funniest fight you got in to / or almost got into
a few weeks ago I was in walmart on my way home from work and i was on my way to the pet food isle. walking past the jewerly counter i saw a girl that worked there that i hadnt seen since she went to the night shift. she was looking at earings with her friend. i stopped for a sec to say howdy and that since i saw her last i had dep'd into the army and was leaving in november. she said cool and that her fiance finally left for boot. then all the sudden i feel a very week push from behind. it was so weak i thought it was a friend being funny. so i turned around and it was some short fat dude. i was confused and told him i was sorry i dont remember him and i hope he was offended that i cant remember. this confused him and he turned from me to the other girl and said that he woke up and she was gone. then i was liked groan this is a domestic squabble that i got caught in. i felt a little dumb then i realized that my response probably diffused a fight from happening between me and him. the couple went off in diff directions. i asked my friend if she was ok etc...on my way out the guy apologized and i explained to him that its not a good idea to start a fight with some guy you dont know and showed him my knife and my boxcutter i had on me from work. and said you dont know what a guy has as a weapon or what they know.
I almost got a serious handbagging from this scene kid moron who goes to my school. You know the type, flourescent clothes, piercings, psuedo - american accent. He had just attended his first kickboxing class last night and though he was t3h d34dly. After a bit of inquiring I discovered that his class was in fact a cardio kickboxing class aimed at middle aged women. Needless to say I went back to where he was plying his adoring crowd with tales of srs buisness & announced that he went to said cardio kickboxing class. He immedietly minced up to me and attemped to push me. I sweeped him onto his arse into a americana. After a bit of mocking and play humping I got up and walked off like a badass. Oh yeah.
Well, one time this guy named Toby decided he wanted to fight me. It wasn't an immediate threat, as he lives in Australia, but it quickly became a pain in my ass because he repeated his intention several thousand times. Eventually I got a new MSN account, and shortly thereafter Toby stopped posting here.
I once had a guy want to fight me and several other security guards outside of the arena we were working at. He claimed to be a "fresstyle martial artist" to which we all laughed heartedly at him. He then claimed he was going to come back and shoot us.
Two months later he was arrested for shooting his friend to death here in town. He was convicted of 2nd degree murder.
We thought it was funny as hell.
2 days ago some door-to-door salesman was trying to sell me insulation.
As per usual they talk at a million miles an hour and don't draw a breath. I stood there and listened to his 5 minute speech and then he says, "Is this something you would be interested in?" So I told him no and then he freaks out and starts whinging that I let him go thru his whole speech. I said yeah whatever, now go away.
As he's leaving he decides to loudly say to me, "yeah, nice", so I said to him, "What the **** did you just say?" He says, "oh I didn't say nothing" so I said to him "like **** you didn't mate."
By this time he's halfway across the yard on his way to harass the neighbours. I thought to myself, **** you brother, I ain't gonna take your ****, so I decided to go out the front and confront the ****. I said to him again, "what the **** did you say to me cockwit?" and he says, "Well it wasn't very nice of you to let me go through my whole speech." I said to him that if you didn't have such advanced breathing skills learned from sucking your boyfriends cock, and actually took a breath and let me get a word in, I would have stopped you. He then looked at the ground and says, oh sorry and skulks up off the street.
Not sure I would have reacted as much to this prick if he wasn't like the 5th person to come trying to sell me **** at my house in the last few weeks. Salespeople please note, if I wanted to buy your **** I would come to you..
I got hit over the head with a steel bollard by a 4 foot "Vertically Challenged" 35 year old female whom i had refused entry into a nightclub because she wouldnt leave her red tricycle outside.....
Ive never turned my back on midgets again......
In middle school, there was a kid who would pick on me from time to time, being as I was the shortest and skinniest kid in class. So one day I decided I'd had it and confronted him in front of his locker. There was a bench behind me, and I quickly got table-topped.
Then we both started laughing and walked away. (Thank God; that kid could've killed me.)
Proving the old saying, "Position before submission."
Don't you have any "NO SOLICITORS" signs in Australia? It's easier.
Originally Posted by Erevan
D&D Dungeon Master tried to waste me with his "Settlers of Catan" box as a weapon after I said Drizzt do Urden was a fag.
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