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  1. Dsimon3387 is offline

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    Posted On:
    10/01/2009 4:59pm

    Join us... or die
     

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    Teachers: things students say that make us want too........

    This is an equal opportunities bitch fest so feel free if you help instruct in any capacity to join in. I will start:

    a) "I want learn this stuff to get physically fit, defend myself, and for the spiritual side of martial arts."

    comment: Lovely pat response please feel free to check your list to see if you may have missed one. How about an honest response as to why YOU as an INDIVIDUAL want to learn martial arts? I won't judge you if you want to kick ass.

    b) "Wow you are over an hour away from me" (after they call you of course).

    comment: aww poor baby! I used to sleep in the bus station in Philadelphia because the last bus left for Baltimore and Sensei ran over a few minutes (you didn't leave early...) and I used to drive back to San Francisco from Dublin so tired I would have to dip Skoal and stick a blade in my leg to stay awake..... You have it so tough.

    c) I have a (an)_________________ who studies______________ he can ___________ and he once__________________.

    comment: and I have an uncle in Canarsie who ate Raisin Bran in a wife beater while me and dad waited for him so we could visit Grandma.

    d) "I don't know if I can make class because____________________

    comment: Yes you do... you can't make class. And you know what? our relationship is such that I cannot really help you if you cannot make class as much as I may like you.

    I have never refused a student because they cannot pay.. so if it comes out that a student cannot afford class they train no questions asked. If they need a meal they can eat with the family, bus fare? or if I can a lift home? so believe me if they cannot come to class it is in my opinion a choice.

    e) "So today I will show you a triple roundhouse backflip to use against a knife weilding opponent." Student then says "ok!"

    comment: Guys, please be sceptical. You do not know enough about this stuff to trust me. Common sense is imperative. Ask to see it... have I ever injured you for asking if something is effective and trying to do it in real time?

    Ok last one and one I deal with a lot because two of my classes have guys who have been studying for an average of ten years or so.

    I get students with a plethora of horrible habits and idiocycracies that god knows where they came from... I am somehow supposed to deconstruct these faux pas and teach these people how to move properly....sometimes it is like impossible!!

    Having said all that I love and never judge my students. Its just that sometimes..... I feel like Hercules having to clean the stables of King Herod!!! As in what is the next impossible task you wish to lay before me?
    This thread never was a high quality conversation - My friend vern Gilbert on the William Acquier thread.

    The fight in question having started over who owns which piece of rubble. Nicko1;2233174 On the Acquier Kim Fiasco slash thread.
  2. Omega Supreme is offline

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    Posted On:
    10/01/2009 5:15pm

    staff
     Style: Chinese Boxing

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    After 5 minutes of instruction:
    What are we doing again?

    After explaining the 5:30 class is a one hour class:
    What time does the class end.

    I'm going to show you how to do this:
    I can't do that.

    After doing a move on a person nearly a foot bigger than me and about 40lbs heavier:
    This doesn't work well on bigger guys.

    This list will go on and on.
  3. SBG-ape is offline

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    Posted On:
    10/01/2009 5:19pm


     Style: Jiu-jitsu & HEMA

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Omega the Merciless View Post
    After doing a move on a person nearly a foot bigger than me and about 40lbs heavier:
    This doesn't work well on bigger guys.
    It's because of this that I feel bad for Matt Thornton. The guy's 6'11" so he's constantly demonstrating on littler guys & then having to explain to white belts that yes the technique will still work if the guy is bigger then you.
  4. tideliar is offline

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    Posted On:
    10/01/2009 5:41pm


     Style: Muay Thai

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Omega the Merciless View Post
    After 5 minutes of instruction:
    What are we doing again?
    This is by far my biggest peeve. Invariably the student has been busy talking or goofing off and hasn't paid attention to the drill. If we're doing pad work they're gonna eat a punch and if we're working clinches they're gonna learn a bad technique, so you have to repeat yourself, as much as you want to say, "oh, you'll figure it out..."

    I have a couple of people who do this all damned class, every damned class...:5headache
  5. thorthe power is offline
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    Posted On:
    10/01/2009 6:20pm


     Style: Not sure anymore

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Student: What would you do if 4 guys pulled knifes out on you and demanded your wallet and car keys?

