Bi-Annual Commandoes

[AMF]

**WARNING RANT TO FOLLOW**

Having been in two different branches of the military, Army and Navy (don’t ask it’s a long story) and currently at 20 years of service I have to get this off my chest.

We are preached at constantly to lead a “culture of fitness”.
We are told, read: ordered, that we need to be physically fit and to take the time to work out: no problem I take that order to heart and am in the gym year around.
I combine resistance training in various flavors with cardiovascular training and round it all out with stretching and core work. I like to work out and it is my outlet for stress relief. On top of that it doesn’t seem that hard to me to go and work out, we have to anyway.

But what pisses me the **** off is the bi-annual commandoes.

Those in the service know who I am talking about.

The ones who only go to the gym, at best, twice a year, a week or two before the physical fitness assessment. They puff themselves up, waddle in there, do some bench presses, and plod along the treadmill or bike. They are the ones at weigh-in time who suck in their gut, flex out their neck, and sweat bullets to make body fat in accordance with the body mass index chart. They do the absolute bare fucking minimum on test day to pass and look like they’re about to keel over from cardio pulmonary failure at the end of it all. If they don’t happen to make weight, or fail an event – push ups/sit ups/ run – out come the excuses, just like assholes;

- I have bad knees
- I have bad ankles
- I have bad wrists
- My shoulder hurts
- I am sick with congestion
- I gotta quit smoking
- My shin splints hurt
- My shoes are worn out
- I had a bad day
- I didn’t get enough sleep last night
- I didn’t eat breakfast
- Et Cetera, Et Cetera

Incidentally they are also the ones who suck down sodas throughout the day like water. They are the first ones in the chow line who get a portion of everything on the line and go back for seconds on desserts.

To me this is simply ridiculous. If they were to go the gym at least 3 times a week, and watch what they eat, and do nothing more than body weight exercises (push ups/ sit ups/ pull ups/ dips and run) they wouldn’t struggle so much on test day.
I don’t think everyone in the service should be in the weight room 5 days a week, b/c not everyone will enjoy lifting weights.
As my kinesiology teacher told me, the best exercise to do is the exercise that you will do. (Meaning find something you enjoy physical fitness-wise, and do it at a minimum three days a week; weights/biking/rowing/racket ball/stair climbing/functional exercises/nautilus/circuit training/what-ever)

But yet there they are without fail prior to the test, straining and struggling; clogging up the weight room causing those of us who are there on a regular basis to interrupt our routines waiting for them to get done off the various equipment. And after the test; they are gone like ghosts, not to be seen again until the next test. Sneaky bastards.

Maybe I am just getting old and cranky, but I don’t see why they can’t make it a fucking priority to be fit.

[ignatzami]

It's because they be lazy..... college gyms have the same. Though they tend to flit in the week after thanksgiving and new years.

[Ka-Bar]

It's because there are no immediate consequences if they're not fit. Unless you're in a combat arms unit, most of your day is spent filling out paperwork, using the computer, or fixing something in a shop.

They don't have to be in shape to do their jobs, and since they only have to pass the PFT test once every six months, they don't have to stay in shape to keep it.

I was in a support MOS and we almost never PTed. Unless you count driving to get everyone burritos for lunch and playing basketball on Fridays as PT. Then we got a new XO who came from an infantry battalion who PTed us til our assholes were sucking buttermilk. We had PT every day, mock PFTs monthly and got adsep'd if we didn't pass the PFT or make weight. There was actually a culture of fitness and actual consequences to being out of shape. The guys who wanted to keep their jobs worked hard and got in shape. Those who didn't, didn't.