Most Useless Martial Art

**Tonuzaba** · Posted On: 10/14/2010 9:45pm

Originally Posted by jamresa

...My Krav Maga instinct immediately shouted "thumb to the eyeball then grab that steak knife and go to town". My Muay Thai instinct said "oh, crap...she's in the way so I can't do anything"...

If you can put thumb into eyeball you can also put fist to jaw, I believe.
Or did the guy have a head like this?

**mrbigglesworth** · Posted On: 10/14/2010 10:00pm

Hey goodlun i get what you mean. If it happened for real and it worked then chances are that his form was balls but it worked nonetheless he says. Oh and wing chun do is probably my vote. Even aikido works sometimes

**BackFistMonkey** · Posted On: 10/14/2010 10:52pm

hahahahahaha

You are a fucking insecure over reactive drama queen who sucks at life, MT, marriage, and basic common sense. Yet you somehow manage to rock your compliant Ninja skills all hardcore.

Good job man.

I bet your wife sucked your balls dry for you when you got home.
Right?

No wait I bet she dropped to her knees right there and blew you in the bar for protecting her honor.

Originally Posted by jamresa

As somebody who studied Ninjutsu long ago, I see the humor in that. But I wouldn't completely write it off as a joke. With that said, I'm trained in Krav Maga, Muay Thai and to a very, very lesser extent (from my college days) Ninjutsu.

One night I was with my wife at a bar. Some smart-a*s started flirting with my wife and grabbed her by the shoulders to pull her toward him. Now, I had many options. My Krav Maga instinct immediately shouted "thumb to the eyeball then grab that steak knife and go to town". My Muay Thai instinct said "oh, crap...she's in the way so I can't do anything". But my body immediately went to Ura Gyaku - one of the most basic, simple, non-compound Ninjutsu techniques a novice can easily pick up. Once he was face down on the floor with his arm locked under my crotch, I could've done anything to him...literally. I could've stomped the back of his neck or steak-knifed him to death had I pleased, and he couldn't have done a darn thing about it. (Obviously, as a true practitioner I did neither.)

The point is, when the s**t really hits the fan your brain will immediately revert to what it thinks it knows is the best for the situation. In this case it was something I hadn't practiced in over 10 years.

**Katriona1992** · Posted On: 10/30/2010 7:43pm

Originally Posted by Tonuzaba

If you can put thumb into eyeball you can also put fist to jaw, I believe.
Or did the guy have a head like this?

AHAHAHAHHA......this coupled with your fairy dp made me laugh soooo much. Good one bro :toothy5:

**charlie echo** · Posted On: 1/20/2011 5:13pm

Wushu, tai chi, WTF TKD (if Olympic only).

While most, if not nearly all, Aikido people suck, Aikido itself does not suck

**Tonuzaba** · Posted On: 1/20/2011 5:15pm

Originally Posted by charlie echo

...While most, if not nearly all, Aikido people suck, Aikido itself does not suck

Because it cannot suck. It has no mouth. It needs to possess minions to be able to suck, which it usually does succesfully.
:-)

**Boneless** · Posted On: 2/02/2011 6:29pm

i would not spend 10 years on any involving a bad teacher that promotes fantasy fighting
and claiming they have been in 100+ streetfights so THEY KNOW EVERYTHING attitude

just my take on the topic

**paci-fist** · Posted On: 3/04/2011 10:43pm

Originally Posted by jamresa

My Krav Maga instinct immediately shouted "thumb to the eyeball then grab that steak knife and go to town". My Muay Thai instinct said "oh, crap...she's in the way so I can't do anything".

"My inner fung shui practitioner said "hit them both with that chair, then put it by the window where it will diffuse negative energy and encourage prosperity"... while my nagging sense of regret told me once again, "should have married Betty. Sure she was dumb, but she was fun, you know? And conversation is overrated, isn't it? Look at Wanda just standing there, expecting me to do something. Not like she does anything for me anymore...". My WoW elfling character piped in with "you know you should really buy some invincibility armour before you fight these two"...

**linguino** · Posted On: 4/16/2011 1:30pm

well, it oughta be christian martial arts. Those guys are scary... or this dude.

**dwkfym** · Posted On: 4/16/2011 1:48pm

lol whats up with the belly tee?

They didn't even have the wherewithall to at least try to make the forms look cool. It looks like my friend's 5 year old daughter trying to mimick a form I showed her.

On a side note, this is the first time I've felt nauseous from watching a youtube video. I'm not sure if its the content or the stupid shaky camerawork.