Bullshido Digest Monthly.
Keeping up with all the drama, events and controversy on the forums can be hectic. That is why this new monthly digest was created to help members keep track of the highlights of the previous months postings. Journal creator Virus had this to say about the new item; “We look forward to using this journal to serve the community as a whole.” When asked about the frequency of the updates, he responded “We hope to make this journal more regular than a vegetarian’s bowel movements.”
Now, on with the news:
Hedgehogey announces toning down of forum activity.
Respected forum member Hedgehogey who gained notoriety by defeating a barely-resisting ninja with no sparring experience, announced a toning down of his forum activity.
In his announcement post, he railed against what he saw as flaws in the forum such as homophobia, poor quality posters and “retarded injokes”.
“I haven’t seen faggotry this bad since my 4chan days” He said.
Forum staff are honouring the respected member by holding a going-away ceremony, in which he will be presented with his departure gift; A framed lolcat picture “I can has t3h d34dly now please?” personally signed by forum great, Iama Douchebag Esq.
Troll Activity up by 20%.
Members are concerned about the increase in troll threads last month, estimated to be up by 20 percent from previous months. Forum experts say that school holidays may be to blame for the increase. Not only has the increase in trolling caused unease amongst members, the quality of recent trolls has also caused concern.
“We aren’t talking about material that CrackyMcslughoot or the Sirc, would produce.” a forum expert recently said. “Most of these trolls are less convincing than Dr. Tsun Tzu’s grappling skills.”
Captions of Disaster 4th Edition hits the forums.
The latest edition of the hugely successful Captions of Disaster series was released onto the forums last week. This follows up from the popular Captions of Disaster 1, 2, 3 and Zero 3 Alpha editions.
“Conducting investigations into fraudulent individuals and exposing sub-par training methods is a time-consuming process.” A forum spokesman said. “But finding a picture of an aikido guy looking like a dickflap is easier than finding tabi at a ninjer school.”
“Every time they hold a seminar and make their pics publicly available, they serve themselves up to us like a fucking sashimi platter. It’s awesome.”
Plans for a fifth installment are already underway, along with a Best of Captions of Disaster thread. Forum owner Phrost is currently negotiating high-premium advertising space with several sponsors.
Tough new anti-homophobia stance to hit the forums.
Phrost recently announced the introduction of tough new anti-homophobia measures to be implemented in the forums.
“If you call someone names like ‘queer’, ‘poof’ or ‘Dr. Fagtastic.’ You better make sure they aren’t actually gay before you do it.” Phrost said in a recent statement. “And if you call someone ‘bitch’, you could be in trouble if they actually turn out to play wide-receiver.” He added.
Noted forum member Annatrocity has come out of the closet, again. In a recent thread about Rudy Abel, Annatrocity announced that she was actually bisexual. When forum members suggested that she may actually have a romantic interest for Rudy Adel, she announced “I’d consider sleeping with him, but only if I get to wear one of these” she said as she posted a pic of a giant, spiked strap-on dildo.
Errant108 challenges newbie to define TMA.
In a recent thread by newbie Wakingheart about the ineffectiveness of traditional martial arts, renowned member Errant challenged him to “define TMA”.
“If it doesn’t exist, it doesn’t suck” he said. “What Wakingheart needs to do is define a category that is systematically inclusive of all terrible martial arts. Unless he can do that, he’s talking **** out his arse.”
After much back-and-forth between the newbie and the forum giant, the newbie admitted that he couldn’t do this, and finally conceded that Tang Soo Do was an effective martial art.
Virus promoted to “Living Legend” status.
After a recent bout of green reps, forum member virus was promoted to the status of “Living Legend.” He was offered his choice of prize out of a new car, a beachside holiday house or “t3h internets”, to which he chose the latter.
He stated that he would like to thank the aikidoists, ninjers and chunners of the world for making this possible.
Aikidoist vows to fix broken art.
New member Bill Danosky vows to fix broken elements of aikido with aliveness and crosstraining.
After requesting advice from the forum about his art’s shortcomings, Bill was harangued by several posters to start afresh with an art that isn’t terrible. Resolutely, he chose to remain loyal to the art which nurtured him for many years.
But some forum members remain skeptical. “It’s ridiculous” one member said “the dead horse of aikido has been flogged, buried, dug up and flogged again and this guy comes along and wants to start giving it mouth-to-mouth. It’s absurd.”