How the hell does a guy survive a flying knee strike?

**FLMKane** · Posted On: 9/07/2009 12:54am

Originally Posted by vile_zoidberg

OP, do you actually train flying knees? I find it very odd that you found yourself standing on top of a table after some druggy shows up at a private party. Did you slap your elbows before triumphantly kneeing your way into mediocrity(sp)?

Yes I have trained flying knees. Ex karate?

As for why I was standing on top of the table, well obviously because I wanted to get the hell away from the guy! Dont ask me for details, the adrenaline was interfering with my thinking process. But I went up on the table to get away from the fucker.

Moreover I am not in the US. The laws are a little different here. You can beat up a guy as mob and get away with it, or you can put out a toy gun and go to jail. Or destroy a guy's car for that matter. (I'm in Bangladesh).

And to all the people calling me an idiot. Thank you for your kind advice but I already know that. Next time I'll run to my house and get a gun.

.

***battlefields*** · Posted On: 9/07/2009 1:01am

It's pretty obvious this guy was experiencing the mystical and protective qualities of chi.

**Permalost** · Posted On: 9/07/2009 1:17am

I'd be pissed if I gave someone a flying knee off the top rope and they didn't stagger around enough afterwards for me to do my heel act where I flex my muscles and blow kisses at the ladies in the audience.

**omoplatypus** · Posted On: 9/07/2009 1:31am

lets get sirc on this one. TKD black belt AND ballet dancer. he should be able to shed some light on the deadly flying knee strike from 6 feet away.

oh, and jackie chan called. he said the 70's wants his fight choreography back where it belongs.

**kwan_dao** · Posted On: 9/07/2009 2:05am

Originally Posted by white_kimbo

oh, and jackie chan called. he said the 70's wants his fight choreography back where it belongs.

U haz t3h win.

BTW: Why do you have a picture of osama bin laden dressed up as a belly dancer for your avatar? I bet there is an interesting story behind that...

**vile_zoidberg** · Posted On: 9/07/2009 2:54am

Originally Posted by kwan_dao

U haz t3h win.

BTW: Why do you have a picture of osama bin laden dressed up as a belly dancer for your avatar? I bet there is an interesting story behind that...

N00b, it's obviously Princess Leia. With a massive Jew head/beard.

**kwan_dao** · Posted On: 9/07/2009 6:03am

Originally Posted by vile_zoidberg

N00b, it's obviously Princess Leia. With a massive Jew head/beard.

Hm... somehow you managed to miss the joke. I hope its not too far fetched. But then again, I'd rather think you haven't got a single funny bone in you.

**vile_zoidberg** · Posted On: 9/07/2009 6:24am

Originally Posted by kwan_dao

Hm... somehow you managed to miss the joke. I hope its not too far fetched. But then again, I'd rather think you haven't got a single funny bone in you.

No, Sir, I believe you missed my joke. The best way to ruin someone else's joke is to act like you don't get it. That's right, I just mindraped you.

**100xobm** · Posted On: 9/07/2009 6:53am

Originally Posted by kwan_dao

Hm... somehow you managed to miss the joke. I hope its not too far fetched. But then again, I'd rather think you haven't got a single funny bone in you.

wat? His freakin' name's Zoidberg man.

ZOIDBERG!

and OP, you need to work on your chi and your Pa Wraith (oh my yes). And do some Iron Knee training.

The chinese did this by kneeing a bucket of sand for three hours a day non stop. It's important to get the timing right and to not stop.
If you're coastal, you can knee a beach. I do it, because I essentially live on a large island that looks like an electric guitar (Most Triumphant).

I nearly got arrested while training for having sex on a beach but the cop let me go when he saw I was on my own, and I told him (because he's a police officer and must know about kung fu) that I was kneeing the beach to get iron knee strength, and (obviously) the only way to get good leverage is to lie down.

Now, to work on your internal energies one must improvisate here. I recall the story of a man who was told to slap a bucket of water for a year, every day, as his training. He came home to his family to express his frustration at being taught nothing but to shift water. In his anger he slapped the table and it broke in half.

In essence, I suggest to you, in order to defeat crackie party crashers, knee the beach for three years, then knee the ocean for a year.

Reading this has wasted about a minute of your life.

**vile_zoidberg** · Posted On: 9/07/2009 7:02am

Originally Posted by 100xobm

wat? His freakin' name's Zoidberg man.

ZOIDBERG!

That raises a good point. Zoidberg doesn't have any bones, he is completely supported by his crab-like exoskeleton.

Did I just get preemptively mindraped, before I did my mindrape? I'm confused.