Douchebag of the Month - July 08: Quinton "Rampage" Jackson

Phrost · 7/25/2008 11:19am

This is the first installation of our new feature "Douchebag of the Month" and to be honest I wanted it to be about Barack Obama.

"What the hell does Barack Obama have to do with MMA, the Martial Arts, or Physical Training?" you may ask. Nothing, I'm just pissed that "Mr. Change" decided to vote with the other status-quo maintaining jerkbags in Congress to give telecom companies immunity for spying on us among other things.

But unfortunately, our editors rejected the idea. (Ok, we don't really have editors, it was just some random person on my IM list who thought it would be a bad idea. On the other hand, that person likes Kimbo Slice.) And regardless, that kind of crap belongs on our Politics forum, Sociocide, anyway.

So the pressure was on to find someone to which we could hand out our first Golden Nozzle award for Douchey Behavior in a Fighting-related Activity.

Then Rampage decided to plow through traffic in a monster truck with his picture on it and lead police on a chase through LA.

In the words* of Outkast:
I'm sorry Mr. Jackson (OOOOH)
I am for REAL
Never meant to call you a douche
But your LA driving forced us to...

Quinton, Quinton, Quinton; for shame. I know it must hurt for a self-described "Black Man" to lose his championship to someone named after a founding member of the KKK**. That doesn't mean it's a good idea to act a fool in a town already known for pulling large minorities out of their vehciles and beating them. Wouldn't a nice trip to a day spa have relieved just as much tension? Hell, you could probably even spring for a happy ending... at least one a lot happier than laying face down on the pavement with cops pointing their guns at you.

So it's with a heavy and reluctant heart that we must award you the inagural Douchebag of the Month award for your driving shennanigains. Christ man, you managed to beat out Gary Shaw and Melvin Guillard*** for this award. Maybe it's time for a teensy-little break from the spotlight?

*Not really.
**Nathan Bedford Forrest, but this is just a wild guess and a joke shamelessly ripped from a corny Tom Hanks movie. Still, Griffin is from Georgia...
***Perennial contender for DBotM.

**studentoftheart** · Posted On: 7/30/2008 4:32pm

wow i like rampage as a fighter

**UpaLumpa** · Posted On: 7/30/2008 4:38pm

A guy just can't try and work through a mental breakdown in peace these days.

**FickleFingerOfFate** · Posted On: 7/30/2008 4:39pm

WTF is a bigger than life dude supposed to do to relieve stress then?

**Rancid Pantaloons** · Posted On: 7/30/2008 5:19pm

maybe the next months douchebag will be more juicy

**Feryk** · Posted On: 7/30/2008 5:24pm

Well, at least he hasn't done a press conference full of tears and blaming Dana, the UFC or space aliens for his behavior. That's something in his favor.

**Zendetta** · Posted On: 7/30/2008 6:01pm

^Good point. I personally will not lose respect for him until he cries in public and apologizes for letting down the fans, his family, himself, and of course Jeebus.

**HappyOldGuy** · Posted On: 7/30/2008 6:09pm

Originally Posted by Zendetta

^Good point. I personally will not lose respect for him until he cries in public and apologizes for letting down the fans, his family, himself, and of course Jeebus.

If he blames the net gun I will worship him as a god.