because I’m (insert group here)!—Yes, I rolled through that stop sign in my tinted up hoop-de with the one headlight out, the door lock punched and a cloud of marijuana smoke emitting from the windows.

I’m just driving around—I just came from the scene of a crime.

I only had 2 or 3 beers—I’m drunk.

I was driving to the store when my old lady called and said that her friend needed to be picked up from the bar, but first I had to stop for some gas so I was going to the station over there when I saw my buddy…..—Im a “verbal diarrhea” liar.

There are people killing each other out there and you guys are arresting me?—I did it.

This car? This car belongs to my friends girl…I don’t know her name— This car is a “crack rental”.

I think I’m having a heart attack! (while in a cell)— I want to spend the night in a hospital bed instead of on a concrete slab with a roll of toilet paper for a pillow.

You didn’t read me my rights!—I’m clueless about criminal procedure and really think that this means my arrest is invalid and you have to let me go.

**Diesel_tke** · Posted On: 10/25/2009 7:50am

LOL! Nice list. Looks pretty accurate to me.

**Robstafarian** · Posted On: 10/25/2009 11:31am

Please define "crack rental" and explain why failure to read someone their "Miranda rights" doesn't constitute an invalid arrest.

**vigilus** · Posted On: 10/25/2009 11:34am

Tgace this made my week man, fucking awesome.

**Diesel_tke** · Posted On: 10/25/2009 11:51am

Originally Posted by Robstafarian

Please define "crack rental" and explain why failure to read someone their "Miranda rights" doesn't constitute an invalid arrest.

I understand that you are just popping off, however, he didn't say anything about "failing" to read someone their rights.

Just because you don't read someone their rights in the first 20 seconds, doesn't mean the arrest is invalid.

**Robstafarian** · Posted On: 10/25/2009 12:02pm

Originally Posted by diesel_tke

I understand that you are just popping off, however, he didn't say anything about "failing" to read someone their rights.

Just because you don't read someone their rights in the first 20 seconds, doesn't mean the arrest is invalid.

The past tense in the phrase "You didn't read me my rights" led me to assume that the speaker was a suspect detained following an arrest (I don't know the lingo well enough to know if this phase is properly called "holding").

Regardless, at what point does it become too late if you haven't already read the subject his/her rights?

**Diesel_tke** · Posted On: 10/25/2009 12:42pm

Originally Posted by Robstafarian

The past tense in the phrase "You didn't read me my rights" led me to assume that the speaker was a suspect detained following an arrest (I don't know the lingo well enough to know if this phase is properly called "holding").

Regardless, at what point does it become too late if you haven't already read the subject his/her rights?

Miranda rights are read to a person before you interrogate them or ask them questions about the crime. If you don't read them to someone and then interrogate them, the information you get may be dismissed.

However, if the suspect volunteers information on his own, without you interrogating them, then you can use it.

If you have no intentions of interrogating someone, because say you have enough evidence already, then you can arrest them without having to read them their miranda rights.

This whole discussion is basically what the OP is talking about. In America everyone watches Cops so much that they think they know everything there is to know about law and how it relates to arrest. This has happened to the point that American's think that you have to have you Miranda rights read to you, otherwise the arrest will be thrown out in court. This is the problem with watching T.V. and making assumptions about what you see and then believing those assumptions rather than doing simple research on the laws that govern you.

The easiest way to have you rights violated, is to no educate yourself enough to know where they begin and end.

**Robstafarian** · Posted On: 10/25/2009 1:33pm

Thanks for the clarification.

I posted the question because the OP made me realize that, despite the fact that I don't watch Cops (or anything else like it, unless you want to count CSI—which I don't take seriously), I share the common misconception regarding Miranda rights. I also considered that the discussion might be furthered by such an illustration.

**permahudef** · Posted On: 10/25/2009 1:39pm

Thanks, tgace. Well done. Funny stuff, especially the crack rental part.

**Sam Browning** · Posted On: 10/25/2009 1:42pm

Originally Posted by Robstafarian

Please define "crack rental" and explain why failure to read someone their "Miranda rights" doesn't constitute an invalid arrest.

A "crack" or "crackhead rental" is when Joe gives Jim the keys to his car in exchange for a bag or rock. The second variation is when the keys are given so that Jim can specifically pick up some drugs for Joe. Sometimes being a crackhead, Jim doesn't give the ride, or keys, back so Joe calls the police and claims his ride was "stolen" whereas its really an unauthorized use of a motor vehicle.