Such as thou art, sometime was I.
Posted On:5/02/2004 10:27am
Style: Brazilian Jiujitsu
Baltasar Gracian on favorite techniques:
can it unclude weapons? if so:
1) the spray from 2 fully automatic uzi pistols, held crossed over sideways, like john wu style, as I fly sideways, grttting my teeth, in a tough but sexy way.
2) remotely detonated c4 explosives, viewed through binoculars in a porsche carerra, with my model girlfriend beside me.
3) the blast of a 12 gauge automatic shotgun, with a cuban cigar between my teeth, and a pinstripe suit on.
4)chrome plated desert eagle rammed sideways into the mouth, and fully unloaded , whilst I have "steven seagal" look on my face.
5) two 9mm beretta pistols again held sideways, fully unloading both clips, as I scream "yo give it up biatch" wearing a fubu jacket, with a slightly puzzled look on my face.
6)a double edged spiderco knife rammed as hard as possible into the stomach, whilst I stare, intimately close into the eyes and drip sweat onto the face, watching life disappear from the eyes.
7) 2 razor sharp wakazashi swords, mincing and slashing and cutting like a kitchen appliance, brutally slicing and dicing any and all parts of the body, in a drug crazed fury, screaming religious phrases and standing there shaking and breathing deeply afterwards in a deep trance state.
8) a very rare chinese battlefeild 9 foot halberd, sweeping across, totally dismembering the legs, with a righteous confucian spiritual aura and expression on my face.
9) a military grade sniper rifle, blowing half the face clean off, looking through the scope from a distant building, with a breifcase laptop computer, and some mysterious "discs" of information.
10) 6 large trucks packed with some godawful explosives, wiping everything out in a 20 mile radius.
the are just the "basic ten" I always rely on.
Normally, I'd say I was grappling, but I was taking down and mounting people, and JFS has kindly informed us that takedowns and being mounted are neither grappling nor anti grappling, so I'm not sure what the **** I was doing. Maybe schroedinger's sparring, where it's neither grappling nor anti-grappling until somoene observes it and collapses the waveform, and then I RNC a cat to death.----fatherdog
Posted On:5/02/2004 10:30am
Also another few favorites would be:
11) the edge of a billiards table to repeatedly ram and smash the face into whilst holding the victims hair, and asking incoherently about the "location of the diamonds".
12)a simple barbers straight razor, slashing wildly with absolutely no technique whilst wearing a paisley pillow case on my head and buttons sewn on for "eyes".
13)four massive african trap door spiders, all aggravated and starved, with 1.5 inch fangs, hastely thrown out of jars inside the victims clothing whilst they sleep.
a pit bull terrier strapped with explosives was also on the cards, but my top ten still stands as my "basic favorites".
Posted On:5/28/2004 5:55pm
Guy Who Pays the Bills and Gets the Death Threats Style: MMA (Retired)
"I've got more important things to do, like playing Minesweeper, I mean TRAINING! Yes, training."
--"Lord Morgue", disciple of "Ninja Master" Ashida Kim
Posted On:5/29/2004 6:12am
Style: Okinowan Shuri
My favorite quote comes out of this thread:
It is times like this, the akward silence after someone says something so profoundly assinine as to stop everyone in their tracks, that I realize that I should be and am very thankful for the life I've been lucky enough to live and for the people I've been lucky enough to have had love me.
Then I realize part of the luck may be tied to the fact that I'm not a complete and utter dipshit. - Dochter
Posted On:6/08/2004 10:13am
Style: BJJ - Homeland Security
Originally posted by hedgehogey
You know how zen koans are supposed to help you achieve higher states of consciousness by providing you with a contradiction that gets your mind going in circles until it eventually breaks free of the loop like the atoms in an a-bomb?
Well "I'm veridian and i'm hot" makes "What is the sound of one hand clapping" sound like a dry and extremely carefully reasoned report on farm subsidy reform.
Posted On:6/12/2004 7:45pm
Style: JKD, BJJ
"Now that isn't a real fight and I should know I've been a [a. Prison Guard, b. Bouncer, c. Cop] for [a. 15 years, b. 9 months, c. 3 days] and my [insert style] has saved my life countless times. Not only that, but my [a. Sifu, b. Sensei, c. Boyfriend] has killed people with this. He even [a. Won an underground death tournament in China, b. Tore the head off of a live bull, c. Melted a baby with his bare hands]." -- altlat
Monkey Ninjas! Attack!
Posted On:7/08/2004 1:23am
Originally posted by PizDoff
you British idiots don't know how to speak English
Last edited by PizDoff; 10/01/2007 3:39pm at .
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lord of the glen
Posted On:7/13/2004 9:50pm
Style: Kung Fu
hedge at his finest.
Originally posted by Andy Murray
Merely to marvel at Hedgehogeys exotic penis fantasy's.
The guys clearly got issues.
You're the one who brought the cocks up. IT WAS YOU WHO SUMMONED THEM. Not me. But they were scratching at the wall like a demon moose, trying to break through the thin veil of our reality. Until you mentioned them.
I was merely transmitting a warning for you to back off and stop DROPPING YOUR GODAMN SOAP. Now look what you've done. You *had* to go all HASTUR HASTUR HAST-
CLICK THE ADDS ROMO!
This chapter will also show clips from a high-speed video in which Master Bristol conceals a Swiss Army Knife inside his buttocks. -from "The Magicians Code" by Hans Bristol
Posted On:7/13/2004 9:55pm
A cutting retort from Andy Murray:
Go **** yourselves. If you can tear yourselves away from masturbating over pictures of Phrost for long enough that is.
Posted On:7/21/2004 10:26am
Originally posted by patfromlogan
BRING BACK YOUR SEXUALLY AMBIGUOUS AVATAR!
I liked it way better than your sexually ambiguous photo.
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