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  1. creativo is offline

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    Posted On:
    8/11/2009 4:46am


     Style: Judofitness

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Lebell View Post
    this is exactly why i hate russians.
    And yet you could well be that same uncle!
  2. Lebell is offline
    Lebell's Avatar

    Just waiting for the paperboy.

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    Posted On:
    8/11/2009 7:41am

    supporting member
     

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    im too lazy to have been in the spetnaz.
    if i join the army i want a nice deskjob where i can take naps and stuff.
    im more the officer type.
  3. Sri Hanuman is offline
    Sri Hanuman's Avatar

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    Posted On:
    8/11/2009 7:52am

    Join us... or die
     Style: Cheng Man Ching Taijiquan

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by IHZ View Post
    I wish I had more family like this.
    NO comrade, you really don't.
    This is why we drinkink so much. :evil7:

    **STORY SEQUENCE**

    I remember a time (or rather I am constantly reminded of the time since I don't remember jack ****) when I was at a friend's housewarming party.

    Long story short, drinking since 1pm, party gets started around 7, Vientamese guy decides a drinking contest is the way to go, and around 2 am I fall head first into a wall. Wall breaks, head doesn't.

    The said friend's GF starts screaming "OMG, he's dead, call 911." That's when I got up, and tried to go for another drink. Was quickly apprehended and put down on the couch. Took 5 people. It was a while before I was invited back to another Vietnamese party.

    More recently, I went through somebody's window after some American drinking card game. I seem to be the bat-**** crazy one in the family.
    Last edited by Sri Hanuman; 8/11/2009 7:58am at .
    =================
    Kama Sutra blue belt.

    Quote Originally Posted by Emevas View Post
    I used to **** guys like you in prison.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rock Ape View Post
    Dude I kill people for a fucking living.

    Dipshit
  4. Lebell is offline
    Lebell's Avatar

    Just waiting for the paperboy.

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    12,500

    Posted On:
    8/11/2009 7:58am

    supporting member
     

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    actually, russians drink so their women get more bareable.
  5. Sri Hanuman is offline
    Sri Hanuman's Avatar

    Senior Member

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    Posted On:
    8/11/2009 8:00am

    Join us... or die
     Style: Cheng Man Ching Taijiquan

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Lebell View Post
    actually, russians drink so their women get more bareable.
    No, we drink so the fat chicks look hot, the bears look beararable, and the hangover dissipates.
    =================
    Kama Sutra blue belt.

    Quote Originally Posted by Emevas View Post
    I used to **** guys like you in prison.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rock Ape View Post
    Dude I kill people for a fucking living.

    Dipshit
  6. Chili Pepper is offline
    Chili Pepper's Avatar

    Senior Member

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    Sep 2005
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    Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
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    Posted On:
    8/11/2009 9:21am


     Style: Siling Labuyo Arnis

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    You know, I took one look at this thread's title and thought "win" - and truly it does.

    Drunken older family members talking about martial arts are teh funny.
  7. Foolish is offline

    Lightweight

    Join Date
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    Seattle Area
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    242

    Posted On:
    8/11/2009 9:26am

    supporting member
     Style: Kempo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Lebell View Post
    im too lazy to have been in the spetnaz.
    if i join the army i want a nice deskjob where i can take naps and stuff.
    im more the officer type.
    You are or will be the crazy uncle. Do you have man boobs? What about an ear fetish?
  8. sambosteve is offline
    sambosteve's Avatar

    Stillness is death

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    Posted On:
    8/11/2009 9:29am

    Business Class Supporting Member
     NY Combat Sambo Style: combat sambo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    LOL...I actually have a family member who is of Russian heritage (many generations in the US though). He is also a drinker (now sober for many years thank god). We have had some horrible times in the past...ones we would all like to forget. So, while the phone call is very funny, in the long run, you don't want that **** in the family.
  9. honest_truth is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
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    Land of Snow
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    601

    Posted On:
    8/11/2009 9:37am


     Style: Takedowns and batons

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Humanzee View Post
    NO comrade, you really don't.
    This is why we drinkink so much. :evil7:

    **STORY SEQUENCE**

    I remember a time (or rather I am constantly reminded of the time since I don't remember jack ****) when I was at a friend's housewarming party.

    Long story short, drinking since 1pm, party gets started around 7, Vientamese guy decides a drinking contest is the way to go, and around 2 am I fall head first into a wall. Wall breaks, head doesn't.

    The said friend's GF starts screaming "OMG, he's dead, call 911." That's when I got up, and tried to go for another drink. Was quickly apprehended and put down on the couch. Took 5 people. It was a while before I was invited back to another Vietnamese party.

    More recently, I went through somebody's window after some American drinking card game. I seem to be the bat-**** crazy one in the family.
    Thats why i stopped drinking heavy stuff like vodka.

    Last time it happened i twice had all out brawl in my living room with my friend, nearly got him unconscious from a RNC.

    before that it was my cousins birthday, who got piss drunk and started swearing at everyone for not helping him when he wanted something. Started talking smack about his father, then his mother told him to stop so he talked **** to her, eventhough she is my godmother i still kept quite, then he started talking **** about his godmother which is my mother, so i told him i wanted to talk to him outside for a moment, and once we were behind closed doors away from the party, i punched the **** out of him and threw him down the stairs.

    family rushed to stop, started yelling at me and kicked me out to walk it off, i decided to go to a bar and think about what happened, had more vodka, the table next to me had 2 soldiers fresh from their mandatory 2 year service who thought they were badass while all they really did was peel potatoes and be a fetch dog. they were talking too loudly, i asked them nicely to quite down, they were also drunk, so a fight errupted with me using chairs now, got the 2 guys out and i had a bloodied face, quickly ran out before the minti got there.

    walked home, no one was surpriced that my face was broken.

    for some reason everytime i do heavy drinks it either ends with sex or fights. so now i stick to a couple of glasses of wine or beer.
  10. Angry Mandrill is offline

    Registered Member

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    May 2007
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    philadelphia
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    627

    Posted On:
    8/11/2009 9:42am


     Style: bjj

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    nearest thing i've got to a crazy russian uncle:

    red army day, 1994 - just arrived in moscow, met my host family, moved in. host father (does that sound weird?) sez we gotta drink to the memory of fallen soldiers. sets the table with all kindsa good stuff, salads, pickles, fish, etc., breaks out the vodka. we spend the afternoon, or the early afternoon, drinking and watching the parades on tv. after 8-9 shots over a coupla hours, i am totally trashed and feel like puking, which i manage to delay until reaching the can.

    i'm completely embarrassed, trying to explain that i'm not a lightweight *****, really i'm not. he starts laughing hysterically, reaches under the kitchen sink and pulls out a gallon jug of everclear 190 proof grain alcohol. sez he mixes it with a little water, little lemon, and that's what we were drinking. to prove it, he takes the bottle of 'smirnoff', pours a bit in a spoon, lights said spoon on fire. if you ever tried that with retail vodka (which i did later, just to assuage the ole ego), you'd know it won't catch fire.

    for the entire three months i lived with them, i'd find him in the kitchen every morning, hoisting a kettlebell over his head with one hand while doing shots of everclear with the other. crazy.
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