    Me: Hand them over as quickly as possible...
  6. Dsimon3387 is offline

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    Posted On:
    10/01/2009 6:30pm

    Join us... or die
     

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Omega the Merciless View Post
    After 5 minutes of instruction:
    What are we doing again?

    After explaining the 5:30 class is a one hour class:
    What time does the class end.

    I'm going to show you how to do this:
    I can't do that.

    After doing a move on a person nearly a foot bigger than me and about 40lbs heavier:
    This doesn't work well on bigger guys.

    This list will go on and on.
    You get an "I can't do that?" when I was in Toronto and used to teach a class for one of Stephen Haye's top guys he had a doosey of a group and the mantra was " I don't feel comfortable with that." :wtfgif9fr
    This thread never was a high quality conversation - My friend vern Gilbert on the William Acquier thread.

    The fight in question having started over who owns which piece of rubble. Nicko1;2233174 On the Acquier Kim Fiasco slash thread.
  7. 1point2 is online now
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    Posted On:
    10/01/2009 6:35pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: 剛 and 柔

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    "Can you do the 5-point-palm exploding heart technique?" (not me, but I was there) (7-year-old asking)

    What irks me the most is when students start demoing a move on the instructor out of nowhere. God, that annoys me.
    What a disgrace it is for a man to grow old without ever seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable. -Xenophon's Socrates
  8. Dsimon3387 is offline

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    Posted On:
    10/01/2009 6:39pm

    Join us... or die
     

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by thorthe power View Post
    Student: What would you do if 4 guys pulled knifes out on you and demanded your wallet and car keys?

    Me: Hand them over as quickly as possible...
    Ohh Ohh Ohh!!! oh yeah the impossible scenerio!! Good one.

    True story. Jack Hoban was out here to give a seminar, so one student asks Jack "ok Jack what if I put you in this?".... response is good, student comes up with a few more...... back in those days Jack would put up with a lot.... anyhow student has carefully orchestrated a scenerio where Jack is in a full Nelson from behind, with a wrist lock applied to both arms, legs trapped and bound... you get the idea! So Jack sort of turns around a bit (as much as he can) and tells the student "Gee Victor I don't know exactly what I would do I think you have me."

    That silly student? he was so impressed by Jack's answer (its what he was lookign for all along apparently) that he becomes Jack's student and one hell of an unheralded Buj guy that can fight... I know cause this guy became my main Buj teacher. We had a good laugh about it. Victor was looking for a teacher that was as skilled as Jack who also had the balls to say those magic words that so many of us are apparently so loath to say

    "I don't know."

    Good scenerio I had forgotten this one... I get a lot of this from my Kung Fu guys I teach in chinatown, especially now that they have entered MMA and see some moves pulled they want to know how to deal with.
    This thread never was a high quality conversation - My friend vern Gilbert on the William Acquier thread.

    The fight in question having started over who owns which piece of rubble. Nicko1;2233174 On the Acquier Kim Fiasco slash thread.
  9. Dsimon3387 is offline

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    Posted On:
    10/01/2009 6:48pm

    Join us... or die
     

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Teacher comes in sees Coke machine dented and beat up...."Why did you do that to the Coke machine?" Student "Umm it ate my quarters." Teacher "Here do that to me for a while" Gives student a slight concussion (a fracture is a broken skull alas, the skull was broken Xray)and a bloody lip....

    I had just gotten my Black Belt and was really confused and scared because I felt like I was the weakest fighter in our group and the youngest (probably true on both accounts) yet I was one of our Black Belts... so at 16 I acted out like a lot of kids would have. No I was not right to beat up the coke machine!

    I don't condone my sensei's solution but its just how things were done back then... Hopefully this story can help people appreciate how good people like Omega are and others who are gentle and compassionate with students... I love my teachers but they were not always gentle and compassionate.
    This thread never was a high quality conversation - My friend vern Gilbert on the William Acquier thread.

    The fight in question having started over who owns which piece of rubble. Nicko1;2233174 On the Acquier Kim Fiasco slash thread.
  10. lionknight is online now
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    Posted On:
    10/01/2009 8:56pm


     Style: Much striking, SAMBO, BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    New student only been training 1 week: "But my old ninja master on youtube does that like this..."

    He then showed me how to do a leg kick with his toes pointed up and hitting my shine with the side of his calf.

    I was like ok, you feel free to do it your way during sparring then.

    The guy didn’t make it past the 2nd week.
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