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  1. #1
    E-Van's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    Watching MMA with my Grandparents

    This weekend I had to make a trip to visit my grandparents in Eureka CA and spend some quality time with them. One of the things they enjoy is a early dinner and then some good ol Larry King. Well, on Saturday night I explained to them that there was a special event taking place on local television. So I grabbed my grandfather and I a vodka grapefruit and witched the teley to the EliteXC fight. Hillarity insued.

    At first the previews started and showed some fighter highlights. I was cringing a bit knowing that my Grandmother did not approve at ALL. I have been doing martial arts my whole life, wrestling, TKD (I remember when she always called it Taiwan Do when I was a kid and I used to get pissed) then Karate, and most recently MMA. After one grueling tournement at my dojo I sent her some pictures of me before and after the 9x3 minute rounds of competition, with her only grandsons face black and blue. She demanded I stop training.

    So here we are in the family room, my grandpa and I a few sheets to the wind, and my grandmother looking at me criticaly after the first fight. "Is this what you do Eric? This is barbaric! I think its the popularity of things like this and the internet that are causing all these kids to get in fights in school!" I just shrug and say "maybe" but its my Grandpa that actualy defends MMA!

    "Men have been boxing for hundreds of years damn it! Its what we do. The greeks used to fight just like this.. to a crowd twice this size. Its all these damn Liberal parents blaming everything but themselves for there damn disrepectfull kids."

    Did I tell you I love my Grandpa?

    So next is the Gina Kaitlyn fight and my Grandmother can barely watch. She is insensed at this point, and when the fight is stopped, and she looks at Kaitlyns face (wich was pretty brutal) she actualy gets up and says "Tomorrow I am writing this station. This is not appropriate for television." and she leaves the room. I realy cant defend it. My grandparents are old school, they would never understand that these are athletes who are testing themselves. Its not barbaric. How would I ever explai..

    "Hell I dont think its barbaric son" says my grandpa (who has always called me son, and is the only man alive that could get away with it)

    "You dont?"

    "Hell no. You know I trained in martial arts? You know whata bayonet is?"

    "well yah of course. On the end of your rifle"

    "Thats right. They taught us how to take out Japs with those. You know that right? How to gut em before you blew em away" He has obviously had a bit to drink at this point because he never talks about the war when he is sober. He then gets up and puts his drink down and assumes the position of a soldier stabbing his bayonet and a enemy he must still see in his eyes.

    At this time I explain the phenom that is Kimbo Slice to my grandfather as the comercials end and the main event starts.

    "Holy smokes thats one big black man"

    "Yah you could say that" I chuckle "You think that other guy stands a chance grandpa?"

    he looks at me for a bit and then says, "Well hell. Hes gota chance of whinning the lottery too right? Why dont you mix us another one and lets see who wins this. I got 7up."

    "What? 7up? In your drink"

    "No" he laughs "I got Kimbo 7up to win"

    I love my grandpa.
    Last edited by E-Van; 6/02/2008 5:40pm at .

  2. #2
    Northeast Anti-Silliness Department Inc. supporting member
    Ke?poFist's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Funny. Yeah, I find the females in my family pretty unforgiving of my hobbies and interests too :P
    Knowing is not enough, you must apply...
    ...Willing is not enough you must do
    ~Bruce Lee

  3. #3
    DerAuslander's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    A vodka grapefruit is called a Greyhound.

    Your grandfather is my hero.

    You need some work.

  4. #4
    E-Van's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Errant108
    A vodka grapefruit is called a Greyhound.

    Your grandfather is my hero.

    You need some work.
    He is one of my heros as well. And its called a Greyhound huh? Thats funny because I remember when I was younger he would laugh at me and tell my grandma to bring him a "wet dog". That must have been what he ment.

  5. #5

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    Your grandfather should get a divorce, his wife seems like a prude.

  6. #6
    Kempo Chris's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Your gramps is a badass

  7. #7
    DerAuslander's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Wet Dog is one I've never heard but it makes sense. There is a variation of the Greyhound with salt on the rim of the glass a la a margarita. This is called a Salty Dog.

  8. #8
    jnp's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Errant108
    A vodka grapefruit is called a Greyhound.

    Your grandfather is my hero.

    You need some work.
    That's pretty much one of the best replies to an OP's post I've ever read.
    Shut the hell up and train.

  9. #9
    DerAuslander's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I can be your hero, baby.

  10. #10
    Rivington's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Throw in a little triple sec and you have a Hawaiian Screw.

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