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  1. notcool is offline

    Featherweight

    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Big Tex
    Posts
    17

    Posted On:
    4/11/2008 8:09pm

    Bullshido Newbie
     Style: HKD/BJJ/Wrasslin'

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Man.. My Opinion here, but any MA relationship that gets "too personal" is bad news.. the whole "Like a father to me" concept usually goes right out the Window when it comes to Money and/or Politics.
  2. GIJoe6186 is offline
    GIJoe6186's Avatar

    An American Hero!

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Long Island,NY
    Posts
    1,974

    Posted On:
    4/11/2008 11:05pm

    Business Class Supporting Membersupporting member
     TryKickboxingNow.com - Free Internet Marketing for Kickboxing Programs! Style: BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Like a father? Like a son? Sooooo he beats you and cheats on your momma?

    Seriously though, if you don't like it leave. I hate how people are such wusses about this. How are you being disloyal if you tell him "Hey, my interests have changed, so Im not gonna train anymore."
  3. retrograde is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    268

    Posted On:
    4/12/2008 2:24am


     Style: Muay Thai

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Oh man, been there, got the t-shirt.

    I think leaving really saved my relationship with my instructor, though. The longer you stay, the longer you get resentful for his teaching/business methods and in turn, you'll just resent him outright.

    I don't live in the same city (or same country, a lot of the time) as he does any more, but years later, we still chat on the phone/email a bit, and we can debate training methods etc without it feeling personal.

    I'm still don't agree with a lot of the ways he does things, but I'm glad we saved the friendship, because he was an important figure in my life growing up. We just went two different ways, and it sounds like that's what's happening for you.

    Still, he didn't mind me moving on, and I didn't leave to teach elsewhere, just to train, and I moved away not long after anyway. Possibly your instructor wouldn't be so accepting if you opened a rival school nearby.
  4. shmuel is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    337

    Posted On:
    4/12/2008 5:07am


     

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    When a teacher starts making training easier for a new generation than he did for the previous generation, that's the problem starting right there.
  5. Askari is offline

    The Bottom Brick

    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    2,069

    Posted On:
    4/12/2008 7:20am


     Style: BJJ, Ju-Jitsu

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    If he is giving away rank easily, buy yourself a 6th dan, then open a cult, er club, down the road.

    Seriously though, another voice for making sure you are seeing the whole story before taking any action. Perhaps you were teaching things that were too hard for that group, you may have progressed far beyond them.
    "Sifu, I"m niether - I'm a fire dragon so don't **** with me!"
  6. It is Fake is offline
    It is Fake's Avatar

    Administrator

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    33,976

    Posted On:
    4/12/2008 9:11am

    staff
     Style: xingyi

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Omega and KO have given you the best advice. I was in the exact same situation with a few twists.

    Although, like others have said, make sure your perspective is correct.

    I quit. All I'll say is be prepared for anything. If you sense he has lost respect he probably has. Be prepared to be kicked out of the Org or reduced in rank. Do what you feel is necessary.

    If it bothers you enough to ask for internet advice there is a problem.
  7. hkdjohn is offline

    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    6

    Posted On:
    4/13/2008 2:28am

    Bullshido Newbie
     

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I think all of you have brought up good points...and i thank you. I think it is time for me to speak up and if it goes bad then i guess i have to leave...thanks again
  8. WorldWarCheese is offline
    WorldWarCheese's Avatar

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Thailand
    Posts
    2,121

    Posted On:
    4/13/2008 5:56am


     Style: Muay Thai n00b

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Sorry, just saying, martial artists have a special thing I noticed where the students look up to and revere the teacher where the teacher could not care too much in return. the teacher does not always have bad intentions, it is just that the student is creating this relationship in their mind because that is what they want.
    This happened to me.

    You owe yourself to do what you think is right.
    Agreed.

    Honestly, if the quality of the product/class drops, get a different supplier/teacher. It's as simple as that. I recommend Judo.
    Be prepared to be kicked out of the Org
    This is a fact. I was in the same situation. I was an instructor at my karate place (unpaid for the most part) and felt my Shihan was the greatest role model and father figure in the world. Then I take Judo, find all I have learned and spent SO MANY FUCKING YEARS ON is close to complete bullshit, find Bullshido. Write about my problems and suddenly BAM he finds it and I am kicked out of the Org, Club, everything. But lemme tell you this. It's all been for the better. I've grown as a martial artist with more time to put into Judo (well, not now with College and the like, but that's not due to anything in this discussion) and just felt relieved in the end instead of choked up about loosing a "Father figure" who I found out I didn't admire nearly as much as I thought I did.
    Last edited by WorldWarCheese; 4/13/2008 6:00am at .
  9. tkdrandall is offline

    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    2

    Posted On:
    4/14/2008 1:34am

    Bullshido Newbie
     Style: MT

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    oh my god man i was there 1.5 years ago....
    its a horrible feeling, being used...... i dont usually talk about feeling on the net but....
    dude get the **** out of there i was just there man....
    i trained with a guy for 3.5 years, spent 20 hours a week at a TKD school i looked up to the instructor like a dad in a way because i didnt have much of a relationship with mine.....
    i taught the kids class, the adult class and then i took private lessons from the owner every day for years.....
    then they fucked me over so bad..... i was doing all that without pay.... then they fucked me over hard..... they said i wouldnt be allowed to cross train, like they had some type of authority in my life outside of the dojo.... and for asking they tried to demote me even though i spent more time training and there than his black belts.
    then i said **** off i will never train with you guys again and i left and then the school fell apart cause i was the only one that was really dedicated as an adult cept for a few kids.
    now i do MMA and way better
  10. lecherro is offline

    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Dallas Texas
    Posts
    4

    Posted On:
    4/25/2008 11:14am

    Bullshido Newbie
     Style: Song Moo Kwon TKD / Kendo

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Sorry to hear about your trouble. But even in real life children grow up and leave their parents. Maybe its up to you to continue the good tradition of training that you grew up in, and let your future be the legacy of your past experience. So my advice is, talk to you GM, if things do not return to the way you like or want, get the **** out.
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