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  1. #21
    BudoMonkey's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by tharuz
    dude....that's exactly why I want to be a bachelor for a while and not a father, so I can live a life of "evil fighting"

    Right now you have to make a desicion and ask yourself some questions:

    is this what you love doing?

    can you see your life being worth something without martial arts and sparring?

    how real does life seem without getting in the cage and getting hit?

    what kind of a role model do you want to be to your son?

    is it difficult to train and compete knowing or thinking that you're wasting time that could be spent with your son?

    is it a psychological disadvantage not being able to get the right mindset to hurt people?

    but you know, there are some people that think getting hurt is good for them

    that it makes them tougher, or more mature.

    I can't think of anymore questions, but think long and hard before making a desicion.

    who knows?

    maybe you can coach your kid into being the next UFC champion.

    it's your life.

    have fun.
    When I spar I always go all out against my partners, in stand up or in grappling so that they have the benefit of proper training. I'm known for it. I go really hard, and have no problem with that. In regards to what kind of role model I want to be- I want to be there all the time, or as much as possible, I want to work hard and always be alot of fun and do fun stuff with him... but I also want him to know me as a fighter. I want him to be in school, have some other kid blabbing on about how great their father is, and him to go "yea...but my dad gets into a ring and fights" and feel proud about it. I want him to know nothing in life is worth being scared of, and I'd love for him to get in there and fight someday too.

    What I need to find now, is balance.

    Thanks everyone.
    "This is why we are here. Because the Martial Arts for too long have been cloaked in an unnecessary level of secrecy bordering on mysticism, and its in these shadows that the cockroaches love to hide. -Phrost"

    Quote Originally Posted by Squerlli
    And of course, our resident hard man, underground fighter, kitten rescuer, loving father (I'm serious), and over all very sexy furry ************... Budo monkeh.

  2. #22
    Gezere's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by BudoMonkey
    So, I'm having a little issue. As some of you know, I had to take 3 years off of competing due to a serious injury sustained during muay thai training. Now, prior to that, I fought often- in muay thai, boxing, and karate tournaments. Now, in my younger years before this layoff, I had no problems with motivation. I was ferocious. I would enter damn near every tournament I could, never thought once about the safety of my opponent nor the reason I was fighting- I just stormed in there and wrecked people.

    But, something has changed in me. I am 23 now, and I have a 2 year old son named Felix who is the best thing to ever happen to me. Like I said, this has changed my whole outlook on life, and now I am having a little problem with motivation. During my last tournament, an iska sanshou comp, the following thoughts kept popping up into my head: Why am I here? What am I trying to prove? Why did I pay money and drive all this way to spend time away from my son? I'm sitting here waiting around all day...I should be up in the hotel room playing with him. I should be taking him to frickin universal studios. (which I did after the fights)

    And more disturbing, I found a severe lack of motivation to hurt my opponents. I kept thinking, 'these kids have fathers too. what if that was my son in there? I wouldn't pick my own son up and slam him on his head...I don't wanna hurt them''
    Like I said, I never used to have this issue, but is was largely present this time around. I'd never even thought of these things before, and had no problem seriously injuring other competitors with no remorse.

    Everything has changed in me. Now, I can't think of any reason to fight if it's not for money. It better be a nice chunk of change too, something to make it worth my while. It's just the only motivation I can think of to be away from my family and hurt people.

    Anyhow; what does that make me? I don't feel like a ***** for it, but it feels weird to be missing that natural drive, to even need motivation in the first place. But that's how it is. Is it wrong to feel this way? Does anyone else have this problem?

    I am competing in NAGA either way, in October, but only cause I've just started ju jitsu so I need to test myself. Plus, I don't have to worry about the risk of injuring others or myself so much in grappling anyways.

    Oi, thoughts or comments please.

    Excuse me while a LMAO @ you younguns!!!!!

    You going through the same thing everyone else does. Hell I got 10yrs on you a 3 kids and I have gone through this so many times I lost count. Just yesterday I was at a tournament and I hadn't done any serious training since October (due to going from enlisted to officer) I might be seen in the gym one day a week. So here I was at a tournament where you have some renowned wrecking balls. I asked myself. "WTF AM I DOING? I haven't trained and still have "homework" to do." but when I got out there I got the assurance why I was out there, because I loved it! I won my division and it felt good but its was the fact that I wanted to be out there is what drove me.

    My advice, don't look for a motivation to fight other than YOU WANT TO. Money isn't a motivator, prestige isn't a motivator, hurting your opponent isn't a motivator. Just do it if you want and don't if you don't want to. You will get other priorities that will trump training and fighting and that's fine, its called life. Just never force yourself to do something when you heart isn't in it.
    ______
    Xiao Ao Jiang Hu Zhi Dong Fang Bu Bai (Laughing Proud Warrior Invincible Asia) Dark Emperor of Baji!!!

