1. #1
    OFFICIAL Mayor of Cwcville supporting member
    Boyd's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    I Have Been Terrorizing Co-Workers With Merciless Karate Danger: Please Help Me

    So sometimes at work, things get slow and I get bored. So I start doing Isshin-Ryu techniques on them to alleviate said boredom. Don't worry!!! I don't actually hurt them, and I give them fair warning in advance. I will say things like "Watch out, here comes the Karate Apocalypse" or "Feel free to cry whenever, because I am devastating you with karate." Then I will execute a lethal technique from Seuichan kata.

    They laugh, of course. One of them told me he did Isshin-Ryu as a kid and now he's homeless. (That last part is not a joke; correlation definitely equals causation.) But I'm not laughing. I'm crying. Late at night. In bed. Out of remorse for molesting their souls with my terrible Karate attacks. I can't imagine the therapy their skyscrapers will need. It's like the ending of Man Of Steel.

    My question is this: How can I stop traumatizing people with Karate?
    Captain's Log: Just a little update for all my TRUE and HONEST friends out there:

    1) I am STRAIGHT! I am STRAIGHT! Get it through your thick skulls, numbskulls!

    2) My name is not Ian Brandon Something.

    3) Kacey is coming with me now. I have stolen her from the other Christian Weston Chandler.

    REMINDER: I am still the one and only true creator of sonichu and rosechu electric hedgehog pokemon

  2. #2
    It is Fake's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Take up Tai Chi and teach them about The Grand Ultimate Fist.

  3. #3
    OFFICIAL Mayor of Cwcville supporting member
    Boyd's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Hmmmm.....Grand Ultimate Fist....I don't want to blaspheme, but isn't that almost as terrifying as Karate Horror? Like isn't it pretty much that .GIF of Godzilla giving King Kong exciting head in your sig?
    Captain's Log: Just a little update for all my TRUE and HONEST friends out there:

    1) I am STRAIGHT! I am STRAIGHT! Get it through your thick skulls, numbskulls!

    2) My name is not Ian Brandon Something.

    3) Kacey is coming with me now. I have stolen her from the other Christian Weston Chandler.

    REMINDER: I am still the one and only true creator of sonichu and rosechu electric hedgehog pokemon

  4. #4
    hungryjoe's Avatar
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    Jan 2007
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I'm guessing HR at Boyd's workplace is non existent.

    Waiting for move to YMAS.

  5. #5
    OFFICIAL Mayor of Cwcville supporting member
    Boyd's Avatar
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    HR came after me, but then I did Naihanchi kata from five feet away and the entire department screamed in unison HOLY FUCKS and sprinted into a volcano.

    In hindsight, burning alive was much more merciful than the Karate Holocaust I had prepared for them if they did not directly jump into a volcano.
    Captain's Log: Just a little update for all my TRUE and HONEST friends out there:

    1) I am STRAIGHT! I am STRAIGHT! Get it through your thick skulls, numbskulls!

    2) My name is not Ian Brandon Something.

    3) Kacey is coming with me now. I have stolen her from the other Christian Weston Chandler.

    REMINDER: I am still the one and only true creator of sonichu and rosechu electric hedgehog pokemon

  6. #6

    Join Date
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Oh, I just meekly sit in my chair, and when people start to go like 'hey you do karate, right' and start doing silly kicks, I just say 'come on you surely can kick higher'.

    Then they rip their pants in the ass/crotch area, and I laugh mercilessly.

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