Posted On:4/11/2008 8:09pm
Man.. My Opinion here, but any MA relationship that gets "too personal" is bad news.. the whole "Like a father to me" concept usually goes right out the Window when it comes to Money and/or Politics.
An American Hero!
Posted On:4/11/2008 11:05pm
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Like a father? Like a son? Sooooo he beats you and cheats on your momma?
Seriously though, if you don't like it leave. I hate how people are such wusses about this. How are you being disloyal if you tell him "Hey, my interests have changed, so Im not gonna train anymore."
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Posted On:4/12/2008 2:24am
Style: Muay Thai
Oh man, been there, got the t-shirt.
I think leaving really saved my relationship with my instructor, though. The longer you stay, the longer you get resentful for his teaching/business methods and in turn, you'll just resent him outright.
I don't live in the same city (or same country, a lot of the time) as he does any more, but years later, we still chat on the phone/email a bit, and we can debate training methods etc without it feeling personal.
I'm still don't agree with a lot of the ways he does things, but I'm glad we saved the friendship, because he was an important figure in my life growing up. We just went two different ways, and it sounds like that's what's happening for you.
Still, he didn't mind me moving on, and I didn't leave to teach elsewhere, just to train, and I moved away not long after anyway. Possibly your instructor wouldn't be so accepting if you opened a rival school nearby.
Posted On:4/12/2008 5:07am
When a teacher starts making training easier for a new generation than he did for the previous generation, that's the problem starting right there.
The Bottom Brick
Posted On:4/12/2008 7:20am
Style: BJJ, Ju-Jitsu
If he is giving away rank easily, buy yourself a 6th dan, then open a cult, er club, down the road.
Seriously though, another voice for making sure you are seeing the whole story before taking any action. Perhaps you were teaching things that were too hard for that group, you may have progressed far beyond them.
"Sifu, I"m niether - I'm a fire dragon so don't **** with me!"
Posted On:4/12/2008 9:11am
Omega and KO have given you the best advice. I was in the exact same situation with a few twists.
Although, like others have said, make sure your perspective is correct.
I quit. All I'll say is be prepared for anything. If you sense he has lost respect he probably has. Be prepared to be kicked out of the Org or reduced in rank. Do what you feel is necessary.
If it bothers you enough to ask for internet advice there is a problem.
The hood mentality is crippling disease, that attacks your nervous system. It makes you nervous of the system. Gangsters and hood rats are especially susceptible to this growth stunting mentality. The hood is where I'm from, but it's not what I am. The hood is where I'm from, but it's not what I am. --Keith David--Ice Cube
All I got is genes and chromosomes
Consider me Black to the bone
All I want is peace and love
On this planet (Ain't that how God planned it?) --P.E.
Posted On:4/13/2008 2:28am
I think all of you have brought up good points...and i thank you. I think it is time for me to speak up and if it goes bad then i guess i have to leave...thanks again
Posted On:4/13/2008 5:56am
Style: Muay Thai n00b
Sorry, just saying, martial artists have a special thing I noticed where the students look up to and revere the teacher where the teacher could not care too much in return. the teacher does not always have bad intentions, it is just that the student is creating this relationship in their mind because that is what they want.
This happened to me.
You owe yourself to do what you think is right.
Honestly, if the quality of the product/class drops, get a different supplier/teacher. It's as simple as that. I recommend Judo.
Be prepared to be kicked out of the Org
This is a fact. I was in the same situation. I was an instructor at my karate place (unpaid for the most part) and felt my Shihan was the greatest role model and father figure in the world. Then I take Judo, find all I have learned and spent SO MANY FUCKING YEARS ON is close to complete bullshit, find Bullshido. Write about my problems and suddenly BAM he finds it and I am kicked out of the Org, Club, everything. But lemme tell you this. It's all been for the better. I've grown as a martial artist with more time to put into Judo (well, not now with College and the like, but that's not due to anything in this discussion) and just felt relieved in the end instead of choked up about loosing a "Father figure" who I found out I didn't admire nearly as much as I thought I did.
Last edited by WorldWarCheese; 4/13/2008 6:00am at .
Posted On:4/14/2008 1:34am
oh my god man i was there 1.5 years ago....
its a horrible feeling, being used...... i dont usually talk about feeling on the net but....
dude get the **** out of there i was just there man....
i trained with a guy for 3.5 years, spent 20 hours a week at a TKD school i looked up to the instructor like a dad in a way because i didnt have much of a relationship with mine.....
i taught the kids class, the adult class and then i took private lessons from the owner every day for years.....
then they fucked me over so bad..... i was doing all that without pay.... then they fucked me over hard..... they said i wouldnt be allowed to cross train, like they had some type of authority in my life outside of the dojo.... and for asking they tried to demote me even though i spent more time training and there than his black belts.
then i said **** off i will never train with you guys again and i left and then the school fell apart cause i was the only one that was really dedicated as an adult cept for a few kids.
now i do MMA and way better
Posted On:4/25/2008 11:14am
Style: Song Moo Kwon TKD / Kendo
Sorry to hear about your trouble. But even in real life children grow up and leave their parents. Maybe its up to you to continue the good tradition of training that you grew up in, and let your future be the legacy of your past experience. So my advice is, talk to you GM, if things do not return to the way you like or want, get the **** out.
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