Bizarre martial arts related craigslist Toronto ads

**marcell** · Posted On: 8/15/2008 7:48pm

http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/bar/767580347.html

Women's Self-Defence For...

Reply to: sale-767580347@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-07-23, 10:37PM EDT

I have been training in martial arts for 11 years, and I've come to a conclusion. Self-defence is extremely, extremely simple. It is something that can be learned very quickly. How can I say that? It is because self-defence starts long before you have an encounter. I will teach you strategies that will PREVENT you from getting into situations where you have to use force in the first place. There is more to this than common sense.

Learn the effects of posture, environmental scanning, psychological preparation and other strategies for the prevention of a physical encounter. Also, what can you yell in order to have the highest chance of getting somebody to help you?

Let's say that despite all that, a physical encounter does arise. I won't leave you hanging. I will teach you 1 very simple strategy to win most street encounters. Why only 1 strategy? Because when the adrenaline is pumping, you don't want to think long about which strategy to apply, when an extra second can mean the difference between life and death.

If you are interested in this, I am willing to trade for:

NLP training,
Hypnotherapy
PUA training
Massage
Reflexology

If you have anything else to offer, I am open to suggestions.

*****This offer is only available in Richmond Hill, Thornhill, and North York.*****

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 767580347

Ok, so you know some super simple and ultra effective single strategy that will work every time, and you will only teach it to women in exchange for "services". Maybe it's just me, but it seems a little creepy.

http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/bar/755187849.html

Swimming Lessons wanted - exchange for Martial Arts lessons (North York/Scarborough/Markham)

Reply to: sale-755187849@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-07-14, 8:02PM EDT

Hi,

I need to learn how to swim. I have a pool in my condo and would be available on Mondays and/or Wednesdays to learn.

In exchange, I can offer martial arts lessons in any one of the following:
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Muay Thai Kickboxing, Women's Self Defense, Judo, Mixed Martial Arts.

I operate a highly accomplished Mixed Martial Arts gym in the GTA where you could train in exchange for swimming lessons. If you are interested, please leave me your name, phone number, and credentials in your reply.

Location: North York/Scarborough/Markham
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 755187849

You know "Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Muay Thai Kickboxing, Women's Self Defense, Judo, Mixed Martial Arts" and "operate a highly accomplished Mixed Martial Arts gym in the GTA" yet there is no one at your gym that can teach you how to swim at your condo, nor can you afford the meager amount you could pay to a swimming instructor at one of the GTA or outskirts hundreds of rec centres? Is it just me, or is there something "fishy" here?

http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/lss/773406552.html

PERSONAL TRAINING (Toronto & GTA)

Reply to: serv-773406552@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-07-28, 2:44PM EDT

NEED SOMETHING NEW?

GET BLACK BELT INSTRUCTION FROM A PRO MIXED MARTIAL ARTIST!

Are you looking to tone, improve your cardio, trying to lose unwanted weight, increase your strength, learn how to defend yourself or just want a new training regiment?

The time is now! Work towards a better you!

PERSONAL & GROUP TRAINING IN:

- STRENGTH & CONDITIONING
- MIXED MARTIAL ARTS (MMA)
- KICKBOXING
- BOXING
- JIU JITSU
- CARDIO
- SELF DEFENSE

CONTACT: Derwin Johnson
Email: info@uskdmma.com

Location: Toronto & GTA
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 773406552

I want an MMA BLACKBELT! At least this guy has actually fought in MMA, though only once (he looks pretty buff though).

http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/lss/777830897.html

Mixed Martial Arts - Private Lesson (Toronto)

Reply to: pakshinjames@gmail.com
Date: 2008-07-31, 4:12PM EDT

Any one interested in learning to defend themselves on the street in real fights is welcomed.

Lesson is one hour:

you will learn:

Stopping a knife
Learn the tricks in fights
getting out of any situation
Special moves and throws

About me:

Been doing Judo, Jiu Jitsu, karate, samba, military combat, Russian Martial arts (used by SPEZNAZ)
since 1994

I am willing to share my knowledge with anyone under the age of 17

Girls are warmly welcomed

Under 15 please have a parent or guardian.

One lesson is 50$

if interested please email me at pakshinjames@gmail.com

Location: Toronto
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 777830897

Oh, no.... Systema creepy. Just what Systema needs. Also, I didn't now Samba was the D34D|_Y dance like Capoeria. Kind of odd to charge $50 a lesson for teenagers when that is what pro-instructors are charging for private lessons.

And all I wanted to find on CL was some MMA/boxing gloves and some other gear.

Sorry if I dissed anyone's ad who is legit, it's all meant as good humour, please don't kick my ass. But seriously some of these are outright strange and creepy. You may want to rethink your ad.

:idea:

**Kentucky Fried Chokin** · Posted On: 8/15/2008 10:40pm

Don't dis samba, it's the deadliest of the dances.

**colonelpong2** · Posted On: 8/15/2008 11:38pm

"I am willing to share my knowledge with anyone under the age of 17

Girls are warmly welcomed "

Ok, now THIS is bloody creepy

**3moose1** · Posted On: 8/15/2008 11:42pm

Originally Posted by colonelpong2

"I am willing to share my knowledge with anyone under the age of 17

Girls are warmly welcomed "

Ok, now THIS is bloody creepy

Its also rapey-molesty creepy.

**marcell** · Posted On: 8/15/2008 11:51pm

Especially the fact that girls are not just welcomed, but warmly welcomed...

**marcell** · Posted On: 8/15/2008 11:55pm

Originally Posted by Razamataz

Don't dis samba, it's the deadliest of the dances.

YouTube - Samba

**mrm1775** · Posted On: 8/16/2008 4:50am

Wow. There's a lot of losers out there.

The first guy is willing to trade his time for BS alternative medical therapies?
Like reflexology:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0t-aDILb5I
So, you can get this guy to train you in exchange for vibrating his feet with a dildo. Something tells me more than just women will be answering this post.

**colonelpong2** · Posted On: 8/16/2008 5:04am

This worries me. A whole lot. Have just emailed the originator of the creepy ad with the following:

Hey there,

Um.... someone just brought your advertisement to my attention. It worries me somewhat. Specifically this part:

"I am willing to share my knowledge with anyone under the age of 17

Girls are warmly welcomed "

It may be some innocent problem of wording, but.... um it does sound kind of creepy. The way it reads is that you are willing to only train under age people, primarily young girls.

As i say, it may just be poorly worded, but it does sound quite worrying. Can you clarify the situation for me?"

Will advise of any response. But that ad seriously has me worried

**marcell** · Posted On: 8/17/2008 12:01am

I also sent an e-mail pretending to be a young woman, and the person claims to be only 18. Doesn't sound like a perv. or anything...

Hello,

I'm a 16 year old girl from North York and i want to learn how to fight. Other girls are jealos of my loks at school LOL so I get picked on, but it's not my fault I'm so pretty and their boyfriend wan me hehehe... I want to train riht away though so thanks. 8-)

Melanie.

Hey,

I understand your situation, Im 18 and i know how much girls hate each other :)

I also live in north york.

which school do you go to?

I can give you the first lesson for 40$, its your choice to choose where you want me to train you, Your house, basement, park..etc.

I have been in many street fights and seen many girls fight, so i know exactly what you need to learn.

My 14 years experience in Mixed Martial arts will Give you all you need to defend you self or start a fight (I shouldn't tell you that but i know you will)

Let me Know