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  1. #11
    G-Off's Avatar
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    Jul 2005
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    State College, PA
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    2,329
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by aardvarks
    I vote "It Doesn't Happen"
    Obviously, since there are no vids. Nor is there any other evidence that this webcomic has previously, does now, or ever will contain any little bit of "teh funny."

  2. #12
    MrBadGuy's Avatar
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    Oct 2007
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    Seven Seas of Rhye
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    2,899
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    You took a small step forward with #4. You took two 50 mile strides backwards with this one.

  3. #13
    Snake Plissken's Avatar
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    Jan 2007
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    11,553
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by MrBadGuy
    You took a small step forward with #4. You took two 50 mile strides backwards with this one.
    so to paraphrase:

    MrBadGuy endorses chain-punching

  4. #14
    Kid Miracleman's Avatar
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    Jan 2007
    Location
    Parts Unknown!
    Posts
    3,249
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I weep.

  5. #15
    partyboy's Avatar
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    Jun 2007
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    Atlanta
    Posts
    1,584
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    how long did it take you to draw the tree? please tell me you're not investing good training time to do this

  6. #16
    MrBadGuy's Avatar
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    Oct 2007
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    Seven Seas of Rhye
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    2,899
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Actually, you know what? I hope he keeps making them.

    The comics themselves are horrid, but the comments are god damn hilarious. I've been reading them, and just laughing. Then if I get tired of laughing, I just read the comic.

  7. #17
    Snake Plissken's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    11,553

  8. #18
    Uri Shatil's Avatar
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    Mar 2007
    Location
    Greater Boston
    Posts
    744
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Airman Kai, please read what I have to say. I want to help your comic. See, the artwork is fine, it's just the content that needs work. The comic isn't awful, but it's not very funny, and you have a bit of a tough crowd, to say the least (See: John Gabriel's Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory)

    It's no secret that your jokes aren't as funny as they should be. Ya know why? Because...

    A) There's no punchline. Use timing! You know... [wiki]comic timing[/wiki]? You seem like a smart guy. I'm guessing you know what it is. Comics have the disadvantage of being in writing. Just because you see it at a certain pace doesn't mean others will, too. Take your first comic, for example. I can see how you were thinking when writing it, but I didn't read it like that. If you want to change the pace, you're going to have to manipulate the text and the frames so that one thing is read before another (See: SMBC example 1, 2, and 3).

    B) You're beating dead horses. So far, you've made fun of MAP, made fun of WC, made fun of Never Back Down, and made fun of "TUF n00bs." It would be goddamn impossible for anyone at all to come up with new jokes on these topics. And that's all your comic is, really: a joke. Taking an old joke and putting it in comic form will not make it new! You can make a joke incorporating a dead horse, but don't spit back jokes we've heard a million gajillion times and expect us to laugh at that. Comic #3 had an original idea, so you're clearly capable of coming up with something original.

    C) It's static, but you're acting as though it's dynamic. Nobody's moving, but you're having a three-frame dialouge. That's boring. Do one of two things: Either change up the artwork frame-to-frame (Penny-Arcade, referenced above, is good at this) or make it a one-panel comic (SMBC, referenced above, is really good at this). But when both people are just standing there and occasionally *gasp* raising an eyebrow, it's boring. It's like what I said before: A comic is just one way to deliver a joke. And you're not capitalizing on the fact that you have a comic as your venue. What's the point of having a webcomic if it's just gonna be dialogue? You could have had an equal level of t3h funneh by doing this:

    Bully A: I ended up going to a MAP meeting last weekend. It was actually pretty helpful. I'm glad I went...
    Bully B: Wait, wait... what?
    And so forth.

    But that's not what you're doing, is it? You have a comic. That means that you can do things, like give us information through visual clues instead of text, manipulate timing, change the context of the joke, and so forth. But so far, you've done none of those things. It would help you to start.

  9. #19
    Snake Plissken's Avatar
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    Jan 2007
    Posts
    11,553
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    For the next comic I propose this:

    Frame A: deep within the confines of his Boston bedroom, "rasslin Uri Shatil" is pounding furiously on the keys of his Mac, creating the wall of text above with a look of self-satifaction

    Frame B: split screen: one half: "smilin' rasslin Uri Shatil" hits "Send" on his Mac, second frame: Somewhere in Missouri, "Stretchin Airman Kai" sitting at his Sony Vaio notebook, scratching his head with a look of confusion. Thought baloon reading somehting along the lines of "what awesomeness can I unleash on Bullshido with my next web-toon" to the side. {sound text "ping-You've Got Mail"}

    Frame C: A a giant "?" forms above the curious "Mega-Airman Kai" clicks "Read". {sound text "read"}

    Frame D: A giant "stormcloud graphic, complete with a lightning bolt" forms above the Angry "Frowning Mecha-Airman Kai's" head as he clicks "Delete". {sound text "delete"}

    Frame F: "Jet Jaguar King Airman Kai" has a thought baloon, with a giant "!" over his head "Hey I know, I got a great idea!! Has about Osiris and Phrost talking about how George Dillman is similar to faith healer Benny Hinn?"

  10. #20
    WorldWarCheese's Avatar
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    Aug 2006
    Location
    Thailand
    Posts
    2,121
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Why am I still reading these?

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