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  1. Kentucky Fried Chokin is offline
    Kentucky Fried Chokin's Avatar

    Portrait of a BJJer as a Young Man

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    May 2007
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Posts
    5,450

    Posted On:
    6/23/2009 8:08pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Now accepting gas money. And money for the bus to get there.
  2. MrBadGuy is offline
    MrBadGuy's Avatar

    King of the Impossible

    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Seven Seas of Rhye
    Posts
    2,902

    Posted On:
    6/23/2009 10:12pm

    supporting member
     Style: Grapplomancer

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Oh jeez, it hasn't even been a month yet! You guys realize I'm about to catch up with current events? And I'll have NOTHING to write about after that, with the exception of the occasional zany things? You should be thanking me for prolonging this so.
  3. resolve is online now

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    238

    Posted On:
    6/23/2009 10:19pm


     Style: Judo / Boxing

    1
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Get your friends to spar with your dad. That should be lulz-worthy!
  4. DKJr is offline
    DKJr's Avatar

    Fasten your seat belts, and prepare for lift off

    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Richmond, VA
    Posts
    3,214

    Posted On:
    6/23/2009 10:50pm

    supporting member
     Style: Combat Cuddling

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    MBG you've betrayed the LAWL!
  5. beardedtaco is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    South Africa
    Posts
    326

    Posted On:
    6/24/2009 4:17am


     Style: BJJ/MT/MMA

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    ....need....fix....
  6. Gbemi is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Brooklyn, New York
    Posts
    310

    Posted On:
    6/24/2009 8:20am


     Style: BJJ (faixa branca)

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by MrBadGuy View Post
    Oh jeez, it hasn't even been a month yet! You guys realize I'm about to catch up with current events? And I'll have NOTHING to write about after that, with the exception of the occasional zany things? You should be thanking me for prolonging this so.

    Good sir,

    If you were to take to writing Bulldinke fiction, you would be lauded here. Lack of actual material is therefore no reason to deny us moar!!
  7. MrBadGuy is offline
    MrBadGuy's Avatar

    King of the Impossible

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    Oct 2007
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    Seven Seas of Rhye
    Posts
    2,902

    Posted On:
    6/24/2009 8:35am

    supporting member
     Style: Grapplomancer

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Forever Fat II Part Two Act One: Forces of Victory

    I start off frequenting just the BJJ classes, to test the waters. A few days after having joined, I meet Evil Twin. Now, evil twin is not evil by any standard, other than by virtue of being extremely similar to myself. We're the exact same rank, same size and weight, build, penis size, and we even have similar jobs. He and I have many epic battles, and good times are generally had.

    After becoming a little more confident, I gathered all the courage and gutsiness I could muster and adventured into the kickboxing class. Since my previous blunders at the Houston Throwdown, I knew I needed something like this. My striking was subpar at best, and this would surely remedy that situation.

    The composition of the class is completely different, and taught by a different person than the BJJ classes. I get to start over on being weirdo-awkward-guy-no-one-wants-to-work-or-spar-with-but-they-begrudgingly-have-to-when-their-friends-pair-up-with-someone-else, but I've been the WAGNOWTWOSWBTBHTWTFPUWSE so many times I know how to play my role.

    We start off doing combinations while our partner holds the pads. It becomes apparent that laying on the ground and scuttling about isn't that great of a cardio work out, and I'm gasping like a fish being strangled out of water. We continue doing combinations for a good period of the class, and then we move on to sparring.

    I shove in my mouth piece, that tastes a little weird after having been fermenting with my boxing gloves and wraps for a few months. I know that if I've already tasted it its too late to wash it off, but I do so anyway.

    My first partner forgot his mouth piece, so it was pulled punching. He was very nice, and helpful, and gave me tips that I put into use that very same night. I made a mental note to barnacle on to this man next class.

    My second partner is a tiny fireplug of a man. He's shorter than I am, which is saying something. The instructor tells me to try and work him on the end of my punches, and tells him it is a necessity to try and close the distance. I work my advice while he works his; his tiny wittle arms miss my face and I just try to regain the feeling of a good jab. He punches again, I step back, ready to pepper him, and THWACK. Right straight to the forehead. It doesn't hurt, but it was surprising. I know I haven't landed anything that hard on him, and it certainly makes me realize how much work I need.

    We switch again, and this time I'm paired up with one of the more advanced students in the class. Thus far, I have thrown 0 kicks in sparring. I, in my stubborn, naive thought pattern, thought that I could get by with boxing principles in a kickboxing class. This guy was apparently put on this earth not only to beat my ass, but to show me that kicks are amazing. He said he came from a Shotokan background, so I didn't know what to expect other than elusiveness.

    He kicked me unmercifully. I landed 0 punches, and was his kicking bag for 5 minutes. The one time I managed to put him in a corner, he leaned against the wall and front kicked me in the gut, and it took all of my manliness and pride not to weep like that time Uncle Gropey got a little too friendly.

    He got me with roundhouses, front kicks, spinning back kicks, jumping spinning back kicks, side kicks, any sort of kick you can think of, he landed, and hard. There was no point sparring in his kicks, and if he wasn't holding back, god knows how I would've faired. I abandon my boxing only approach to life; I have been forcibly shown that its called "kicking ass" for a reason.

    The class finishes with a series of stations, with medicine balls, kettle bells, pads, bags, and a whole mess of other things. I've lost all feeling in my body. After the finishing ab work out, I stumble into my car. The next morning my midsection looks like a panda orgy. But thats alright.

    Next time, Forever Fat II Part Two Act Two: Illumination
  8. MrBadGuy is offline
    MrBadGuy's Avatar

    King of the Impossible

    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Seven Seas of Rhye
    Posts
    2,902

    Posted On:
    6/24/2009 8:37am

    supporting member
     Style: Grapplomancer

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Gbemi View Post
    Good sir,

    If you were to take to writing Bulldinke fiction, you would be lauded here. Lack of actual material is therefore no reason to deny us moar!!
    That could go very bad. I've been cursed blessed with interesting stories to write about. I don't know if I could create interesting things, and it could easily turn all crappy. I thank you for the vote of confidence, though.
  9. 7thSamurai is offline
    7thSamurai's Avatar

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Austin, Tx
    Posts
    730

    Posted On:
    6/24/2009 10:45am


     Style: BJJ, Striking, TKD

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I look forward to kicking you soon.
  10. Kuma is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    359

    Posted On:
    6/24/2009 12:54pm


     Style: blunt trauma

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Isn't "panda orgy" a contradiction in terms?

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