    RIP SOLDIER

    Didn't anyone ever tell him a fat man could never be a ninja
    -Gene, GODHAND

    You can't practice Judo just to win a Judo Match! You practice so that no matter what happens, you can win using Judo!
    The key to fighting two men at once is to be much tougher than both of them.
    -Daniel Tosh

  3. #23
    Squerlli's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Like Happy Panda said, I totally never wanna have kids now.

    [puts on best thai accent]

    Whata rong wit you Farang! You damn round eye learn the moo tie and no whoopa the ass!? What hell!? Fuggin guy, you go out, you train hod! Vewy vewy hod! And you win wit the moo tie! Make son learn moo tie! You make champ! Fight Yodsanklai! Become nombah one! Wit moo tie! Elbow compepition in face! In face wit MOO TIE!

    [end accent]

  4. #24

    Join Date
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Jiu-jitsu could be a good way to go for now. Less violent/taxing on the body and it would be a great place for the kid to start if you should want to get him into MA.

  5. #25
    tharuz's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    If you want to start your kid to do MMA, I suggest the following disciples:

    Capoeira: when he gets older, hell of a warm up. scores with chicks

    Pankration

    gymnastics/wu shu

    BJJ/wrestling

    when he's a baby he can do pre-school karate/tkd

    of course, when he/she's in highschool he/she can do 4 years of wrestling, boxing, BJJ, kyokushin, Sambo, judo, muay thai, san shou, and kickboxing on to the rest of their life

  6. #26
    This is all I do: girls, photography and BJJ... Join us... or die
    M.C.'s Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    If I ever have kids (god beware that this ever happens, for the sake of the kid) I will teach her/him bjj from 1 year of age. At the age of 6 I will add MuayThai and some TKD for the kicks. And boy I tell my kid to never show any of those skills unless in a fight situation it can't escape.
    Just imagine what happens then, trained for years, always held back and one day unleashed...
    That would be cool.
    Sometimes you lose and sometimes the other guy wins.

    At this point I don't owe anybody an explenation.

    Schools I trained at:
    Lotus Club Cetepe Liberdade Sao Paulo
    Renzo Gracie NYC
    New York Combat Sambo

  7. #27
    Kempo Chris's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    You got to fight because you love it plain and simple. Me personally I love fighting, but I don't like hurting someone else. Before my last fight. I was thinking why the hell am I doing this, I don't want to hurt this guy, what am I trying to prove, I could be doing something different right now.
    Once I got in the ring those thoughts disappeared and then it is kill or be killed.

    I think it is natural for you to feel this way. You have your priorities straight because you think of your family first. It seems fighting is a major part of your life and you have a passion for it. Keep kicking ass, I think you will be just fine.

  8. #28
    Vorpal's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    From my perspective it sounds as though you have matured since the birth of your son. A lot of people pay lip service to prioritizing their families, few do it. I'm guessing that once your kid is a little older and doesn't need you around quite as much you will find yourself redrawn to competing. Probably kick more ass later too.

  9. #29
    Hiro Protagonist's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Even though it sounds a bit like the OP doesn't necessarily want to discuss this any further,
    just my two cents:

    What drives me to train and to fight is the conscience that I want to protect all those I care for at all costs. The thought that I could fail at it after all those years of training is mainly what keeps me "burning" to stay in shape and to get better if you want it.
    I am myself not sure yet how to categorize this feeling, but it seems to make me stronger;
    maybe the idea helps you out a bit, too.

  10. #30
    BudoMonkey's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Nah I'm still down to talk about it. Just been busy. Well, alot to respond to here. You all have actually been really helpful clearing up some things in my head. It just felt weird y'know, having never needed motivation before. It's good to think of all the people who had to go through this before me, it's just a little change and I've got some adjusting to do. Ultimately, it goes back to what many of you said, that I can't stop fighting. I live for that ****. I love getting in there. Testing myself in competition is a way of life for me and now I have more reason than ever.

    I'm not gonna worry about taking time off to spend with my family though, either. I love martial arts, but it's just not the most important thing in my life anymore. And that's ok. At the end of the day, protecting and providing for my family is all that really matters. But I am gonna keep fighting because it's part of me. And I'm gonna fight hard to win quick, because that is how I'd want my son to do it and that's how I want him to remember me.

    Everything is different now, at first I was weirded out by that but now I'm excited. It's like it's all brand new again. The future is wide open- and I'm loving it.

    Thanks everyone.
    Last edited by BudoMonkey; 7/21/2008 7:54am at .
    "This is why we are here. Because the Martial Arts for too long have been cloaked in an unnecessary level of secrecy bordering on mysticism, and its in these shadows that the cockroaches love to hide. -Phrost"

    Quote Originally Posted by Squerlli
    And of course, our resident hard man, underground fighter, kitten rescuer, loving father (I'm serious), and over all very sexy furry ************... Budo monkeh.

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