Post the Most Impractical Weapon You Own!

**Scrapper** · Posted On: 4/28/2009 3:12pm

This thing. raven arms MP-25. Underpowered, prone to mechanical failure, and horribly inaccurate. It istiny though, and easily fits in my Sporran.

But then again, pimpin' aint easy; and any fool can roll hard with an uzi. Only Black Caesar and Dolemite could make this piece look badass.

**Japuma630** · Posted On: 4/29/2009 2:40pm

Originally Posted by Cy Q. Faunce

I would have done it right away, but I had no digital pictures of the thing.

Behold the Dorkmeister 2000:

Sorry for its condition, but I made it in 1990 and I haven't done much with it since but keep it in a locked box.

The Dorkmeister 2000 started out as a Marlin Goose Gun, a bolt-action shotgun in 12-gauge with a two-shot magazine. I modified it in an attempt to make the Infantry Weapon of the Dork Future. (Back then, 2000 was the future.)

The soldier of the future cannot aim, so we have only the bead sight, and it is obscured by the barrel shroud, which will surely be necessary when the gun is fired many times in the heat of battle. Also, it looks cool!

You can't fire it too many times, though. Twelve-gauge rounds are heavy, so the bolt-action mechanism is necessary in order to establish fire discipline.

This limited rate of fire, combined with the relatively short effective range of the shotgun, may lead to many close combat situations. Never fear, however! We have thoughtfully provided a bayonet lug:

It used to have a ten-round extended magazine fashioned from the lower part of an AR-10 magazine and the feed lips of a Goose Gun magazine, but that got lost some time ago. I also meant to give it a tactical black plastic stock, but I was poor in my student days, and have not done it since.

The bidding begins at $12 million for the distribution rights.

You're Dwight Schrute, aren't you?

I have one of these goose guns in original condition, and i feel that it is not useless enough for my taste...so, how much for the conversion kit?

**Cy Q. Faunce** · Posted On: 4/29/2009 3:12pm

Originally Posted by Japuma630

I have one of these goose guns in original condition, and i feel that it is not useless enough for my taste...so, how much for the conversion kit?

Probably not expensive. The barrel shroud is from a Mossberg 500. The bayonet lug...I forget. I'll see if I can find my notes tonight. The barrel was just a quick truncation job in a machine shop with some careful polishing and reblueing. AR-10 magazines now are easier to get than they were then.