Page 1 of 2 12 Last
  1. #1
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    Facebook Forkery - Triangle Jokes

    Yeah I said "Forkery" because we're not supposed to have titles with the word "****" in them. I really meant "Fuckery", in case this slipped past your inestimable mental faculties.

    Anyway, a while back we ran an ad on Facebook for our Bullshido page. Why do we have a page on Facebook? Well that's because they have around eleventy billion members and we've got only 85,000 as of this post.

    People with Facebook accounts get to click a nifty little thumb icon or some other nonsense, and they autotragically become our bestest friends forever and a week. Then their friends (or e-friends, for some who are socially challenged), see a nifty little update on their pages about how much wood we give their good old buddy from boot camp/band camp/fat camp. And then they join up too, so we can have the pleasure of their acquaintence.

    Now that I've laid out our entire Facebook marketing strategy in the simplest language imaginable in order to explain the backstory to this joke, which will likely pre-emptively kill it due to its unnecessary length, here's the gag which will go over the heads of anyone who doesn't use the faceybooky.

    Naa, screw it, I'll explain that too, why stop typing while I'm already ahead?

    Some annoying group has an annoying page they've advertised with an annoying test that's supposed to somehow "scare you". Which is goddamn stupid because I haven't been afraid of triangles since I was 19 months and a stupid muppet monster was screaming at me through my television about them.

    Anyway, here's the dumbass ad:



    And to make a long story short(er at least), here's the ad of ours that Facebook pulled because it was "innacurate" or some other such nonsense:



    How the hell is that not accurate? Results may very well scare you, especially if you're unaware that your guard pass is a good way to get choked. And the fact that the ad went to the Bullshido page, where we educate people about dangers like this, is even doubly "accurate".

    So I've come to the conclusion that Facebook's staff does Catch Wrestling and watches the WWE in their breakroom. They also, by my irrefutable inductive skills, drink their own pee.

    If none of this makes sense to you at this point because you were in a vagina when the first series of Gracie Jiujitsu tapes came out, here's a simpler explanation:



    That was a guard pass Rorion taught. It can be useful if done right, but it's extremely easy to bungle and end up...

    ...you guessed it (we're giving you the benefit of the doubt that you did)...

    ...Triangled.

    And now, every time someone gets triangle choked while attempting that pass, an angel gets his blue belt.

    That's one hell of a round-about way of asking you facebook jerks to become our fans. And while you're at it, become fans of Rupture Clothing too, because they kick ass and Tapout is for douchebags.

  2. #2
    AKRhino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Fairbanks, Alaska
    Posts
    555
    Style
    Brazillian Jiu Jitsu
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Wait a minute... SO.... TapouT is for Douchebags? Uh oh....

  3. #3
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    You must have missed the memo.

    Spoiler:
    It went out in 2003, you weren't here.

  4. #4
    danniboi07's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    626, California
    Posts
    1,250
    Style
    Judo, BJJ
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Phrost View Post
    That was a guard pass Rorion taught. It can be useful if done right, but it's extremely easy to bungle and end up...

    ...you guessed it (we're giving you the benefit of the doubt that you did)...

    ...Triangled.
    HAHAHAHAH yeah yeah.

    After I learned the pass, I thought I'd be badass and try it out at Judo. (note I was still yonkyu at the time and everyone I randori-d with was at least nikyu.....as if that's an excuse).

    Needless to say I found the downfall of this pass. Lesson well learned.
    "The pedant is he who finds it impossible to read criticism of himself without immediately reaching for his pen and replying to the effect that the accusation is a gross insult to his person. He is, in effect, a man unable to laugh at himself."Sigmund Freud, The Ego and the Id.


  5. #5
    1point2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    4,348
    Style
    BJJ blue, judo ikkyu
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    That's a clever ad. Bummer.

    What's the replacement?
    What a disgrace it is for a man to grow old without ever seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable. -Xenophon's Socrates

  6. #6
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Empty space. Our advertising budget right now is a protein bar and good intentions.

    And I ate the protein bar.

  7. #7
    danniboi07's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    626, California
    Posts
    1,250
    Style
    Judo, BJJ
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    oh, turns out I'm already a fan, awesome
    "The pedant is he who finds it impossible to read criticism of himself without immediately reaching for his pen and replying to the effect that the accusation is a gross insult to his person. He is, in effect, a man unable to laugh at himself."Sigmund Freud, The Ego and the Id.


  8. #8
    Kid Miracleman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Parts Unknown!
    Posts
    3,249
    Style
    On Hiatus
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Phrost View Post
    They also, by my irrefutable inductive skills, drink their own pee.
    This can't be right. If they drank their own pee, it would mean that they're Shotokan practitioners who are ALSO BJJ black belts, and would therefore understand your irascible wit.

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    351
    Style
    BJJ
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Stupid Army combatives still preach that pass.

    It got me triangled the first time I rolled at the BJJ school I train at.

  10. #10
    The gift that keeps on giving supporting member
    Steve's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Posts
    4,205
    Style
    On hiatus

Page 1 of 2 12 Last

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Log in

Log in
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO