Thread: Open Letter to Matt Morton
6/30/2009 8:36pm, #11
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Raleigh, NC
- Anything Goes
Man... hats off. I don't know what else to say. I don't know how you do it.
For the record, Mark, you really inspire me. You ever manage to get out to Raleigh, you let me know.
6/30/2009 8:52pm, #12
6/30/2009 9:39pm, #13
Then I will say this, to Matt...
That is NOT how you deal with this.
I have been slandered and libeled all over the internet. There was a local jackass who had his own martial art radio show and I was on his hit parade.
Do I need to even bring up TUF?
Guess what, I don't go to the Underground forum, I don't read the Underground forum. I don't care about the Underground or what they say. Frankly I think that pisses them off most of all.
However, if I was REALLY going to do something about it, I'd beat the holy living **** out of the loudest mouth over there. I would not get a Lawyer.
You know why I don't? Because I know they are full of ****. They can call me a blue nosed baboon; but it doesn't mean I have a blue nose or I am an ape. I know what I did, I know who I did it with, and I have the legitimate papers to prove it. I don't need ANYONE to validate who I am. I know who I am.
Matt, we both know you can't say the same thing. That is what your problem really is, and only you can fix it. I told you how.
Matt, I have been upfront and honest with you from the very beginning. Even though I knew from the very beginning you did not have the Judo skills you claimed. I have tried to guide you to the best way to resolve this FOR YOU, not me, or bullshido, but for YOU. A lawsuit does NOT deal with the core issue, now does it?
You don't need a good lawyer, you need a good Coach, and the grit to push your way though all of this. I'm rooting for you.
6/30/2009 10:56pm, #14
7/01/2009 6:01am, #15
Hell... with all the things I have been called. Mike is great!
7/01/2009 8:57am, #16
- Join Date
- May 2002
- Submission Grappling
I cyber-bow to everyone continuing to train under difficult circumstances. Even Matt, if his injuries are all he says they are. I have untold respect for all of you, because I know what it is like to have the opportunity to train taken away from you.
I started looking around for a good school immediately after UFC I in 1993 (I was 27), and settled at Joe Maffei's JKD studio in Waltham where David Hood was training for the UFC. I learned some basic Boxing, Muaythai and BJJ there that has served me well over the years. I had a little less than 2 years to train before my son was born, and I transitioned to training less. A year after that my son's mom took off and I became a full time single parent. We have seen her exactly once since then. I had to struggle for years to find time to train. I tried taking him with me, but it is very difficult to get a 2-4 year old boy to sit still while you spar (they want to spar too!). Babysitting was a luxury I could not afford for more than once a month, and I used that to train when I could. This went on for many, many years. When he got older (around 8) he wanted to train too; Finances did not allow for both of us to train at the same time, and every child deserves to train in their sport if their parents can swing it, so he trained and I watched. In the last few years, things have improved career-wise, and I am making more money. At the same time, he is old enough that I don't have to be with him every second, so he takes the subway to the gym, and I meet him there after work. Finally I am training again, but I missed my physical prime, and I think I will never be as good as I could have been.
Mark, I know what it is to be in desperate straights. When my first wife left me with our 18 month old kid, my mind was so messed up I couldn;t think straight. The only work I was able to handle mentally was physical labor, and I worked unloading trucks at the Harvard bookstore for $8.00 an hour. Child care cost me about $6.00 an hour. I spent my days either unloading trucks, or sitting in an unheated staging area waiting for trucks to come in, freezing in the winter and cooking in the summer with two very ripe dumpsters for company. One day the garbage guys came while I was at lunch and took my kid's stroller as trash. I had no car, and had to carry him on my shoulders for months after that.
Eventually I got my head back together and slowly worked my way up through the university, learning biology as I went (I had studied Mathematics in college). Better jobs meant free classes, and I was eventually able to go to grad school and take up a scientific career, but it was a long, mind-numbing, spirit testing slog that is only now settling down into what most would call normal life after 12 years. Through out the whole thing, I never got a dime from his mother, any help from the state, or any substantial aid from my relatives. I know what it is like to be desperate, and I respect the hell out of you for sticking with it; For sticking with life. Hang in, brother.
KosherKickboxer has t3h r34l chi sao
In De Janerio, in blackest night,
Luta Livre flees the fight,
Behold Maeda's sacred tights;
Beware my power... Blue Lantern's light!
7/01/2009 9:08am, #17
7/01/2009 8:59pm, #18
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Saint Louis MO
- Tae Kwon Do
War Wheel thank you and Mark for your kind thoughts. Look, I do not intend law suit. Contact with me is ok, I was overwhelmed mentally, physically and emotionally, I was at mental unstabiliity, I applaude everyone who struggles through as well. I know I have it bad, but a different bad. I am not hiding in the basement or anything like that. I have been with the Psychiatrists and Psychologists as well as social workers in the V.A.. I have been getting a lot of help and am not nearly as frustrated and suseptible to seeking self harm. I have been using judo as therapy as well.
I have found that being a guppie in a small pond is good for me, I have lived on govt. pension since June of 07, I know tough budgeting. I should have known better to accept things I didn't work hard for, I told people in my Martial Arts community of the Kodokan and BJJ certs. The stupidity of it all. I accepted things I shouldn't have plain and simple I was an ass about it. So I am asking for forgiveness folks, period. I had hit rock bottom and was in a deep depression and having anxiety and panic attacks when the acceptance of rank and certification was done. This is not an excuse, it just offers up a minor reason.
I mean, becoming a Marine was hard. Not easy for anyone, much less getting out with an honorable. Zen will tell you that I don't joke around in class, I just made a terrible mistake of getting caught up in the acceptance of things.
When I told friends and family it started with "You are gonna be mad at what I did." I got caught up and became what I didn't like.
Again I am sorry and this is my apology. Please all, no flaming. This is a from the gut post. I am trying to put me back together. I know it will take a long time, but it is a work in progress. This is a wholehearted apology for beginning to get consumed and become something unnoteworthy and I am sorry. Please no questions, I am just asking for apology acceptance.
Last edited by matt.m; 7/01/2009 9:15pm at .
7/01/2009 9:34pm, #19
I accept you as you are. I will help you any way I can. I will direct you to others who will as well. For what it is worth, I forgive you, and today is a new day.
7/01/2009 9:38pm, #20
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Saint Louis MO
- Tae Kwon Do
Thank you Mark. I may need your help. Maybe we can help each other? I don't know what the right answer is but I humbly say thank you. Your forgiveness does mean a lot.
Last edited by matt.m; 7/01/2009 9:46pm at .