My friend is a bullshidoka...
So, I've found myself in a moral dilemma.
First, some background info:
This new guy started work with us at the beginning of the summer. You know the type....outwardly confident, seems intelligent, dropped out of university after one semester, total ladies man, and a heavy smoker/drinker. The guy really had no structure to his life at all. Between his constant partying and consecutive nights spent getting trashed at the bar, the guy's life was basically a total mess.
Not surprisingly, he ended up leaving his job with us under some suspicious circumstances (I still think he got fired). Anyway, just before he left, he mentioned to me that he'd started studying kenpo at a school near his house, mostly because "the teacher is this totally hot girl, dude." That's the last I heard of him before he left.
Fast forward a few months later, and I'm at a special work-related dinner function, and he's there too. I go up to him and ask how he's been doing, and he just goes off about how much this kenpo school has changed his life. He looks great, says he's quit smoking, kicked the booze, and doesn't go out every night anymore. Great, I think! Sounds like the guy has found some much needed positive change in his life. Then he goes on to demonstrate some of the moves he's learned, and to make a long story short....total BS. Like, Jim Carey's Karate scene BS. "No no, you have to attack me like this..."
He goes on to tell me that he just got his first belt, and plans to take as many tests as he can afford in the next month or two, so he can quit his job and enroll in the instructor's course and become a teacher. I tried to be as polite as possible with my questions, but it seems like the size of your wallet is what gets you a promotion at this place. I was shocked that someone with ~4 months experience (6 if you count the two months he was going to spend doing all his tests) could enroll in an instructor's class and potentially become a teacher.
Anyway, my dilemma is this: do I tell the guy that his training is total garbage and that he's wasting time and money? I'm worried that if I do, he'll end up back in the destructive lifestyle he had before. Bullshido or not, his new interest in martial arts has had a large positive impact on his life. And if you add up all the money he used to spend on booze and cigarettes, he's probably just about breaking even having to pay for all those testing fees.
So would you break him the news and risk that he'd lose himself again, or would you just let him go on doing what he's doing, letting the positives outweigh the negatives?
Gong Sau solves everything.
"When in doubt (gong sau and) choke them out"!
Tell him that you admire the positive change he made in his life and that this is a good thing but his idea to become an instructor is BS, as his MA. If he likes the training he should stay but he should quit the idea of being good at "fighting" and becoming an instructor.
PS: You are welcome and this life altering piece of advice costs you only 99.99$ plus tax.
If he's an adult, and a friend, share your experience with him
then bong sau brah!
Hey, Skepticus, let your friend train his kenpo, but, you could give him the hint to add bjj or judo to his kenpo training. Once your friend starts to real train in bjj or judo, he will see the light.
He's enjoying himself, and he has slowed down the drinking and smoking. It's more important to take better care of your health than the effectiveness of his martial art. Be happy for him, but if you feel the need, take him to a BJJ class. I tried it, didn't like it.
I disagree, a bartender that i work with quit doing judo and wrestling back in the day to take the "real" martial art of ninjitsu, then regailed me about how eye gouges and come alongs were better because they worked when he was a bouncer against plastered people. some people will always be more enamored with "t3h d43dly" even with all the awesomeness of alive training being flung at their face. OP, ur best best IMHO is to ask him if he wants to do some light sparring. beat up on him and frustrate him, and let him know that you aren't necessarily a naturally better fighter or anything, you just study an art with a better training methodology.
Originally Posted by Beezer
It sounds like he just needed some structure and motivation in his life. The style probably doesn't matter much. Invite him to a BJJ class. Maybe you can convert him.
Can't decide which evil black rifle to buy? My thoughts.
I'm not giving you my opinion, I'm telling you how it is.
The MA he's doing is obvious bullshido as far as self defence quality, but look at it as if he's doing tai chi, it's obviously doing very positive things for the other parts of his life. As long as he doesnt go getting into fights everything will be fine, and if he does, he'll only do it once and probably avoid fights from then on, unless ofcourse you live somewhere where self defence is a necessity.
For anyone that ever doubted that BJJ would be effective against them (I'm tiny, like 155pounds / 70kg) I say "come to a lesson, I'll show you".
I can't do that with Kyokushin, people tend to wuss out at the idea of me hitting them and possibly corking their leg (plus that kind of thing isn't in me). But making them tap, over and over in the space of 3 mins speaks in droves.
So invite him to a lesson, see what he thinks, he may wish to cross train.
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