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  1. #1

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    MA in the lord of the rings

    Hey, ppl, check this out:
    Martial arts in the lord of the rings

    :D
    However, it doesn't say which style does Sauron practique, and he's the movie's main badass.
    Consider:
    He's the strategic genius of the books, and he only grunts ("Uuuuughhaaaa!!!!")
    Anyone who has a title with the word "Dark" is a badass (even the Dark McDonald's Manager of Doom)
    He has a lead armor, lives in the middle of a lightning storm and he's so badass he doesn't care.
    He has minions (the almost uber-test of coolnes...only blade is cooler without minions).

  2. #2

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    Cool, I love when people put thought into something, specially a movie.

  3. #3

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    Yes, it's great, isn't Ronin?
    That's the diference between making a consistent world, with true beauty, and making a movie about some HollyWood chaps prancing around waving swords...

  4. #4

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    Sauron is a ninja. Thats why you never see him on screen.
    The Wastrel - So attractive he HAS to be a woman.
    - Pizdoff

  5. #5

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    let's break it down the bullshido way:

    1. Elves: aikido and wushu. suits their tall, skinny bodies and graceful yet slightly gay style. tree-hugging ways blends well with aikido philosophy. also good for keeping them from getting their pretty costumes dirty and prevent them from getting their pretty faces busted up.

    2. Orcs: amateur wrestling. perfect for the short, ugly, smelly orcs with their low center of gravity and propensity for eating human flesh.

    3. Gandalf and Saruman: qigong. used for chi blasts, astral projection, ability to talk to animals, etc. new age feeling also suited for Gandalf's propensity to smoke pipe-weed.

    4. Saruman: mega-qigong. saruman is powerful enough to have left his body but he needs the ring to reincarnate himself as a more powerful being.

    5. Hobbits: kiddie karate/TKD. self-explanatory.

    6. men: bare-knuckles boxing and pro wrestling. the most manly of martial arts.

    7. Uruk-hai: xing yi. go straight ahead and demolish everything in their path. (gotta give my styles its props!)

  6. #6

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    nice except in #4 i think you meant sauron, not saruman.

    loser. your dork privileges are revoked for 90 days.

  7. #7
    Mostly, I just sit here. Mostly. hall of famestaff
    Stick's Avatar
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    dork privileges?

    Anywho, rmemeber on Rec.martial.arts, this came up before.

    Gollum does Ju-jitsu. Observe, in the two towers he gets his hooks in on Sam and is going for the choke ^_^

    In the Hobbit I believe Gollum was said to have throttled many goblins, creatures pressumably larger and stronger than him.

    Gollum-Ju-Jitsu, GJJ..... known for the precious hold ^_^
    Last edited by Stick; 12/16/2003 6:01pm at .

  8. #8

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    dork privileges?

    yes, i agree, gollum is a BJJ expert. he's tall and skinny yet has a wiry strength compared to the hobbits, much as royce gracie is tall and skinny and has a wiry strength compared to the kiddie karate experts he faced in the octagon.

  9. #9

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    I cheered when Gollum choked Sam, having some BJJ in the film just made it better (and that's a hard task).

    I'm glad to see he spent his 500 years training in something usefull.
    "You realise the transformations give a man enough strength to destroy a truck with his bare hands!?
    YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME, IN THE WORST POSSIBLE MANNER!!" - KiWarrior

    "Sport ? That kind of thing's not my bag baby!" - Sammy Franco

    "This system was developed with the help of notible BJJ fighter Ribbon Muchado." - "Sifu" Anthony Iglesias

  10. #10
    Mostly, I just sit here. Mostly. hall of famestaff
    Stick's Avatar
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    Well, to say it was BJJ is a bit much. Lot's of styles use hooks and chokes.

    Anywho, I think GJJ works best, avoids conflict with limp wristed geeks who study tai-chi and don't want to hear about some character they named their invisible friend after doing a style that actually involves hard work ratther than chi....

    Hmmm, I may have said too much out loud there.....

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