RBSD people should stop teaching "women's self-defense" revisited.

**Dr. Sleepless** · Posted On: 5/21/2009 7:08pm

With the recent thread about being STABBED IN THE HEAD, I decided to bring a thread I created a few years ago about an interesting night I had here: RBSD people should stop teaching "Women's Self-defense" or Sushi LARaPes a girl - No BS Martial Arts

I was wondering what the reactions to this would be, what with the whole terrorist attacks on the twin towers, opinions have changed since I made that thread. There's no more having fun. There's no more such thing as enjoying yourself withouth someone wanting to sue you, I guess?

Original head stabbing thread here: A kid tried to stab me tonight. - No BS Martial Arts

So last night I was at this HORRIBLY boring party with a bunch of people who were either stoners or shroomers. Everyone was sober, but these people were the most pretentious and stiflingly smug motherfuckers I've ever met in my life.

Anyway, someone got on the subject of fighting, something about one of them doing wrestling or whatever, and the hostess, a good friend of mine, said, "Oh yeah, Chris does a lot of fighting stuff."

I tried my best not to barge into their conversation of eye-gouges, biting, false anatomical physics and the such. But they asked my opinion. One of the girls there is the kind of radical feminist who believes in feng shui, chi, etc. Despite being a white girl who retroactively is trying to get daddy to love her. I've known this girl since elementary school and we've always butted heads. Anyway, she's had a few "self-defense" lessons. She made some comment about how if some guy grabs your arms, instead of resisting, to push your arm towards him and at some point escape (she never really made this clear) and using the heel of the palm, make his brain explode somehow. I interjected that if anybody really wanted to take you somewhere, they wouldn't be in striking range, but rather in clinching/grappling range. She then, with great smug "I AM SO RIGHT BECAUSE I AM A WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR! GRAARRR!" attitude, said, "I'm pretty sure I can escape from you, because what you do is for sport."

I raised a gentle eyebrow and said, "I'd test your theories, but well... you're a girl."

Later that evening while in the backyard on the lawn, we were sitting down she must've been horribly offended by me calling her a girl, but she brought it up again and I said, "Well alright then, I'll test out your theories."

So I walked over to her and placed myself in her guard. She attempted to kick me off, but moving to halfguard, I was able to hold her down. While she struggled I jumped to mount and just sat on her while she futilely tried to gouge my eyes. Unfortunately, my optical organs are out of her reach. With her arms up that high, I throw my leg around and gogoplata her from mount. Not completely choking her, but just with my leg on her chest/throat so she'd stop trying to sit up. All the while yelling, "THIS IS SPARTAAAA!!!!" (because she hated 300).

She then tried to rip my scrotum off (Another one of those gems RBSD people teach I guess) somehow through my jeans but I just ended up getting blue balls from the half-assed handjob she was trying to give me. I swatted her arms away and throwing both arms up in the air yelled, "I AM KAMANDI! I ART THE LAST BOY! I ART THE LAST BOY!"

She was furious. She then tried to BITE MY SHIN at that point. Again, through my jeans. After a few minutes I got off of her and said, "You should get a refund."

To which she replied, "Well, you didn't actually rape me."

And I replied with, "I still could if you want."

Cliffs: I attempt rape but end up shouting out geeky expletives and prove to an overzealous feminazi that I am way cooler than her bullshit self-defense classes with my sport skills and I get a half hand-job.

**Vorpal** · Posted On: 5/21/2009 7:16pm

Holy **** you are the biggest loser ever. You got out of some drunk girl's guard?
The only reason you didn't get your ass stomped by an onlooking guy is because they probably thought you were her butch girlfriend.
Goddamn.

Kill self now please.

**han090** · Posted On: 5/21/2009 7:21pm

That's a fantastic story. It had sport vs street debate, and someone with ridiculous self defence notions getting owned (not to mention the suggested implication of rape, and oppressing women!).

But why would the twin towers attack change people's opinions on women's self defence classes?

Edit: Though, i should clarify having read the above post, the actual process involved in getting out of her gaurd seems like it would have been minimal....if even existant at all.

**Dr. Sleepless** · Posted On: 5/21/2009 7:24pm

Originally Posted by Vorpal

Holy **** you are the biggest loser ever. You got out of some drunk girl's guard?
The only reason you didn't get your ass stomped by an onlooking guy is because they probably thought you were her butch girlfriend.
Goddamn.

Kill self now please.

Cry harder. Cry more. Little bitch.

That's a fantastic story. It had sport vs street debate, and someone with ridiculous self defence notions getting owned (not to mention the suggested implication of rape, and oppressing women!)

But why would the twin towers attack change people's opinions on women's self defence classes?

Not the point.

People get all upset because some guy gets stabbed in the head, but not when I pretend rape a girl? Was it in the delivery?

**Foolish** · Posted On: 5/21/2009 7:43pm

Originally Posted by Sirc

People get all upset because some guy gets stabbed in the head, but not when I pretend rape a girl? Was it in the delivery?

It was both the delivery and the content. You didn't mention anyone being underage, getting pink bellies, or group assault. Please edit your story to include any or all of these and see what response you get.

**Dr. Sleepless** · Posted On: 5/21/2009 8:46pm

Originally Posted by Foolish

It was both the delivery and the content. You didn't mention anyone being underage, getting pink bellies, or group assault. Please edit your story to include any or all of these and see what response you get.

I think you understand my point. So you get a shiny +rep worth like 25 points.

**Hedgehogey** · Posted On: 5/21/2009 8:50pm

I dunno. Maybe it's because you chose the single dickiest way to prove her wrong?

**Dr. Sleepless** · Posted On: 5/21/2009 9:00pm

Originally Posted by Hedgehogey

I dunno. Maybe it's because you chose the single dickiest way to prove her wrong?

But they're calling the other guy a child molester? Seriously I reenacted how I'd imagine I'd rape somebody (note how poor my skills are at that) and I get like 20 +reps and 7 pages of hahahahahahas?

He gets stabbed and then gets called a child molester. Seems a bit stupid to me.