The Quote Graveyard

**Kungfoolss** · Posted On: 9/17/2006 4:45am

Originally Posted by patfromlogan

there is a tradition in mas that one is called a master by one's students, not one's self.

Drawing attention to one's self, is part of the definition of bullshido....

You do realize to whom you're addressing right? I can't help but draw attention to myself by pissing others off with my statements of truth.

**Kungfoolss** · Posted On: 9/17/2006 4:51am

"Now, before all you politically sensitive martial artists out there get you panties in a bunch, listen to what I am telling you here, I am not making fun of retarded children. That would serve literally no purpose. No my friends, I am merely taking this opportunity to point out that it doesn't take terribly much in way of brain power nor physical ability to be a willing participant in the stylistic arts.

If you can have such mentally and physically handicapped individuals partaking in the martial arts, can the arts realistically prove challenging or worthwhile? Consider this, would you ever allow these individuals to drive a car, boat, plane or similar motorized vehicle? Of course you would not, such activities takes a great amount of responsibility, not to mention an average IQ level to operate such machinery in a safe manner for both the driver and others that share the same environment.

However, while such individuals are clearly unqualified to drive, thereby endangering the citizenry, they are not prohibited from joining the martial arts. Whether you are a genius, average joe, or the retarded, you can participate in the stylist arts." Kungfoolss 2002

**Kungfoolss** · Posted On: 9/17/2006 5:01am

"According to an article in the Journal of Asian Martial Arts, "the literate Chinese elite traditionally took a jaundiced view of physical combat and were inclined to ignore the arts." Indeed, "martial artists were, almost by definition, members of the illiterate lower classes and unable to leave written records of their own history.

And, in the eyes of the elite record keepers, martial artists were not merely social inferiors - because of their frequent association with the underworld and seditious activities, they were often regarded as criminals."

Erwin de Castro, B. J. Oropeza and Ron Rhodes

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"I felt a little ill a short time later but my mental discipline from being a black belt in martial arts prevented me from throwing up."

Schwartz, 45, after puting away 14 glazed krispy kreme doughnuts just to impress his in-laws. A record he's immensely proud of.

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"When I do my kicks, I don't want to rip my boxers. They are real comfortable."

Kyneth Atwater, Taekwondo male student commenting on wearing thongs during his martial arts workouts

**Kungfoolss** · Posted On: 9/17/2006 5:08am

"If I take your life, obviously you're dead. How does confidence enter into the equation?"

Kungfoolss commenting upon Kung fu san soo, Jimmy H. Woo's famous "You can take my life but not my confidence." line 2002

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"My research and focus at the moment, centers on the psychological and pathological makeup of the individual drawn to the stylistic arts in the first place.

As far as karate goes... well, let's just say it doesn't take a genius to see what's wrong with it."

Kungfoolss 2003

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"It is an absurd notion that an article about the martial arts must be written by an actual stylist. If such ridiculous logic is taken to the extreme, any particular art by this measure may only be written by the practitioner of the style itself.

There is a problem with this narrow perspective, it denies the fact that the individuals predictable bias and political agenda deliberately skews the objectivity of the work."

Kungfoolss 2003

"Ok, let's assume you want brain-surgery. Are you going to go to someone with an actual, working knowledge of brain-surgery or are you going to go to an article written about what brain-surgery looks like from an outsiders perspective?

I'm no wholely against articles written by non-martial artists, but it is a pretty valid argument."

Scooter 2003

"As a practice, in many of these articles, rarely does it ever specify that the writer is in fact a stylist themselves, while they may not be a practitioner of the art their article is featuring, there is almost never any evidence (outside of an actual martial arts magazine) that they may indeed have a MA, TMA, NHB, SD, etc., background limited or otherwise.

In any event, the martial arts is not brain surgery, no, more along the same levels as Special Ed. Frankly, it's not a complicated science."

Kungfoolss 2003

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"I'm afraid not, the MMA's is a combat philosophy that is primarily sports-oriented, I don't consider myself competitor when it pertains to life and death confrontations. Nevertheless, because the MMA's are not bound by esoteric mysticism and other worthless aspects of traditional dogma of the eastern-based arts, one could put forth a very credible argument that the MMA's may have certain advantages of realism over the traditionalists whom have never really fought outside of the safety of their dojo environment.

This is the reason why many traditionalists are smashed to a pulp after engaging a MMA fighter (and even the uneducated street fighter). MMA's are not impressed with the traditionalists many colored belts with their cute little taped and striped ends, the countless hours performing some idiotic ceremonial dance routines to improve fighting form, the incessant spiritual brainwashing and cultism, or the repetitive and stationary strikes leveled against imaginary foes, much of which parallels the religious fervor of Islamic fundamentalism.

