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  1. RondyR is offline

    Featherweight

    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Harford County, Maryland
    Posts
    45

    Posted On:
    7/29/2009 1:42am

    Bullshido Newbie
     Style: Catfishin'!

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    Thanks To Bullshido...

    ...I have decided that I will start my own Martial Arts school. I shall train students in the mystical ways of Ninjer/BJJ/GJJ/KKK/Ke?po/Krav/ShadowyShit/FlaccidPenis/Gongfu/Karate-TKD-Do. My title shall be Grandmaster-Sensei-Shi Fu-Soke-Jackass-136th Dan Rondy.

    My qualifications:
    I am 31 years old.

    A Professional Fighting Record of 165,432 wins - 0 losses.

    My Black Belts - BB Judo, BB BJJ, BB Ninjer, BB Karate-Do, Black Sash Shaolin Style Wing Chun Drunken Master Fu. And I am the proud owner of a true, 100% certified BB from Radford "Assuma Kimber" Davis AND a BB from SWAN Ninjer-idiot-su.

    I have personally whipped the **** out of Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Van Damne, the mighty AH-NOLD, I have made the entire Gracie family my bitch, and I am the only man that was able to kick Chuck Norris so hard that his granite beard shattered. I also went back in time and personally beat the **** out of Guan Yu and ripped his beard off. *****.

    My Military Experience - LARP, USMC, Vietnam War. US Army, WWII, the Big Red One. Hitler didn't commit suicide because the Russkies were on his ass, he killed himself because he heard I was coming for him. Also, I fought on behalf of the Confederacy during the War of the States, commonly called the Civil War. And yes, it is true that Grant was one shitty drunk. I'm also a former Navy SeAL, a Delta Force Operator, a USMC Force Recon/Scout Sniper and a Green Beret. Plus I helped the Jews do 9-11.

    I have a 14" cock, flaccid, and when I am erect it measures an amazing 21". I have banged over 4,000 hot ass women. Would you like to come back to my place bouncy bouncy? I am no longer infected. Please remove your panties Sir William, I cannot wait until lunch time.

    I am so fucking hard-core and bad ass that the entire crew of Bullshido.net is not worthy to kiss my foot.

    My Training Facilities - I own a $$$424 BILLION dollar training center - I own Long Island, New York.

    Special Skills - Thanks to my hero Radford I have learned how to turn invisible (which helped in my pursuit of the 4,000 chicks I nailed), I can put my fist through THREE layers of bulletproof glass JUST BY FUCKING THINKING ABOUT IT (so blow me Fraud Dux) AND I can bench press a Mack truck. I spent 30 years training at the Shaolin Temple in China and another 20 years training as a Ninjer-Samurai hybrid by Grandmaster SomenameIcan'tspell in Japan.

    My Special Challenge - For the low fee of $1,500,000 I will fight anyone to prove my skills. I win automatically if I touch you...because my super deadly Dim Mak will pwn your ass. You are responsible for the cost of any (read: numerous) injuries I recieve during said fight and require hospitalization for. If you make me cry like a bitch my Jew lawyer will butthurt you. Which reminds me - Surprise Buttsecks, the best thing you didn't know you needed.

    Black Belt Program - For only $32,000 I will send you your own authentic, totally legit Black Belt that every other Martial Artist in the world would pop a boner over. Really, it's that cool. Don't mind the white stains on the belt, my mom spilled some mayo on it. Really, mayo, it's not my spooge.

    If at any time I am investigated by any members or affiliates of Bullshido.net and labled a fraud I will claim that the Jews made me do it.



    Anyway, I know I'm the new puppy around here but I think I'm starting to get the grasp on how McDojo's and their Bullshido works. So thanks guys!

    Oh, and every fucking time I see that avatar pic with Obi Won (or however it's spelled) 'Force-Pushing' the baby over I giggle. I think there may be a screw loose in my noggin.
    Last edited by RondyR; 7/29/2009 1:52am at . Reason: Edit - Spelling Nazi was not amused.
  2. RondyR is offline

    Featherweight

    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Harford County, Maryland
    Posts
    45

    Posted On:
    7/29/2009 2:25am

    Bullshido Newbie
     Style: Catfishin'!

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Oh, and I forgot to mention that the only reason why I lost the Civil War is because I was busy with chicks #1876, 1877, and 1878 1/2.
  3. Lebell is offline
    Lebell's Avatar

    Just waiting for the paperboy.

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Lolland
    Posts
    12,496

    Posted On:
    7/29/2009 4:15am

    supporting member
     

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    dude, thats nothing special, join the club.

    i knew a guy who claimed to be a pink paret and he fought in a secret mountainwar up in the himalayas.

    (i wish i was making this up, he really told me this)
  4. DarkPhoenix is offline
    DarkPhoenix's Avatar

    I feel like you eyeballin' me, dawg!

    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Wyomissing, PA
    Posts
    2,254

    Posted On:
    7/29/2009 7:57am


     Style: Judo, BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    But you have yet to beat me, the World's Most Interesting Man.



    I can speak French in Russian, and my combatives skills are top notch!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Holy Moment View Post
    BJJ JOE: I'm going to make hate to you. Right here, right now.
    ... Ohhhhhhhh, I'm going to make hate to you so hard that your kinfolk back in Africa will feel it.l
    Quote Originally Posted by Archer
    Karate is the Dane Cook of martial arts
  5. Tom .C is offline

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    3,127

    Posted On:
    7/29/2009 8:23am

    Join us... or die
     Style: Aikido,Judo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    If "Jesus Makes You Do This" then you have the winner
  6. cyril is offline
    cyril's Avatar

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Tallahassee, FL
    Posts
    831

    Posted On:
    7/29/2009 8:28am


     Style: No-Gi BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by RondyR View Post
    Stuff
    I am the Scarlet Pimpernel.
  7. DarkPhoenix is offline
    DarkPhoenix's Avatar

    I feel like you eyeballin' me, dawg!

    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Wyomissing, PA
    Posts
    2,254

    Posted On:
    7/29/2009 8:32am


     Style: Judo, BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by cyril View Post
    I am the Scarlet Pimp.

    Here, fixed it for ya.:spanky:
    Quote Originally Posted by Holy Moment View Post
    BJJ JOE: I'm going to make hate to you. Right here, right now.
    ... Ohhhhhhhh, I'm going to make hate to you so hard that your kinfolk back in Africa will feel it.l
    Quote Originally Posted by Archer
    Karate is the Dane Cook of martial arts
  8. cyril is offline
    cyril's Avatar

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Tallahassee, FL
    Posts
    831

    Posted On:
    7/29/2009 8:35am


     Style: No-Gi BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by DarkPhoenix View Post
    Here, fixed it for ya.:spanky:
    Sink me, the man's lost his mind!
    :5bowtie:
  9. Evil Solvalou is offline

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    880

    Posted On:
    7/29/2009 8:37am


     Style: None

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I couldn't be arsed to read your post.
  10. DarkAardvark is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Maryland - USA
    Posts
    171

    Posted On:
    7/29/2009 9:47am


     Style: BJJ, MT, JJJ / Judo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    nice! youre in harford? thats a good 30 min drive for me. i can haz blackbelt? :D
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