Posted On:7/29/2009 1:42am
...I have decided that I will start my own Martial Arts school. I shall train students in the mystical ways of Ninjer/BJJ/GJJ/KKK/Ke?po/Krav/ShadowyShit/FlaccidPenis/Gongfu/Karate-TKD-Do. My title shall be Grandmaster-Sensei-Shi Fu-Soke-Jackass-136th Dan Rondy.
I am 31 years old.
A Professional Fighting Record of 165,432 wins - 0 losses.
My Black Belts - BB Judo, BB BJJ, BB Ninjer, BB Karate-Do, Black Sash Shaolin Style Wing Chun Drunken Master Fu. And I am the proud owner of a true, 100% certified BB from Radford "Assuma Kimber" Davis AND a BB from SWAN Ninjer-idiot-su.
I have personally whipped the **** out of Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Van Damne, the mighty AH-NOLD, I have made the entire Gracie family my bitch, and I am the only man that was able to kick Chuck Norris so hard that his granite beard shattered. I also went back in time and personally beat the **** out of Guan Yu and ripped his beard off. *****.
My Military Experience - LARP, USMC, Vietnam War. US Army, WWII, the Big Red One. Hitler didn't commit suicide because the Russkies were on his ass, he killed himself because he heard I was coming for him. Also, I fought on behalf of the Confederacy during the War of the States, commonly called the Civil War. And yes, it is true that Grant was one shitty drunk. I'm also a former Navy SeAL, a Delta Force Operator, a USMC Force Recon/Scout Sniper and a Green Beret. Plus I helped the Jews do 9-11.
I have a 14" cock, flaccid, and when I am erect it measures an amazing 21". I have banged over 4,000 hot ass women. Would you like to come back to my place bouncy bouncy? I am no longer infected. Please remove your panties Sir William, I cannot wait until lunch time.
I am so fucking hard-core and bad ass that the entire crew of Bullshido.net is not worthy to kiss my foot.
My Training Facilities - I own a $$$424 BILLION dollar training center - I own Long Island, New York.
Special Skills - Thanks to my hero Radford I have learned how to turn invisible (which helped in my pursuit of the 4,000 chicks I nailed), I can put my fist through THREE layers of bulletproof glass JUST BY FUCKING THINKING ABOUT IT (so blow me Fraud Dux) AND I can bench press a Mack truck. I spent 30 years training at the Shaolin Temple in China and another 20 years training as a Ninjer-Samurai hybrid by Grandmaster SomenameIcan'tspell in Japan.
My Special Challenge - For the low fee of $1,500,000 I will fight anyone to prove my skills. I win automatically if I touch you...because my super deadly Dim Mak will pwn your ass. You are responsible for the cost of any (read: numerous) injuries I recieve during said fight and require hospitalization for. If you make me cry like a bitch my Jew lawyer will butthurt you. Which reminds me - Surprise Buttsecks, the best thing you didn't know you needed.
Black Belt Program - For only $32,000 I will send you your own authentic, totally legit Black Belt that every other Martial Artist in the world would pop a boner over. Really, it's that cool. Don't mind the white stains on the belt, my mom spilled some mayo on it. Really, mayo, it's not my spooge.
If at any time I am investigated by any members or affiliates of Bullshido.net and labled a fraud I will claim that the Jews made me do it.
Anyway, I know I'm the new puppy around here but I think I'm starting to get the grasp on how McDojo's and their Bullshido works. So thanks guys!
Oh, and every fucking time I see that avatar pic with Obi Won (or however it's spelled) 'Force-Pushing' the baby over I giggle. I think there may be a screw loose in my noggin.
Last edited by RondyR; 7/29/2009 1:52am at .
Reason: Edit - Spelling Nazi was not amused.
Posted On:7/29/2009 2:25am
Oh, and I forgot to mention that the only reason why I lost the Civil War is because I was busy with chicks #1876, 1877, and 1878 1/2.
Just waiting for the paperboy.
Posted On:7/29/2009 4:15am
dude, thats nothing special, join the club.
i knew a guy who claimed to be a pink paret and he fought in a secret mountainwar up in the himalayas.
(i wish i was making this up, he really told me this)
I feel like you eyeballin' me, dawg!
Posted On:7/29/2009 7:57am
Style: Judo, BJJ
But you have yet to beat me, the World's Most Interesting Man.
I can speak French in Russian, and my combatives skills are top notch!!
I feel like you eye-bawlin' me, dawg!
Posted On:7/29/2009 8:23am
If "Jesus Makes You Do This" then you have the winner
Posted On:7/29/2009 8:28am
Style: No-Gi BJJ
Originally Posted by RondyR
I am the Scarlet Pimpernel.
Posted On:7/29/2009 8:32am
Originally Posted by cyril
I am the Scarlet Pimp.
Here, fixed it for ya.:spanky:
Posted On:7/29/2009 8:35am
Originally Posted by DarkPhoenix
Here, fixed it for ya.:spanky:
Sink me, the man's lost his mind!
Posted On:7/29/2009 8:37am
I couldn't be arsed to read your post.
Posted On:7/29/2009 9:47am
Style: BJJ, MT, JJJ / Judo
nice! youre in harford? thats a good 30 min drive for me. i can haz blackbelt? :D
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