What allows the MMA's to dominate the traditionalists, is exactly because their training lacks this foolishness, basically, they train the way they fight. Now, this may be an advantage given a particular set of variables, or in the same vein, becomes their greatest weakness, in either circumstance, the burden in my professional opinion is on the TMA's.

Subsequently, many traditionalists assume the solution to this problematic symptom resides in the ignorance of cross-training. Incidentally, whether they realize or not, the many "reality-based" combat arts likewise fall into this category of false truths; krav maga, spears, san soo, dynamic combat, Rmcat, defendu, Rat and countless others. It is an empirical fact, that krav maga boasts that it's philosophy and training serves to compliment existing arts in the stylists repertoire, thereby, neglecting the universal truth that many arts simply have an incompatibility with one another. By accumulating knowledge in this manner, serves only to act as a polarity, causing each differing belief structure to cancel each other out.

Every style fosters their own sets principles-faulty though they may be-and values that may conflict when overlaid to an existing belief structure. The stylist may very well abandon his existing set of convictions, realizing they were a complete waste of time; up until the point he discovers something new further on down the road, which in turn, will void these new beliefs. Alternatively, he may come to the realization that this new pursuit has proven equally as worthless, and the traditionalist may wander from style to style in this manner throughout his adult life, leading to a continuous cycle of perpetual ignorance and frustration for the individual stylist. With this understanding, we can see that the mantra of, "It's the individual and not the art," really is multifaceted and not restricted to the wisdom of conventional thought alone, that the art itself becomes as much to blame as a catalyst for failure as is the martial artist himself.

As the old axiom goes, two wrongs and even with the possibility of a third, will never equal a single right."

Kungfoolss responding when asked if he practiced MMA 2002

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"While my training partner and I was working out this morning, he recounted a past experience of his when he was training in kung fu. A fellow student and buddy of his would give him pointers on being at a constant state of readiness to deal with any threat. This stylist would give ridiculous explanations to his logic, such as, my partner would come up and shake this guys hand as a greeting and then be chastised by this individual, telling my buddy, "I could've killed you a dozen different ways from that handshake alone. You have to be ready for anything."

To which I rolled my eyes and stated that sort of stylistic nonsense is apt to put one in a state of paranoia, therefore beneficial to none. Continuing his tale, the same individual was experienced in many Chinese fighting arts and deeply devoted with their spiritual aspects as well. One spiritual practice involved fasting with meditation. The idiot was found dead in his apartment and the coroner ruled the death as a result of malnutrition.

I laughed saying, "Oh come on. I know martial artists are morons, but that's a bit off the wall." My friend then replied, "No, it's true. My master (kung fu instructor) and the rest of the class attended his wake." I chuckled a bit more and then put it out of my mind focusing on our workout."

Kungfoolss 2004

**Kungfoolss** · Posted On: 9/17/2006 6:06am

Source: Comedy central's, the John Stewart show

Subject: John Stewart commenting upon an incident involving some unfortunate criminal attempting to carjack a van full of judo stylists.

John Stewart: "Judo is described by many as the gentle way."

(Producers switch from John to an interview with one of the judo members involved with the altercation)

Some redheaded judo chick: "I was trying to put the guy in a choke hold, but I couldn't because the other guys were punching him so I began to punch him in the head too."

(Interview ends and immediately cuts back to John)

John Stewart: (An expression of wryness)

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Article: 'Why Bruce Lee turned to weight training'

Article excerpts -

"Bruce Lee was proud of his physique and enjoyed removing his shirt to reveal his well-muscled upper body. When he wasn't doing sit-ups, he would be squeezing a rubber ball or pumping a pair of dumbbells. Desiring accolades, many times he would ask a friend or acquaintance to place a hand on his abdomen or leg to "feel my stomach muscles" or "feel how hard my legs are."

**MrMcFu** · Posted On: 9/17/2006 7:13am

Okay maybe the last two are funny.

**patfromlogan** · Posted On: 10/25/2006 11:57am

Two quotes from the Colonel to add for posterity.

Originally Posted by colonelpong

Hi and thank you all for admitting me to your wonderful site! In honour of this, I have prepared the following:

ODE TO THE McDOJO

McDojo McDojo we love you so,
despite the fact you really blow,
"Hand over your money my friend,
I'll teach you the mystic chi willow bend!"

"For a hundred bucks a month you'll get it all,
a gay looking twirly jump and mat on which to fall",
enthralled by the fancy Preying Donkey style,
they sign up on a long contract and stay a while,

"This move is useless but damn it looks good,
after a few months you'll be breaking small bits of wood!",
Exciting leaps, fancy stances and a shiny sequined gi,
Ooooohhh... just think it could be you and me,

"Why waste six years to get a black belt grade?
we'll give it to you in six months... you'll have it made!",
this sounds fantastic so very exciting and fab,
for my lifes savings I can learn the magic chi grab,

Lets them take me on now with my new skills,
after my Tae-Bo workout tape I'll score some kills,
"For only $19.95 we'll give you a special martial cream,
apply twice daily and become a blackbelt... just like a dream!",

No need to train or know jackshit about fighting,
just watch a video and you'll move like lightening!
Let us gather at the McDojo's to worship the great,
filled with awe watching Ashida Kim's ego masturbate,

"Listen and learn from me I am Grandmaster Wank-Lo,
trained by magical ninja monks and a punch I can't throw",
Paying homage to the ignorant and seeker of fools,
the two year "Sensei's" who sit there yank and pull,

Now I have finished my rant its time for bed,
nothing more fun than getting punched in the head,
I write this in appreciation to Bullshido.com cos it rocks,
all these folk arguing about whose style has the biggest cocks!

Originally Posted by colonelpong

WELCOME A).

Welcome dear friend,

We here at bullshido are happy to welcome you into our close circle of friends. Bullshido is a friendly, supportive environment which encourages positive reinforcement and mutual respect. We believe that all martial artists can learn from one another and venerate the grace of Aikido, the deadly kicks of TaeKwan Do and the ancient and powerful magics of ninjitsu.
We do not approve of fighting for sport as it is not in keeping with the true way (or Do) of martial arts. The arts are NOT about fighting, they are about discipline, respect and learning about ones self and others. After all, is there not a thread of Chi running through all living things? Are we then not all one in reality? Here we teach our members to love one another and do not allow bad words, insults or put downs.
After all, we are all like angels born with only one wing and must come together to embrace if we are ever to learn to truly fly!

WELCOME B).

**** off. Wanker.....

**patfromlogan** · Posted On: 10/27/2006 8:37pm

Originally Posted by Hannibal:

Shuma-Gorath still represents everything wrong with this world today. Computer geeks who have too much of a say. WHen your a proffessional fighter and winning titles, sure. Then you can start flamming others and make fun of them on the internet. Untill then despite what style you do, respect and courtesy should be given on the internet.

Reply Posted by Lu Tze:

Over dramatize much?

You truely think some over zealous BJJ nutrider deleting **** threads in a grappling subforum on the internet represents eveything that's wrong with the world today? Go get your fucking brain reformatted you waste of life.

**patfromlogan** · Posted On: 11/01/2006 8:53pm

This post caught my attention with the "selfesteemselfconfidencefitness concentrationculturalwhateverkaratekid nonsense bullshit..." and then by the end I had tears in my eyes. What a shame...

Originally Posted by fubar

I alternated between TKD and Tang Soo Do for a long time. A really long time.

I had a female student who was entirely gunshy of sparring. She just could not do it. She'd freeze up , turn her back , basically just wouldn't try. She eventually confided that she had been raped in college and was still fucked up emotionally from it. Training in 'the world's most popular' martial art was all about self defense for this woman. She trained semi hard , knew her forms and one-step fighting drills well , everything but the ability to spar.

This wasn't my school , it was ( and still is ) run by a guy who basically sucks at teaching adults. he has a nice little program for little kids through 15 or 16 - the point where they actually begin to have an ability to train for actual violence rather than selfesteemselfconfidencefitness concentrationculturalwhateverkaratekid nonsense bullshit.( he had a group of like 6 parents of the little tournament fighters who traqined during the day - stay at home mom's and night workers.)

At that point he turned them over to me . I had his teens and adults who trained at night - including this soccer Mom with the horible attack in her past. She'd been a day student for a few years. Most of the kids graduating to my class left after a few weeks because I made them learn to box for several weeks before they got to show off their aerial 540 reverse hook kicks.
We didn't use the rules they'd learned and had problems with getting thrashed by 25 -40 year old green belts.

Soccer Mom was a red belt - looking at her Black belt test. i had spent a hell of a lot of time working with her on the sparring and she seemed to be trying - then : Gone. She switched to the day classes where she would "focus on Self defense techniques " and not have to spar at all , under the master who ran the place.

So today she is a black belt , She can not spar. She definately can not fight. I imagine she still suffers from anxiety and fear and baggage from her knowledge that her black belt is a hollow joke - and she is no closer to being capable of dealing with a sick fucker trying to abuse her today than she was before she learned self defense techniques against a double wrist grab.

She gave in to her fear. Master guy whored his school's integrity to avoid the risk of losing a student. I quit in disgust soon after and went out on my own.

**patfromlogan** · Posted On: 12/09/2006 10:09am

Originally Posted by MSphinx
I only masturbate because my sexual technique is too deadly for teh bed.

To CT:

Originally Posted by deus ex machina

You're first mistake was assuming I give a **** about your improvement. You're second mistake was having sex with that Samoan he-she in that backalley next to the bar.