I'm sure many of us have many interesting and entertaining, and sometimes sad stories from our training in kempo/kempo/ke?po.
Feel free to share yours here.
My instructor taught Sonny Gascon how to tie his belt. Yes this is for real.
He went to the airport to pick him up for his instructor at the time. Apparently he had not put on a belt or really train since the 70's. So he didn't know how to tie his belt and my instructor had to show him how to tie his belt(also it was a special red belt)
My instructors instructor at the time pluck Gascon out of obscurity and flew him in with hopes of using his name to start a organization using the popular name of Gascon and figuring he would be made the head hancho, but unfortunately some one paid him more money and then became head hancho in the karanzenpo system.
Obviously this is a sad sad story.
More stories to come.
Knowing is not enough, you must apply...
...Willing is not enough you must do
I had this assistant instructor named Joe who was a nut. He was this middle aged blue-collar bar-room brawler, who hadn't even started training in martial arts until he was in his forties. He wasn't a very bright guy, but damn did he love to fight. So much so that his hands were misshapen and his knuckles busted down to practically nothing. He started doing kenpo because it is a TMA easier for older guys (no high kicks) and because he liked the idea of crazy brutal techniques like ripping out throats and testicles. Anyways, here are some of the more interesting stories from my experience training with him.
- One day, our head instructor, Frank, was showing us how iron palm coniditoning works. After he showed us how to do it, Joe chimed in "People don't just condition their hands. Some people do iron conditioning with their feet, shins, and face." I began to laugh out loud at the thought of someone beating their head into a conditioning bag to callus their face. Joe heard me and sharply said "You think this is a joke? It's not funny! People really do condition their foreheads so they can take more punishment!"
- Joe: "Today you will learn a tiger style karate attack method. It is said that the tiger doesn't need a method of attack because aggression is the tiger's real defense."
*Shows us the tiger style attack pattern*
Me: (casually joking) "But Joe, since aggression is the tiger's method of attack, do we even need to memorize this attack pattern?"
Joe: (obviously confused) "....Yes. This is testable matterial. Do you understand?"
Me: (realizing the futility of trying to explain the joke to Joe) "Yeah..."
- Joe: "Frank's Si-Gung is a co-creator of the kenpo speed striking system. He can hit you like... *stops and thinks* five or six times in... *stops to think again* thrity seconds." *Looks at us expecting us to be impressed at the mental picture he has just drawn for us*
- So we're doing some self defenses. Joe reads the last part of the defense out loud to us "After the opponent is on the ground, finish him off with a finnishing move of your choice." So, I take down the guy I'm working with, and simulate a bottom fist to his face, after dropping to one knee. "NO! That's wrong!" screamed Joe, "If I were finnishing off an opponent, I'd hit them in the groin! See, like this!" Joe takes down a student and simulates stomping on his groin and lets out a mightly "KIAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!" Puzzled, but not wanting to ask questions, I do the move again, but pretend to stomp the dude's nutsack at the end instead of the face pound. Needless to say, Joe approved.
- Joe, staring off into space while students are sparring: "I like watching people fall down..."
- Joe starting class off with some words of kenpo wisdom: "Balls. It's all about the balls."
- We were working on a technique called "the four fists," which involves blocking an attack, countering with a jab, cross, and a hook punch, then ending with a front kick while stepping back. After a while, I became curious about the misleading title, so I decided to ask Joe about it.
Me: Joe, why do they call it the four fists, if there is only three fist attacks?
Joe: It has a kick at the end too. The kick is a punch.
Other Student: A kick is a punch?
Joe (confused: Uh....Yes...You're at a level where you have to start thinking in terms of your whole body. Everything is connected in your body. This is a full body attack! *begins whirling his arms around mystically*
- Joe giving advice during a class review before belt testing: "When he tests you, you got to make a lot of noise for Frank. He really loves it when you kia with your attacks. I'm telling you, you really gotta yell if you want a good grade. Frank loves that ****. When you're out there during the final test, really yell and make him cum in his pants!"
A lot of people make fun of the deadly eye strikes, but the truth is they work.
My instructor had a school in Florida with a couple other guys. One day a guy walks in and want to test himself against one of the instructors. The guy who walked in was college wrestler and did martial arts. So one of the instructors said sure.
So the wrestler manages to take him down and get him in a choke hold. So the kempo teacher starts feeling himself getting ready to pass out. He takes his thumb puts it in the wrestlers eye and no effect, so this time he digs deep with his thumb. Wrestler lets up and doesn't want to fight anymore.
Getting taken down and almost knocked out is dangerous path to take before utilizing the eye strike. I make fun of the idea of the "solve everything" eye strike or groin strike etc. Only a fool thinks getting hit in the eye would be completely ineffective. And he is lucky the wrestler did not poke him in the eye from a superior position. Leverage can screw you up!
i was at a kempo seminar and the guy doing it was describing a fight in which he did a perfect "delayed sword" no sooner than he finished the story he sayed "if anyone ever tells you exactly what techniques they used in a fight, they are probable lying
I got hit in the eyes pretty good today. We were doing some light knife sparring, foolishly without goggles. I moved in for a groin stab while my partner was reaching out his left hand for a block or grab or something, and his fingers went into my eye sockets over the top of my eyeballs with a good deal of impact like a palm strike (I was moving right into it). It stunned me pretty good and I had trouble seeing for a while. It would have been a useful tactic to stun me for some kind of follow up, but not a fight ender by itself.
I got stabbed in the eye with a rubber knife in JKD a couple of months back. I've trained withharder knives before, the thought of it being either wood or metal gives me the shivers. Got a black eye and it was sore for a few days.
If it had been fingers, it would have been difficult to see out of, but not a fight ender by any means. Although, it would certainly help sap the fight from you....
Interestingly enough, I spoke to a Doctor about teh d33dly eye gouge and he believeditwas possible. BUT, he showed me how surgeons pop it from the socket, he had a very specific method. The eye is surprisingly tough.
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