How to integrate women into class

**Skillful** · Posted On: 9/06/2008 7:53am

Have them work with smaller, more experienced guys at first who can roll very smooth. I think this is true for all new students though, not just female. If they can handle this (some can't), tell the training partners to stop being so nice. If they can handle this, keep them and let them work together if they like, so long as they go hard. If they don't want to go hard, send them home.

Where I train, we have 1 girl who trains MMA (she's currently a BJJ World Champion at blue belt) and 1 girl who is a legit brown belt (was purple World Champ in 2007 and took 3rd in brown/black this year). If I took it easy on either of them, they'd take my elbow home in their gym bag. Then we have a few ladies who train occasionally, pick and choose training partners, and ask whoever they roll with to not go super hard (one of them really was afraid of getting choked for a while, but she got over it). They are great training partners for sharpening up techniques on the ground, but would never come to Vale Tudo class and I refuse their requests to be their training partner for the 6 weeks before any competition because I need to go hard. That's what works for us at the place I train. Not sure if it helps.

**Meson** · Posted On: 9/06/2008 8:17am

Originally Posted by bigfatnerd

Has anyone here encountered any 'partners' (wife/husband, girlfriend/boyfriend, h/h, w/w, g/g, b/b, how very pc of me) that could train well together? Or does anyone here constructively train with their partner, and enjoy it?

I train with my wife regularly. We do most of our training together ( hard sparring/rolling, drills and weightlifting etc.). (It is pretty funny to explain my bruises :) from sparring) We just have a rule not to take the same MA classes at the same time. This allows us to avoid most of the issues that you mentioned. The other thing is that we have been doing this since we started dating, so we have had a long time to sort any issues out.

**Das Moose** · Posted On: 9/06/2008 8:45am

Originally Posted by bigfatnerd

Has anyone here encountered any 'partners' (wife/husband, girlfriend/boyfriend, h/h, w/w, g/g, b/b, how very pc of me) that could train well together? Or does anyone here constructively train with their partner, and enjoy it?

We're not together any more, but I was dating a girl who was a bjj purple and mma fighter for a while - we trained very well together, i had no problem going hard on her because if i didnt respect her ability she'd kick my ass, and we had some great rolls.

In fairness this probably isnt the normal situation you're describing as we met when we had both already been training BJJ for a few years, rather than me bringing my girlfriend along to BJJ when she'd never done anything before.

**ironfist666** · Posted On: 9/06/2008 10:15am

as far as i am concerned woman should be held to the same stardards as men. they want equal rights they should have to do everything a man has to do.

**Aesopian** · Posted On: 9/06/2008 1:59pm

Originally Posted by bigfatnerd

Has anyone here encountered any 'partners' (wife/husband, girlfriend/boyfriend, h/h, w/w, g/g, b/b, how very pc of me) that could train well together? Or does anyone here constructively train with their partner, and enjoy it?

There's a couple at my gym who got married on that mats in their gis. When they were dating, he got her into BJJ and she stuck with it. They both had two kids each from former spouses and they got all four of them training (the boys stuck with it and have orange and yellow belts; the girls went off into dance). The wife got her purple belt the same day I did and they've both got brown belts now.

But that said, I've got to agree that trying to get your uninterested significant other into BJJ is asking for disaster.

**slideyfoot** · Posted On: 9/06/2008 3:41pm

Originally Posted by Over the Hill

recently there has been some interest in training with us from some wives of the guys and a few other females.

Cool! Always good to have more women interested in combat sports. There aren't enough women in BJJ, so the more the better.

I was wondering if people have any thoughts on how to gradually introduce them to ground fighting, ways to do it without getting sued etc etc

Most of my regular training partners are women: I'm a small guy, so women are frequently the closest match for me in weight. If you have any smaller men in your gym, then as mentioned earlier, that would be useful for prospective female students.

You could also try focusing on specific sparring to start with. So rather than full sparring, do things like one person tries to pass the guard, the other tries to sweep/submit them: if either achieves their goal, you restart. Can obviously do the same with side control, mount etc.

Other things you might want to emphasise to encourage women are the fitness aspects and self defence (BJJ has clear applicability for situations like rape). However, as you already said the women were interested in taking class, that may not be necessary: wouldn't hurt to bring it up, though.

There are also inspiring examples like Penny Thomas: she has both competed and won against men, earning a silver medal in the men's brown belt division at the 2007 Triple Crown.

Has anyone here encountered any 'partners' (wife/husband, girlfriend/boyfriend, h/h, w/w, g/g, b/b, how very pc of me) that could train well together? Or does anyone here constructively train with their partner, and enjoy it?

Yes. There are four couples I can think of who train together at RGA, one of which has recently started their own school (but they still train at RGA as well).

I'd love to get my girlfriend down to class, but she isn't too keen yet. However, she has rolled with me before on our mats at home, so I'm still hopeful she might show an interest: seeing if she'd be willing to try out the university judo club is my current aim.

**Over the Hill** · Posted On: 9/06/2008 5:22pm

Originally Posted by Lily

but was met with all sorts of excuses from you, I'm quite surprised you're suddenly considering allowing women in.

Not so much excuses, more policy. Please dont take offence but we only train with people we know at this stage. Perhaps it might be time to change but it will be a matter of puting it to the group and voting on it. We arent claiming anything special but we are not exactly the trusting types.

It would be good to have some experienced ladies training with us though.

The women in question are wives of the guys already training and a few ladies that I have known for years professionally.

**Over the Hill** · Posted On: 9/06/2008 6:19pm

Originally Posted by Lily

What do you say?

Have sent a PM to you Lily. Be patient, Im frightened of strangers. We are not a commercial school but a close nit group of friends.

**JKDChick** · Posted On: 9/06/2008 8:42pm

Frankly, it might be pretty clear at this point that I'm about one step off misogynist when it comes to training.

And relationships that start in the gym are usually not effected by training. Or so I have found in my personal life.

**Libertad** · Posted On: 9/06/2008 9:48pm

Originally Posted by JKDChick

Frankly, it's the boys fault -- they should be able to perceive that not all people are the same and women are people too -- but I'm done swimming up stream on this one. Dudes who know me train hard with me, dudes who don't me learn after the 2nd uppercut and 3rd submission.

I have to admit I am quite bad with this, not so much with BJJ but I find it very difficult to hit girls.

However I know a lot of girls who are far more competent than me, its gets easier to hit them when they are obviously winning.