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Thread: Spy-jitsu

  1. #1
    RegularJoe's Avatar
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    Spy-jitsu

    Well..
    I was sitting around with some friends last night watching old Pride DVDs, and out of nowhere one of of my drunk friends looked at the screen and made the comment:

    "Jason Bourne could kick both their asses! He knows that Israeli stuff!"

    I proceeded to try to correct him, and before I knew it the room was alive with a hot-blooded debate on which martial art CIA spies would be trained in.

    I tried to tell them that most CIA agents work behind a desk shuffling intel and getting papercuts, but the seed was planted and I quickly got drawn into throwing out martial arts as well.

    We've all seen the movies where some ultra-elite dude snaps a guys neck from behind or dispatches two or three guys with guns as they try to handcuff him.

    I know its all Hollywood bullshit, but deep down somewhere in my busom I really want to beleive that the government has guys that are trained to fight their way out of a cave barehanded, choking Hadjis with their own beards.

    So, I'm going to pose the question here, which martial art do you guys think they train our ultra-elite, sentry-dispatching, woman garroting, secret agents in?

    Cheers.

    :jihad:

  2. #2

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    Wing Chun.

  3. #3
    Guess which finger is the fickle one... supporting member
    FickleFingerOfFate's Avatar
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    TaeKwonDo mixed with Aikido,



    so, Mixed Martial Arts.














    (Remember to calibrate your sarcasm meter before you blow an anurism)
    If you can't laugh at yourself,
    Others will be happy to do it for you. :evil6:

    The 2 most abundant elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.



  4. #4
    It is Fake's Avatar
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    Josh Oakley would like to talk to you right now.

  5. #5
    Guess which finger is the fickle one... supporting member
    FickleFingerOfFate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by It is Fake
    Josh Oakley would like to talk to you right now.




    Sorry,


    I'm busy axe-kicking terrorist sleeper cells to death.


    :icon_wink
    If you can't laugh at yourself,
    Others will be happy to do it for you. :evil6:

    The 2 most abundant elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.



  6. #6
    RegularJoe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FiveFingerDiscount

    (Remember to calibrate your sarcasm meter before you blow an anurism)


    But..
    ..hunh?

  7. #7
    DdlR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RegularJoe

    I know its all Hollywood bullshit, but deep down somewhere in my busom I really want to beleive that the government has guys that are trained to fight their way out of a cave barehanded, choking Hadjis with their own beards.

    So, I'm going to pose the question here, which martial art do you guys think they train our ultra-elite, sentry-dispatching, woman garroting, secret agents in?

    Cheers.

    :jihad:
    Back in the day, it was Fairbairn's Defendu ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defendu ):

    YouTube - Fairbairn and Applegate conducting OSS Training at the Unite

  8. #8
    Coach Josh's Avatar
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    Actually its not a martial art that they would have to practice but a mind set. I am being serious. Given that situation they would have to have just not give a ****. Meaning its kill or be killed. If you can hit it ,hit it, if you can break it, break it.

    In other words the style would be violence. Bring down a mess of hate and discontent on them like the Lord himself is on a drunken wife beating bender.
    Judo is only gentle for the guy on top.

  9. #9
    escrimador6's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RegularJoe
    "Jason Bourne could kick both their asses! He knows that Israeli stuff!"
    Tell your friends that they don't know **** about ****. It was Panantukan (Filipino dirty boxing) they used in the Bourne movies, not Israel anything. After you point that out, any time they try to argue about super-spy martial arts, just point out that they don't know **** about martial arts.

  10. #10

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    I've heard through second and third hand accounts that the kids at Langley experimented with a stripped down version of Krav Maga, but I've seen no unclass docs that verify or refute that.

    On the DVD of the movie "The Recruit" (Farrell/Pacino), there's a short documentary that shows some form of improvised weapons training as part of the program at Camp Peary, but there wasn't enough footage to be able to say "That's BJJ" or some such. Interesting footage though.

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